Teddy shook his head and sighed. “I didn’t win.”
“Fighting again. It feels just like old times.” The joke fell flat, but if Stella tried to be serious she would break down all over again. “You deserve the win and you deserve the choice. A good queen will make all the difference in your life, but it will also be what’s best for the two kingdoms.”
Frustration surged through their connection. “Fuck the two kingdoms. What do you want?”
She tapped her chest. “I can live with this just like I have through this whole tournament, and you can too. What I could not live with is knowing you’re in a miserable political marriage with no one looking out for you.”
Teddy glanced back toward the sitting room and blew out a slow breath. “I know you’re probably eager to go home and rest, but I just wanted to ask you one last question.”
The bond swam with a nervous energy.
“Has your answer changed?”
Stella stilled, meeting his golden eyes. “What answer?”
He hesitated. “Do you really not want to be anyone’s queen? Even mine?”
Mine. Minyha. My heart. My greatest trial.The word was so accurate and so painful.
She loved Teddy, but, much as she’d wanted a fairy tale—and this would have been a neatly tied-up happily-ever-after—it was too soon to commit in that way, especially when committing meant leaving her family and her life behind. She’d learned the hard way not to simply slot herself into some man’s life. While she knew that Teddy didn’t just want a warm body—that he truly wantedher—there was no doubt that every choice he would have to make would put his kingdom before her. That was the role of a good king, and she’d learned enough to know that she couldn’t be a woman whose needs fit after everything else a king had to attend to.
Stella swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yes, I’m sure. I’m not cut out to be queen.”
He nodded and stepped away from her.
“I hope you find someone perfect for you,” she said softly.
She smiled at Teddy as he walked away, and it only hurt a little to wish him well. She meant it when she told him she was happy he won. She just didn’t know how to live with knowing what she had lost.
40
STELLA
Stella paced the Olney Castle sitting room, wringing her clammy hands.
The past two days had been a whirlwind that put the Gauntlet Games closing ceremony on hold. The rebels who had been captured were being held for questioning, but Isla and Evan were confident that they’d rooted out all but about thirty of the rebels. While it wouldn’t instantly solve the unrest in the two kingdoms, the mood in Olney City was already calmer.
The full-out rebellion had angered people who were sympathetic to the Sons of Endros’ cause because of the hunter lives lost, wounded spectators, and property damage it had caused to local businesses. Stella was relieved to see the people of Olney coming together to help each other rebuild.
Now that the most urgent matters had been dealt with, it was almost time to officially close the Games. Stella was uncertain how they would handle the favor since the tiebreaker hadn’t fully been decided. In a few short moments, Stella and the remaining competitors would find out how the gods would proceed.
Stella’s stomach tumbled at the thought. She suddenly wished she hadn’t sent her mother and Rosie away after they’d helped herget ready. Now she had nothing to distract her from her racing thoughts. It was taking every bit of her self-control not to accidentally send every confusing emotion directly through the bond to Teddy.
She crossed the sitting room to the table where refreshments had been set up, poured herself a whiskey, and knocked it back in one gulp. Immediately, she refilled the glass and drank down another. She was refilling the glass for a third time when a shadow fell over her.
“Slow down, sailor. You don’t handle your liquor well enough to keep that pace.”
Stella glanced up as Kate walked into the room. She froze mid-pour and turned to face her friend, blindly setting the bottle of whiskey back on the tray.
Kate looked beautiful in a sage-green silk dress that floated behind her as she walked. Her dark hair was twisted into an updo on top of her head, and her mouth was set in a determined frown.
Stella took a wary step toward her. “Kate, I’m?—”
“Nowthatis quite a dress. You really should wear red more often.” Kate crossed the room and gestured for Stella to spin.
She appeased her friend, doing one slow turn. The bright red scalloped layers of silk ruffled as she spun.
Kate whistled low. “I saw the final challenge, so I’m guessing this isn’t for Arden.”
