I don’t know what about the word has him stopping, but he does pause, though he doesn’t look back.
“Just tell me why.Whywould you even consider making a deal? You’re a lot of things, Njáll, but I do not take you for a complete fool.”
“I…” Njáll is silent for so long that I think he’s not going to tell me at all. “I thought they could give me something I needed.”
“What?”
He shakes his head. His blond hair is in disarray, but I rather like the look of that, too.
What could it be? The fae can’t help with the clear doubts he has about being crai. Oh, I haven’t missed that. Neither have any of his chieftains. They’re more observant than I was expecting.
Did he want to fuck them? It’s what gancanagh are known for, distasteful and assumptive as that might seem, but he has plenty of choices out there. Even if he doesn’t want to risk things with another vampire, there are wolves and plenty of humans, surely, who would be happy to spend the night with him.
Unless—
“You wanted to feed.”
Njáll glances back at me, just once, but it’s sharp enough that I know I’m right.
“You want to feed from a fae?”
“No.”
“Then why…”
“I like the chase,” Njáll says, and his voice is choked, the desperation in it palpable. “I used to… We’re not supposed to… I had a donor who was willing to indulge me. We were careful. And it’s difficult now, to… To not.”
Something inside of me softens, just a little, and whether it’s because I know he’s telling the truth or because I know it pains him, it doesn’t matter.
“That’s against the clan’s rules, is it?”
“It’s in the treaty,” Njáll replies. He turns, just a little, and he’s scared of me, too. Scared that I’ll tell someone. Scared thatI’ll judge him for this. “We aren’t to hunt. We have registered, sanctioned donors, or we drink from blood bags supplied by other volunteers. Those are the options.”
“Makes sense,” I say, nodding. A city this large, a vampire population like this… Even without the occasional turn, things would soon get out of control. “So you used to hunt this donor.”
“It was never… I never hurt her,” Njáll says, emphatic. “And it was never—It was a game.”
“And now you can’t feed at all?”
“I can’t risk chasing a donor in this position. It was bad enough before, but I could cover for us. I could keep my district intact, even if it was handed over to another chieftain. If anyone found out now?”
“It would risk the treaty?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“When is the last time you fed?”
“I drank some in the bar.”
I move a little closer, secretly pleased when Njáll watches me warily but doesn’t move away. He’s peaky, eyes duller than I’d like, which could be down to being bewitched twice in one night. Yes, I haven’t helped, I suppose.
“You need more than that. More than you’ve been drinking.”
“Iknow. That’s what I’m saying—”
“Feed from me.”
The words are out before I can stop them, a consequence of my worst impulses. I recoil as much as Njáll does. I don’twantto be chased. I don’t want his teeth in me. I don’t want to know that he—that I—
