It would be easy to think she’s never soft. It takes a big heart to hold so much anger. A big heart that she’s constantly protecting.
“Tell me about these,” I say. I trace the black lines of her tattoos. Roses and wildflowers. Vines snaking between them. Most of them I know. Some of them, like the sprig of lavender on her calf, are new.
“You gave me the sun, so I planted a garden.” She plucks at the ring around my neck to change the subject, twirling it, so the ruby catches the dim warm light of the nightstand lamp. “You’ve had this for a while. I’ve always wondered where you got it.”
“I picked it up one day and knew I had to have it.”
She slips it over her ring finger. “It fits.”
Of course it does. That’s the whole point. But it’s supposed to go on her left hand, not her right.
“You could have it.” Casual? Yes. Absolutely nailing that.Here, have the wedding ring I bought for you over a fucking decade ago.
“I can’t. It’s yours.” She yawns, pulling her finger free. Her head falls against my chest. I wonder if she can hear how swiftly my heart is beating. If she cares that she’s the only one who does this to me.
Track Eleven
When it came to Wesley Hart, there were two camps of fans. The ones who wanted to have him for themselves, and the ones who swore he was destined to be with Avery after the Fools for You tour. You had people in online forums picking apart their body language during lunches or on stage when they performed together. His hand on the small of her back was cataclysmic.
Avery:After I joined them in Vegas, we toured for four months then I threw myself into recording and producingHard Wonindependently. I used my inheritance to fund it, since my initial record deal fell through. Lydia was there through all of it, taking on every role possible—manager, agent, publicist, you name it—and she figured out how to make it work.
Avery:I rarely saw Wes, but we talked every night on the phone. I was in New York by then while the guys were inNashville recording their sophomore album,Half a Memoryand they went on their second tour. I’d bump into them at industry events and when their tour brought them nearby. That was when the biggest shift was, we couldn’t walk down the street without being recognized.
You might love her music, but if you see her on the street, walk the other way. Since her arrival in Manhattan, multiple accounts of Avery Sloane (20) have described her as confrontational towards the fans who made her famous in the first place. This is most pronounced when she is with Wesley Hart (21), who is known for being gracious towards the public. (Article segment courtesy of Livewire Magazine)
Avery:It's not my fault people didn’t know how to respect boundaries. Being an entertainer doesn’t mean signing away your right to say no. People feel like they can touch you or follow you just because you decided to make art and then get offended when you tell them to fuck off.
The boys as a whole were desirable, but Wesley was handsome, and gave himself over to fame. He’d go out of his way to sign autographs or take pictures, far beyond what the others did. You could see things shift as the public started to feel more entitled to him. Not just fans, people in the industry too. Starlets would start dating rumors and executives wanted to poach him from Momentum. Then there was Madison Barron, who decided she wanted him romantically and professionally. Even with the ten-year age gap, people weren’t too surprised. She had a reputation for her hands-on approach.
A picture of Wesley and Maddison on the Grammys red carpet. Wesley wears a vintage style navy suit over a shirt with exaggerated lapels, which compliments Madison’s silver dress. Fool’s Gambit would go on to win Best Pop Duo/Group performance for the title track on their most recent album,Half a Memory. (Courtesy of Livewire Magazine)
Avery
Winter 2011 to Spring 2012
“Madison Square Garden and you’re done, right?” I asked one night on our usual call. We made a point to talk at night when Wes got home, it was always late, like one or two in the morning I hadn’t bothered to check—still, silent hours that felt entirely ours.
“Yeah, then we get a few weeks off before the European leg of the tour kicks off in four months,” he said, sounding exhausted. I knew they were working as hard as I was. I missed him all the time. Living in the city didn’t help, the guys were on billboards and magazine covers. There were subheadings that would askWhich band member would be your perfect match?that would set my blood to boiling.
I didn’t know how to feel about Wes. We were married.
I always felt like we belonged to each other, but this was different. I convinced myself that the distance was good, that it would be the best way to process how I was feeling and get over it. We were chasing dreams and didn’t need distractions. Still, at night on the phone, I’d close my eyes and pretend he was laying there with me as he talked.
“We should do something.”
“I’ll see you for the last show.” I shifted, bed springs from my cheap mattress pressing into my spine. I could afford better, but I was always terrified of my security being torn away. I wasn’t the easiest to work with, and even with a secure contract, I felt like it could go up in smoke all over again. The last thing I wanted was to crawl back to Ivy and Nolan. By then it had been two years since I ran away on my eighteenth birthday and I hadn’t heard from them since. It was better that way.
“I guess, but I wish we could do something without everyone watching us. Something just for us, all of us. Not a lunch that will turn into an out of context cover story. Either way, it’s been six months since we’ve done anything together. And now that I’ll have free time, I want to use it.”
“Would you bring Maddie?” I asked, hesitantly.
And then there was Maddie. His new manager turned girlfriend. Saying her name felt like I was trying to breathe fire for the first time and scorching my insides in the process. Even if I was starting to see Wes as something more, he didn’t see me that way. He was going for someone experienced and mature in her thirties, while he was the only boy I’d ever kissed.
“I want it to be like it used to. And she’s not really into that stuff anyway.” As usual, he sounded worn out. But maybe I was reading into things. What were the best practices when your guy best friend slash secret husband got a girlfriend? I didn’t want to overstep, when most of what I knew about their relationship was from tabloids. But I wasn’t sure how much was true, there were rumors about me and each of the guys too. All untrue, of course.
After months of planning and rescheduling I arrived at Lake Como in April, ready to hang out with Wes, but he wouldn’t get off the damn phone with Madison. And from the glances the guys were giving him from where they were standing next to me on the dock, I wasn’t the only one anxious for him to hang up so we could get on the yacht.
Wes paced, cell glued to his ear. “I’ve got to go. I don’t know if I’ll have reception.” He paused. “Yeah. I’ll miss you too.”
