“Don’t worry,” I tell her, guessing at what has her so nervous. “We’re the only ones here now. Everybody went out while I was making lunch.” I sort of told them to leave, but it didn’t take much convincing. They’re as uneasy about all of this as she is, though the reasons are different. My family knows she must carry a lot of doubt and suspicion and dread. They also know I’ll kill them if they ruin this for me.
“How did you know that’s what I was worried about?” She shakes her head, cutting off anything I might’ve said. “Never mind.”
“You can’t stay locked up in this room forever,” I tell her, moving toward the door. “We’ve got a big TV down there with a great sound system, and a huge sofa I’ve spent hours napping on.”
“I’m not sure. I…” She shifts her weight from one foot to the other, and I feel what she’s going through. I can almost hear her thoughts. Her questions.Can I trust him? Is this all atrick? Should I let him get closer to me?Torture. That’s the word for it. And I’m the reason why.
“I promise I won’t bite.” Holding my hands up, I add, “You can even pick the movie. Even a girly movie if you want, like comedies and romance and stuff like that. If that’s what you’re into.”
“I told you before, I don’t?—”
“You don’t have any preferences one way or another,” I conclude for her, and she nods. It’s so damn unfair. She doesn’t even have a favorite type of movie. There’s so much lost time to make up for, and not only between us. She has missed so much. And there I was, content to hate her and blame her and torment her for years. Like she wasn’t already being tormented enough.
It’s sort of a shot in the dark, but I blurt out, “How can you find out what you like if you don’t try? This is your chance to try. Come on, pick a movie, any movie.” Because I’m sure she was never given a choice before. I want her to know she can choose for herself.
Light flickers in her eyes before she nods a little. “Fine. Sure.” Not enthusiastic, but it’s something, anyway.
Once we get downstairs, it’s obvious she’s curious about her surroundings, but doesn’t want to be rude. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch her studying everything, taking it in. Her eyes almost bulge when she takes a look at the TV—and once I turn it on, she gets a look at all of the movies we’ve either downloaded or can stream from one of the platforms we subscribe to. “Just about anything you could ever want to watch,” I say, handing her the remote so she can scroll through. “Take your pick.”
“I could probably sit here and look through all day and never go through everything,” she decides with a shaky, soft laugh that lights up the room. “Are you sure I can choose anything I want?”
“Absolutely, go ahead.” I watch without saying another word as she lands on a movie made about ten years ago, one of those predictable comedies with a cute girl and a handsome guy falling in love in some charming little town. Not the kind of movie I would ever choose, in other words.
She slides an almost apologetic look my way from the corner of her eye. “Mom took me to see this when it came out,” she explains. “My first non-cartoon, non-superhero movie. I felt so grown-up.”
It’s very sweet, and I’m almost proud to be able to give her the chance to watch it again. “Let’s take a look,” I urge, settling down on the sofa, giving her a little room even though my wolf wants anything but. There’s no such thing as being close enough.
And unfortunately, there’s no such thing as relaxing with my wolf urging me on. I can’t pay attention to anything on the screen when her legs are so lean and smooth, when she twirls a golden strand of hair around one finger. Every once in a while, she smiles, and I wonder if she’s smiling at the movie, or at the memories it brings back. Maybe a little bit of both. I hope so.
Still, that does nothing for the urge to be close to her. “What are you doing?” she asks when I stand up once the restlessness is too much to fight.
“I need to shift.”
“Oh. Okay.” She gets up, most likely ready to disappear back into my room. “When are you coming back?”
“I’m not going out for a run.” How do I explain this in a way that won’t spook her? All I can do is be honest. “My wolf needs to be close to you.”
Her delicate brows draw together over an equally delicate nose. “What does that mean?”
“It means what I said. You don’t have to do anything,” I tell her, already stripping off my shirt, unbuttoning my jeans. “But I need to be near you as my wolf.”
She still looks worried, but lets out a shaky breath before nodding without a word. She sits back down. It’s not like I was waiting for permission, but having her acceptance means more than words can say. Letting go is a relief, letting the wolf take form once my clothes are off. It’s incredible, the way everything changes around me, even though I’m what’s changed.
I could already smell her before the shift, but now? The air is heavy with her addictive scent. There is no such thing as breathing deeply enough, inhaling enough of her. I can try though, and I do as I inch toward her. Slowly. I can’t spook her.
She is so beautiful. My wolf’s eyes see what my human eyes can’t. Flecks of gray and green in her blue depths, wide and shining as they study me. The fluttering of her pulse in her slim throat. Every single strand of hair floating around her angelic face. The fine hairs on her arms. She’s a feast, and I’m starving for every bite.
Finally, I’m standing at her side, near enough to touch. I watch as every muscle in her face twitches while she tries to decide what to do now. Will she run? Shove me away again? Curl up in a ball to protect herself, like I’m a threat?
Instead of any of that, she reaches out and runs a gentle hand over my fur. The contact is slight—I hardly feel it. Just a little stirring… until she does it again, and this time her hand is heavier. Her touch is more confident. Her fingers run through my fur and warm me all over. It’s bliss.
I look at the sofa, then at her.Can I?She hesitates, but not for long, nodding. I climb up, relieved and excited. She isn’t afraid. She knows this is right. She doesn’t even slide away when my head touches her thigh once I rest it on my paws.
For the first time all day, I’m truly content.
I only hope the feeling lasts.
Chapter 9
