It was irrational to think that people would be able to read it on her. Teddy had witnessed it, and it also seemed like he could read it on her face in moments when she went quiet.
But Arden had never killed someone, and he was oblivious to that feeling.
“You didn’t stop to see me and let me know you were okay,” Arden said, finally breaking the silence.
“That’s because I’m not okay.” Stella hadn’t realized until she said it aloud that it was true. She’d recovered from the initial shock of killing three men, but now she had a new revelation to contend with.
She felt awkward, like everyone could see her heart on display. Like she’d underestimated the very thing that she thought would deliver her the romance she wanted so badly.
Arden clearly had no idea what to say to that.
“You weren’t waiting for me when I returned. I almost drowned in a river. I almost bled out. I would have if it wasn’t for Teddy. I?—”
I killed someone for you.
She almost said the words, but they weren’t completely true. She had entered the contest for Arden, but she’d killed those men for Teddy—one of those things she’d never do again, and the other she’d do without hesitation.
It wasn’t worth explaining to Arden. She’d already given him too much of her time.
Arden cast his gaze down toward the floor, chastened by her words.
“I went through all of that while you were here courting Grace, safely tucked away behind your castle walls. I was gone and in danger and you didn’t even bother to change your social schedule?—”
“But I?—”
Stella stood and held up a hand to stop him. “I can only blame myself. I can see now how you have always shown me exactly who you are. I was the one who hung on to every crumb you gave me because I was so hungry to be loved by the man I thought you were—by the man you could someday be. But you aren’t that man now. I deserve better than a bouquet of flowers a day late and I deserve better than to waste my time listening to you make one more excuse as to why you couldn’t be there for me.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.” Arden looked so sincere, and perhaps he truly was, but it didn’t really matter.
“I’ve never needed you,” Stella said. “You never made yourself available enough for me to need you. You came here to clear your conscience, and you should consider it clean now, but I have another challenge to prepare for, so I hope you’ll see yourself out.”
He stared at her in mute shock, his gaze burning into her as if trying to recognize her as the same woman he’d wanted to court at the start of the tournament. He wouldn’t find that girl.
Mercifully, Arden didn’t argue. He stood and bowed to her.
“I’m sorry for your troubles,” he said. “I simply wanted to tell you that I spoke with Grace and we decided to go our separate ways and let the bond dissipate.”
He waited for her to react, but Stella truly didn’t care what he did. When Arden realized there was no anger or joy to cling to, he turned and left Stella standing in a triangle of sunlight.
Stella waited to feel regret, but she only felt relieved. She walked into the kitchen and found her mother sitting at the kitchen table, a vase of daisies prominently displayed in front of her.
“What are those?” Stella asked.
“Teddy left them for you. He stopped by when you were with Arden. I wasn’t thinking when I said who you were with.”
A bouquet of pale pink roses sat next to the daisies. Stella nodded at it. “And those?”
Cecilia touched the flowers tenderly. “Those were for me. He saw that memory of Xander’s and I think it made him see me in a new light.”
Stella felt the heaviness of her mother’s gaze. “What did he say?”
“He said, ‘Your daughter is very brave, and she saved my life and I can see now where she gets it from.’ He brought you the daisies as good luck for tomorrow.”
Stella pressed a hand to her heart. She couldn’t compose herself under her mother’s assessment, not that there was a point to trying. Part of her mother’s gift was to read emotions. Perhaps she could make sense of the chaos that Stella felt.
“You don’t have to know right now, Little Star. You’re very young. You have time to decide who you want to be and who you want to be with. You have always been in a rush. I know you want what I have, but remember, that was almost twenty years in the making. Your father and I had our hardships, and we took the long way home to each other. It would be okay to give yourself the gift of time, but you have to figure out what you want.”
Cecilia nodded toward the garden. “He only left a short time ago, and he seemed like he needed somewhere to think. I gave him the cottage key. I did a lot of thinking there myself back in the day. You could probably find him there.”
