“I wish I could do that day over again, I—”
“I don’t.” She gave my shoulder a squeeze and pulled away, turning to stare at the ringmaster who strolled back into the spotlight. “I wouldn’t be who I am today without you, Pax—the goodandthe bad.”
“Does this mean you’ll give me a second chance?” I lifted my bottle of water and took a healthy swig.
She sighed. “Things are going to be complicated.”
“What do you mean?” I didn’t like the way she saidcomplicated.
“Kyle.” Rubbing her temples, she cringed. “We’re sort of dating.”
“Either you are, or you aren’t. Besides, you’re not married or engaged, so break it off.” Thinking of her and Kyle together sent a streak of jealousy through me.
“Pax…” She picked at a nail.
Jugglers, managing balls which were on fire, sprinted into the ring, throwing their fiery prizes to one another and managing impossible looking maneuvers.
“CC…” I didn’t know if I really wanted to hear what CC was going to say.
“Kyle is someone I know, he’s safe.” Pushing a few of her curls behind an ear, she gave me a sideways glance. “You’re someone Iusedto know, someone I think I’d like to get to know again, but you’re a risk.”
“A risk worth taking.” He gave me a crooked grin. “I promise.”
“There’s that proud, confident boy I’d first met.” She gave me a gentle shove.
“He never left.”
Cocking her head, CC peered at me, her gaze sharp. “Maybe, but you do seem different, Pax. More hesitant.”
Lana leaned a little closer, as if she was listening but trying to not be obvious.
CC’s observation wasn’t wrong. Ever since music school, I had become more cautious knowing my safety and security depended on her father and my good behavior. Even after graduation, that fear had never left because I knew one phone call from him could destroy the budding partnership Jay’s dad had been creating for the band.
It felt like she could see the loose pills I’d stuffed into my pocket. I could feel the temporary calm they’d created slowly dissipating, and an intense urge to swallow another one made my fingers twitch.
Instead of giving in to the temptation, I clutched CC’s hand. “I grew up and went through some shit.”
She nodded, chewing on the inside of her cheek.
“Do you love Kyle?” I asked, eager to turn the conversation back to us.
“What?” She scowled and raked me with a cold gaze.
“You heard me.” From the corner of my eye, Lana leaned closer, her focus now unashamedly on her sister and me.
“I…” Releasing my hand, she scratched her neck, then drank from her bottled water, finally capping it and giving me her full attention. “No. I don’t love him.”
“Then there’s nothing complicated about it. Take the risk with me and love, or take the safe route and be miserable.”
A loud laugh rang from her mouth and she slapped her thigh.
Acrobats tumbled onto the ground and two soared above, gracefully somersaulting in the air.
“Why’s that funny?” A wave of dizziness swirled in my head, and I inhaled a deep breath, trying to ignore it.
Fucking medicine has horrible side effects.
“I think you turned into Captain Hook.” Suddenly, she pivoted and fisted the collar of my shirt, yanking me against her to crash her mouth to mine, making me forget about the strange sensation in my brain and the heaviness in my limbs.
