Groans and sighs of relief echoed around the circle as I set down my final card. We all got to our feet shakily, legs having gone to sleep after sitting for so long. Any post card game tension dissolved as we ate, stuffing ourselves with fresh caprese salad followed by hand-cut pasta with scallops and muscles.
Luca and Evelyn chatted with the crew members in Italian and ended up spending a good amount of the evening with them.Garrett turned in early to study. Jared and Alyssa also went back to their cabin.
I showered, pulled on a robe, and headed to the upper deck. On a whim, I grabbed a card from the Uno deck as I passed the table, then curled up on a circular couch.
“You should have played the reverse card and kept the game going,” I told Wes as he climbed the stairs a little while later.
Even with my eyes closed, I knew the uneventhud thumppattern of his footsteps. I’d know them anywhere. It was an intimacy born of long hours and lazy days over the course of our lives. A snide thought crept in through my bliss,I wonder if Maddie knows him from the rhythm of his footsteps.
Was he actually happy with her? From the guys’ subtle comments, I wanted to know more. But I convinced myself to wait until after the trip.
“We’d been playing for hours and were on the verge of someone committing murder. I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer it if this vacation didn’t turn into an Agatha Christie mystery.”
At his voice, I cracked open my eyes. He was wearing shorts and a cropped tank with stretched arm holes, so I could easily see the defined contours of his stomach. My gaze lingered as I wondered how it would feel to trace the dips and ridges of his body. Both of us had gotten more tattoos by then—a swallow on his bicep, a vine twining up my arm—but I always checked that the moon was still there right over his heart. The cushion dipped as he sat next to me.
I pulled the card from my pocket and flicked it between my fingers. “Come on. You hate losing.”
“To anyone else, maybe,” he said. “But if me losing means that you win? I’ll do it again in a heartbeat.”
The card started to flutter on a breeze, slipping free from where I pinched it. I reached for it, but Wes caught it first.
“Here.” He pressed it into my palm.
I ran a finger over the stiff edge. “Does this ever feel like a game to you? Like we’re playing, but they’ll never tell us all the rules?”
“All the time. Why?”
“It’s nothing, and like you said, we should just enjoy being here.”
“Come on. I want to know. I just said that because the guys are always giving me shit.” He bumped his knee against mine. “If it’s you, I want to know everything.”
I froze, my breath catching in my throat. I drew my legs up to my chest, resting my chin on my knees. It had been two years since Vegas, and we’d rarely been alone since we kissed that night. Still, each time he touched me, I felt like I was about to catch fire.
But he was the most important person in my life, and I couldn’t risk losing him. We constantly had eyes on us, voices whispering in our ears about public images. I didn’t want anyone to dissect our relationship, tearing it apart for their own pleasure.
“Now that I’m officially with a label, I thought it would get easier. And now I’m working with more people than just Lydia…and I think my publicist hates me. He says even with media training, I’m hopeless. For a while, my stylist tried to get me to tone down my hair. They want me to work with songwriters who could take me mainstream but would make me sound like a completely different person. I just never thought it would be so exhausting.” Months of frustrations flew out of me.
Lydia had been great, but I guess it was naive to think that once I got a deal, I could just write music instead of playing the game.
He laid his head on my shoulder, brown sun-streaked hair tickling my neck. “It looked so much easier from the outside. ButI’m happy you’re the same. I’ve always admired you for staying true to yourself. I wonder what things would be like if I’d told Martin not to turn us into a boyband.”
“Wes…I didn’t mean—”
“I know you didn’t. It’s not like I can change it, and we’re here now.”
We laid there looking up as stars shone overhead. In the distance, there were other boats lit up for parties, but they felt so far away, leaving us in our own little world.
I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep until a burst of giggling jerked me awake. It was still dark, but I had no idea what time it was. Wes was awake too, but he didn’t appear nearly as startled.
Soft music started, floating up to where we were laying on the upper deck. I stayed on my stomach and crawled forward so I could peer over the edge.
Below, Jared and Alyssa were dancing, the silk fabric of her shift dress rippling like water. It was free and light, nothing with any distinct choreography. He spun her around and around until he pulled her to his chest and they just swayed.
Wes and I stayed silent until they stopped the music and left for their room.
“It must be nice to be somebody like that to someone,” I said, breaking the silence. They were people with big plans, brimming with joy, and I wanted them to have it. But that didn’t stop me from also craving it for myself.
“You’re my somebody,” Wes said without hesitating.
