9
Lillian
Her heart was pounding as she made her way up the stairs, fighting not to stumble. How can Jade have such an effect on her? Lillian pressed her lips together as she pushed through the doors on the floor where her office was located. She hurried down the hall, avoiding eye contact with anyone. Her voice would not have worked even if she had tried. Once she made it to the other side of her door, she collapsed into her chair. Exhausted, she checked her computer, anything to distract her from her racing thoughts.
It almost felt like Jade had ambushed her, but she couldn’t deny her part in all of it. Yes, Jade had kissed her, but the appropriate reaction would have been to pull away, to put distance between them, instead she had fallen into that kiss with passion and fervor that had matched Jade’s. She had to occupy herself with something, anything.
She pulled up her note-taking software and began to detail the operation, each cut she had made, each suture, what tools and supplies she had used. She added it all to the shared patientfile, checking for any updates. Hannah was still in recovery, and now it was just a waiting game to see if she woke up. Her thoughts trailed to Jasmine, the little girl whose adoption had just become final, now she was looking at two parents both recovering from major surgery. Somehow, she knew they would be alright though.
She glanced through the files again, looking for information on the little girl. She had been picked up this morning by Stephanie’s sister who had agreed to watch her until they woke up and were cleared to go home. Lillian breathed a sigh of relief, at least the girl was being cared for by someone she knew instead of child services. Lillian didn’t have anything against them, of course, but she was sure Jasmine would be more comfortable with someone she knew. Glancing at the charts again, she saw that Dr. Noble had contacted them and kept them apprised of the situation.
She turned her attention to the other patients, checking each file for anything she may have missed. She also had a couple of inquiries from the interns, asking about the surgeries they had observed. She answered each one to the best of her ability. Her eyes grew heavy as she went through her inbox, and as sleep deprivation assaulted her, her mind drifted back to Jade.
Heat flooded her as she pictured Jade in her mind. She needed to do something about this situation that was quickly spiraling out of her control. She needed to suck it up and call Jade into her office and hash out whatever was going on. She needed to end it. The thought set her skin prickling. She wasn’t sure she wanted to end it. As difficult as it was to admit, even to herself, she enjoyed being around Jade. Jade was an excellent doctor and surgeon; she was an even better Chief of Medicine. She was smart, funny, and incredibly tuned in to what her doctors and staff needed at any given time. Lillian admitted that it was because of Jade that this hospital ran as well as it did.
Would it be so wrong to want a relationship with her? Lillian shuddered at the thought. Jade had already seen her vulnerable enough, Lillian couldn’t afford to open herself any further. She knew what she needed to do, so why was it so hard to do it? She pressed her lips together and pulled out her phone. She had to; she had to end this before it spiraled any further out of her control. She opened the app to send a page for Jade when her door opened and Jade was standing there.
Lillian blinked in confusion a couple of times staring at the woman in front of her, but Jade’s eyes were clouded, something was wrong.
“We need you, Doctor Holder,” Jade said quickly, the lines on her face deepened with worry.
“What is it?” Lillian asked as she stood up and grabbed her lab coat. She followed Jade as she walked quickly down the hallway toward the stairwell.
“Elizabeth Rourke,” Jade said, her voice catching. “She’s collapsed and unresponsive.”
The world felt like it folded in around Lillian, and she picked up the pace. Dr. Elizabeth Rourke was the Chief of Medicine who recommended Jade for the position when she stepped down. She had also recommended Lillian for her position as well. She had sat in on the board ever since her retirement, which had been a surprise to everyone, as she had only just passed her sixtieth birthday and everyone had believed that she would be a doctor until they forced her out.
Dr. Rourke had been Chief when Lillian was a resident, and she had kept Lillian afloat as she dealt with her mother’s death. Lillian had wanted to quit at one point, and thought she was going to have to. There was so much work to catch up on, and everything had become so completely overwhelming that she had to be hospitalized for a short time. Dr. Rourke was the only one to see her during that time, other than the doctors whowere treating her. She would sit with Lillian for hours on end, reminding her that she was an amazing doctor, telling her that this wasn’t the end and that she would recover. She allowed her time and space to do that without punishing her for missing time during her residency.
“Do we know why?” Lillian asked, her throat tight.
“No,” Jade said as they pushed through the doors in the emergency room. Paramedics were bringing Elizabeth in through the ambulance bay as they rushed toward her.
“Sixty-two-year-old female. She was outside picking up debris from her yard when she collapsed. Her daughter called it in; she’s coming in behind us. Heart rate and blood pressure are stable, but there’s no response to stimuli,” the paramedic reported as she handed off Dr. Rourke to the hospital staff.
“How long?” Lillian asked.
“The call came in at 14:46, the daughter saw the patient fall.”
Lillian checked her watch, that was almost twenty minutes ago.
“Get her to CT immediately,” Jade ordered as the paramedics moved her from the gurney to a hospital bed.
“Go with them,” Jade said to Lillian. “I would stake my life on it that we’re looking at an aneurysm. I just hope it hasn’t ruptured.”
It felt like ice water had been dumped into Lillian’s veins. This woman was a hero in this hospital, everyone had been thrilled for her but sad when she announced her retirement. She deserved all of the good things life had to offer; it was not right that it could all be taken from her now. Elizabeth Rourke had dedicated her life to medicine, and even in her retirement, she worked with non-profits, and the medical board, to make sure that everyone, no matter who they are or what they do, had access to medical care. She couldn’t just be taken away like this.
Lillian nodded quickly and followed the gurney down the hall toward radiation. The world seemed to be moving around her in a blur. She watched as the staff prepared her and ran her through the machine, and her heart sank as the images showed up on the screens. She could see it from where she was standing, a massive aneurysm sitting just in the middle of her brain. It hadn’t ruptured, which was good news, maybe. It meant that it would be up to Lillian to save her life.
“Get her prepped for surgery, OR two, and for God’s sake be careful,” Lillian snapped as soon as the radiologist turned to her. “Get those images down to the OR, now.” She rushed out of the room to prepare before anyone had a chance to speak.
Jade was waiting in the hallway as Lillian came out of the radiology department. Lillian looked at her and just nodded.
“Can you… can you fix it?” Jade asked, the same fear in Lillian’s eyes mirrored in her own.
“I can try,” Lillian said, almost a whisper. “It’s bad.” Lillian nodded her head trying to keep her emotions in check.
“You can do this,” Jade said. “The whole hospital is pulling for you.”
