“Gah, that’s even a sexy name!”
“I know, right?” I smile, wiggling my eyebrows. “Tall, muscular build. He had brown hair. Not too short, not too long. Just longenough that it curled a bit at the ends.” I pause, appreciating the vivid details of Hayes’ physical appearance that have taken root in my brain. “It’s going to sound hokey, but his eyes were mesmerizing. Dark blue, almost gray, with long lashes.”
With impatience, Laura winds her hand in a circle. “Get to the good stuff, Anna! Did he make you come?” Laura places her wineglass on the side table and shifts her body toward mine. Pulling her legs onto the couch, she claps in anticipation of hearing the nitty-gritty details.
“No beating around the bush from you!”
“The real question is… did he beat aroundyourbush?”
A laugh bursts out of me as I cover my mouth with my hand to muffle the raucous noise, because I don’t want to wake my daughters. “But to answer your first question, yes, I came several times. Last night… the impossible happened. I had no idea that sex could be that good, Laura, and each time just got better and better.”
“Girl! Maybe I need to hang out at Tank’s, too.Each time?Y’all had more than one round of hot and dirty sex?”
I twist my head to one side. “Uh, yeah. We had sex three times, and I came four times… might’ve been five times.” I’d forgotten about the time against the window. At that point in the night, my memory is a little foggy.
“You had sex three times last night?” She leans forward, with a look of pleased disbelief on her face.
“Well, do you count oral sex as separate from sex?” I ask, unsure of how sexual experiences are tabulated during a random hookup. “Because if so, the count is higher.”
Laura’s eyes pop open, and her smile elongates. “Damn, Anna!”
“What? Is that not normal for a one-night stand?” I ask, my voice rising in pitch. “I’ve never had one before! I don’t know what’s normal or not!”
Still grinning, Laura motions for me to calm down. “I mean, it’s not the norm, but there’s nothing wrong with it. Quite the opposite. It’s amazing that your first experience post-Kyle went so well. I’m shocked but thrilled for you. And a little jealous!”
I pause, admitting, “I was impressed with his refractory period.”
Laura chuckles. “You would be, my little nerd.” But then her smile slips.
I swirl my finger around her face. She’s wearing a pained expression. “Why you look like that now?”
“After hearing how good it was for you, I wish you’d gotten his number so you could do it again.”
Maybe in another lifetime, or if we’d met a decade earlier or a decade later, Hayes and I could have had a second or third date between us.
“I’m spread too thin to have any time or energy to devote to dating now.”
“Anna—”
I cut her off. “No, it’s too late, Laura. I have so much work I need to do to rebuild my life before I should start dating.”
The abrupt end of my marriage to Kyle upended my whole life, leaving me with a daunting list of things to accomplish—acclimate to being a single parent, find a job, sell the house, move into a smaller place, and figure out how to do life without a husband.
And that list doesn’t include the emotional, intangible tasks I need to work on, like grieving the loss of the life I thought I'd lead and learning how to trust again. Uncovering all the secrets Kyle had been keeping shattered me. It forced me to reevaluate our entire marriage, and it seriously screwed with my head.
“Have you given any more thought to therapy? After everything…”
“Yeah, I called and made an appointment today. I can’t deal with the mess Kyle left in his wake all on my own. I need to heal so I can move forward.”
Laura grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly. “I’m proud of you.”
Later, as I’m slipping into my bed that evening, I glance over at what used to be Kyle’s side of the bed.
We were so young when we married—he was 22 and I was only 20—and I became pregnant within months of our marriage. Grace was a colicky baby, my husband was rarely home, and our families were on opposite ends of the country. It was a stressful and isolating period.
Meanwhile, Kyle threw himself into his career. He worked for a record label, excelling in his role as a talent scout. He had an instinct for spotting new talent, and with his growing track record of successes, he quickly rose through the ranks. But as he strove to get ahead in his career, it felt like he left us, his family, behind.
With his hectic schedule, Kyle and I became like ships passing in the night. We shared a roof, but it felt like we lived parallel lives. Somewhere along the way, we simply lost sight of each other. We became complacent and stopped prioritizing our relationship. Growing up in a religious home, I took it for granted that marriage was forever, so I focused on motherhood, putting little work into my marriage. I thought we were fine. I thought we were happy. Happy enough, anyway.
