“Anna, wait! Don’t do this,” he pleads. “You can’t do this. You can’t end our family.”
“No,” I snap. “You don’t get to tell me that.Youdid this. You ended our family the moment you started an affair.”
“I know, I know, Anna. But please listen to me. Let me come home, and we can talk about this.”
I don’t know if Icantalk to him tonight without completely losing my temper. I don’t know if we can have a productive conversation, not when I’m still reeling from the shock, the sadness, the betrayal, the fury.
I’m on an emotional rollercoaster, and I don’t know which way is up anymore.
“Please, Anna,” he says again, softer now. “Let me come home. Let’s talk. Please.”
I hesitate.
“Fine,” I admit angrily, through my tears. “But I’m not forgiving you, Kyle.”
He sighs heavily. He sounds so tired. “I’ll finish up what I’m working on and then I’ll head home, okay?”
I feel weary and beaten down, and it’s only 4:18. Despite my fatigue, I’m antsy, so I leave the bedroom and start straightening up the house. Maybe if I can keep my hands busy, I won’t go crazy turning over everything in my mind.
Once that chore is completed, I turn on another movie and throw a frozen pizza in the oven. Glancing at the clock, I see the time.
Where is he?I call his office line, but it goes to voicemail. Then I call his cell phone, but it also rolls to voicemail. I leave a message.
My mind alternates between anger and worry.
5:57.
6:13.
I call him on his office line again, but it rolls straight to his voicemail. I try his cell phone next, but it just rings and rings, so I leave him another voicemail. Then, I send him a text. It goes unread.
6:32.
7:08.
7:41.
Still no response from Kyle. I try calling him again. I leave another message.
My mind is spinning like a top out of control, turning faster and faster before the inevitable collapse.
Did he go to see his mistress one last time? Did he change his mind about coming home? Did he talk her into running away with him? Did he go somewhere to think and make his own decision before coming home to talk to me? Did he go somewhere to get drunk?
A sudden clap of thunder startles me.
The girls have fallen asleep on the couch. I thank my lucky stars that the raging storm outside didn’t wake them up. With care, I carry the girls to bed one at a time.
I make my way back downstairs, and I try calling Kyle again.
8:04.
I need to talk to someone. I gather my courage and call Laura.
She answers on the first ring with a chipper greeting. “Hey, girl.”
“Laura, I need you,” I croak, sniffling.
“What’s wrong, Anna?”
