But she didn’t stop. She wouldn’t stop. Faintly, he heard Idabel’s voice over the din of memory in his ears. “Stay here with me. Come back to me, and all will be well. Don’t leave me again.”
That plea did him in. He sagged in the guards’ hold, breathing hard.
“Apologies to the Council,” he managed to choke out. “I may be wall-sick, but I speak the truth about Tomin.”
The Zenith and the Council conferred in low whispers. Finally, the eldest spoke in his rasping, quavery voice: “We’ve reviewed the evidence. It supports Commander Brandt’s account. We believe Tomin received and suppressed intelligence about the nature of the enemy. He also extorted the mind-masons to harm their patient, and that is a grievous insult to the Tower and what we’ve built here.”
Brandt yanked his wings out of the grip of the guards, who took a step back, keeping a wary eye on him. He reached for Idabel and folded her in his arms so she’d know how grateful he was for her. How glad he was to share this moment with her. It was finally happening. Tomin was going to face justice.
“However,” the Zenith continued, “he did not break the heartstone vow. The protection of humans was achieved, even if through dishonorable means.” He fixed Tomin with an icy gray stare. “You are stripped of tier and rank. You will be escorted from the Tower. But no further punishment will be given.”
“He should forfeit his wings!” Brandt blurted out, astonished by the light sentence. Idabel squeezed his hands, and he could feel her worry that he was going to lose control again. It was his turn to send soothing thoughts, which ironically made him calmer himself.
“The Council has spoken,” the Zenith said sternly, frowning at the outburst. “Their decision is final.”
“It might be just, but it’s not right,” Brandt muttered as the same guards who’d pinned him down now escorted Tomin to the balcony.
Tomin bared his teeth at him as he passed. “I regret nothing. I saved lives.”
“And you took many more. I hope it eats you from the inside,” Brandt said quietly. He was certainly familiar with how the gnaw of guilt was a life sentence.
He carried Idabel home in silence, both of them reflecting on the hollow victory. He didn’t care about the humiliating scene on the floor with the guards. At this point, he was just glad to have his mate in his arms. Tael-Nost could deal with Tomin. It wasn’t until he landed on the balcony that Brandt finally noticed the blood. Four scratches on Idabel’s arm where he’d slashed her during his rage pinked the edges of her torn sleeve.
“No,” he breathed, horror flooding through him. After all the accusations he’d thrown at Tomin,hewas the one hurting humans.Hewas the one who broke the heartstone vow. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t want you getting in more trouble. You’ve already paid too much for what was lost during the war. Anyway, it’s nothing a stitch and a salve won’t fix,” Idabel said staunchly, heading for her cabinet of supplies.
“Let me tend you so they don’t scar,” he begged. His saliva would help her wounds close cleanly if he treated them quickly enough. He couldn’t stand to see his marks on her forever.
She turned toward him, mouth twisted in a bitter smile as she rolled up her sleeve. The scratches looked worse like this, dark lines carved into her thin skin. “You wear scars for the ones you lost. You even wear one for me. Why shouldn’t I?” She traced them in a macabre count. “One for my parents I couldn’t heal, one for my siblings I couldn’t protect. One for the gargoyles I betrayed, and one for the mate I threw away.”
He wouldn’t let her do this. He wouldn’t let her use his mistake to count her sins on her flesh. Waving aside her protests, he picked her up and took her to their nest. Laying her in the soft furs, he positioned her so his tongue could find her wounds.
“You’ve done your penance, Idabel. Six years of paying for our losses, and it wasn’t even truly your fault. I forgive you.” He met her eyes as he licked up her arm. The sweet, metallic tang of her blood was oddly comforting. It tasted like their bond. “I forgive you completely. You need only to forgive yourself.”
Tears tracked down her face as she watched him clean her wounds, the edges of them already silvering as they knit together.
“We’ve both paid enough.” He pulled her close, careful of his claws. “No more penance. No more guilt. No more scars.”
Chapter 35
Idabel
“Let me tendyounow,” she begged, humbled by his attention. She was still in awe of his bravery in the Zenith’s offices, how he convinced the Council act against Tomin and fought his injured mind to stay in control. “Lie back.”
He humored her, and his indulgent smile pulled and puckered the scar across his cheek. She wished she could erase his as easily as he had erased hers. She wished she could scrub each scar away with her bucket and rag, reverse the pain and traumathat had caused them. The best she could do was salve them, and she always kept some handy in her healing kit.
The waxy salve warmed between her palms as she worked it into Brandt’s hide, paying special attention to each mark. She already knew many of them by touch. The ragged one in his side where the poisoned blade caught him. The one on his shoulder from a goblin spear that nearly severed his wing. The one across his chest that he’d carved for her. Each one, old and new, she touched and tended with the same care he’d given her arm.
“Turn over for me?” When he complied and turned to his belly, her thumbs found the tight cords of muscle at the base of his skull, pressing in slow, firm circles. A rough sigh escaped him, and his great, gray wings relaxed into the furs with a soft rustle, exposing the landscape of his back.
She trailed her fingers over the ridges and valleys formed by the layers of scars that crisscrossed his broad torso. It was a map of his survival. She smoothed the salve over a long, raised welt that crossed his shoulder blade, her hands worshiping the proof of his strength, his sacrifice.
“You have carried so much,” she whispered, leaning forward to press her lips to a particularly nasty nick near his spine.
“If you treat me so well, I might have to collect more scars for you to tend,” Brandt murmured, his eyes half-closed with pleasure.
“Don’t you dare! I am busy enough.” Her playful indignance earned her a chuckle that shook his whole body.
