There was no saving herself from this. It was just another thing she would need to survive. It was so messy, like a sparring match where they were both bloodied, but neither of them was willing to surrender. She could see it in Teddy’s eyes; the silent confession, the game of chicken they were playing.I’ll pulverize your heart as you pulverize mine. I’m already devastated. May as well devastate you too.
Stella had felt bottomless for so long. No amount of love could fill her up. She wanted to be cherished, exalted, and convinced of her worthiness. But no matter how much her parents doted on her orhow Arden showed her affection, she still felt restless, certain there was something she was missing.
Until now.
Teddy hiked up her dress as she fumbled with the button on his waistband.
“Slow down, Stella,” he teased, popping the button open and freeing himself from his pants.
But Stella didn’t want to go slow. Her chest was tight, eyes burning. If she didn’t replace this hurt with something more intense, she would dissolve into a crying mess and that was not how she wanted to make peace with letting him go.
She shoved the top of her dress down, pushed her undergarments to the side, and sank down on him, watching his expression morph from surprise to agonized pleasure.
“Fuck,” he groaned.
She held his gaze as she started to move—slowly at first, then quickly gaining momentum. He hugged her close, pressing her chest against his, keeping her from moving too fast. He gripped her hips, forcing her to ride him the way he wanted, making certain she knew that if this was their last time, he wasn’t going to let her rush him.
Joy and lust soared through their bond. Teddy looked at her with awe and she’d never felt more beautiful or more broken.
He kissed her slowly, his lips trailing up her cheeks to kiss away tears. Gods, she was crying again. He tucked his face into her neck, murmuring soft praise that sounded something like a promise to make it better.
His hands gripped her hips, moving her faster, angling her for more friction. Stella held on tight, fingernails scoring his shoulders as the pleasure wound tighter and tighter inside her. Her toes cramped, but she refused to let go. Once it was over, she wouldn’t be able to do it again. Why had she ever wanted it to end when it felt so good?
Teddy met her movements with an intuitive rhythm that sent her gasping over the edge whether she wanted to or not. Then he moaned against her chest and shuddered, and they were left panting in the almost-dark cottage.
The connection in her chest buzzed pleasantly. If she didn’t win tomorrow, it would always be there. Perhaps over time Stella would become accustomed to the ache. The bond pulled taut across the miles between them. The random swells of his anxiety with no idea what was happening to him.
Maybe with him far away, this fever between them would cool and they could see each other once a year and not feel cleaved in half when they had to go their separate ways again.
Stella was furious at Goddess Desiree for messing with their lives like this. She had no regard for the pain she caused for the sake of making a point.
“What doesMinyhamean?” Stella whispered.
Teddy looked almost pained as he leaned his head back against the window and closed his eyes. “It’s hard to translate. It’s such an old word.”
“Then why use it?”
“Because it describes you perfectly.”
His lips tipped into a smirk and Stella knew he’d never tell her.
It was probably for the best. The sooner she forgot that nickname, the sooner she’d forget everything else and be able to move on with her life.
35
STELLA
Stella stared at the table of refreshments in the royal family tent. The small white linen tent was set up just behind the competitors’ tent and Stella needed the private space to mentally prepare herself.
Bees buzzed around the plate of fresh pink melon, and berries overflowed from bowls, spilling onto the white tablecloth in an array of reds, blues, and purples. The fresh-baked lemon cakes smelled sweet and citrusy, but her stomach was too twisted in knots of anxiety to enjoy any of it with the final challenge looming over her.
She’d left Teddy asleep in the cottage just before dawn. He’d looked so peaceful and she couldn’t bear to wake him, so she’d left like a thief in the faint dawn light and proceeded to spend the entire day chest-clenched, trying not to cry. Mercifully, her family was giving her space.
Stella reached for a lemonade, but the glass was slick with condensation and her hands were trembling so much that it immediately slipped from her grip. A delicate hand snapped up and caught it before it could shatter on the ground.
Stella looked up and met Juliana Savero’s hazel eyes.
“Easy,” the princess said, smiling warmly.
