“Wait until I deploy to report it. The Nadir might investigate, but there will be no trouble if they find that you’re my mate.”
She picked up her fallen chemise, smoothing the fabric and fussing with the sleeves to buy time to think. It was absurd to consider becoming a gargoyle’s mate. Less absurd to be Brandt’s mate though. He was everything she could want in a husband: good-hearted and strong, intelligent and faithful. He would provide for her even while he was gone. It was impulsive and risky and unheard of to mate with him, but not foolhardy.
And he was right…the bite could serve two purposes. “I can’t believe I’m considering it.”
“I can hardly believe I offered,” he admitted with a rueful laugh. “But it’s true. You are the only female I want in this way, human or otherwise. I would have you as my mate, if you’ll have me.”
The impossibility of it crashed over her in waves. A gargoyle commander wanting to mate with a mere human. A creature who could live for two centuries binding himself to someone with hardly more than a mayfly’s lifespan. Itwasabsurd. It waswonderful. It was terrifying. And he was leaving the decision toher.
“I’d be honored,” she choked out. “I don’t know why you would be so generous, but I hope I will prove worthy.”
Brandt cupped her face in his hands, tipping her head to meet his gaze. “You have nothing to prove. And I confess it is not generous at all. It is for my own peace of mind. The mating bite will connect us while I am gone. Through the bond, you will be able to feel whether I am alive or dead, no matter how far apart we are. And I will be able to find you, wherever you go.” His thumbs brushed tenderly over her cheekbones. “I’m not sure how long I will be gone, and I want to be able to find you if you leave Solvantis in my absence. It will be many moons. Six at least. Two years at the most. Can you wait for me so long?”
She nodded, heart in her throat. “I will. And I won’t waste the luxuries you’re bestowing, either. I’ll work hard so you’re proud of me when you return.”
His lips parted, and he shook his head wordlessly.
“What?”
“A safe place to sleep is no luxury, human.” He sounded angry. For a second, she was worried she’d offended him, but he lifted her and arranged her on his lap so that her back was pressed against his chest, his arms encircling her waist. She could feel the rapid beat of his heart against her shoulder blade as he buried his face in the back of her hair. Against her neck, he murmured, “You have nothing to earn or repay or prove. I am yours as much as you are mine. Don’t forget that, no matter what anyone says.”
She nodded, eyes welling so much that they dripped down onto her thighs. Sighing, he scraped his teeth down her neck and along her shoulder. “Say it aloud, Idabel.”
“I am yours as much as you are mine,” she whispered, not quite believing it still.
“This will hurt,” he warned, his breath hot against her neck. “But only for a moment.”
“I trust you.”
With a snarl of wild hunger, his lips brushed the sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulder. She felt the sharp prick of his teeth testing her skin, and then they sank deep. White-hot pain blazed through her nerve endings.
A cry escaped her, but the pain was already transforming into something else—a cool, soothing sensation that spread outward from the bite. She felt something foreign moving through her blood, lighting her up from the inside, brighter and brighter until it exploded inside her mind, shaking her as deeply as the orgasms he’d so deftly delivered.
Suddenly, Brandt was there in her head. She could feel him from the inside, not just a physical presence but an emotional one. His fierce protectiveness, his desperate need, his bone-deep satisfaction at finally claiming her as his own. If she’d needed any proof that he meant what he’d said, she had it now.
“Can you feel me?” she asked wonderingly, marveling at the golden thread of connection that seemed to bind them together. She pushed her own feelings back at him, her respect and amazement, her desire for him, her worry for his safety. The tiny seedlings of love that had already sprouted. Her fear for the future.
“Yes.Yes.You’re as beautiful inside as out, like a whole sky full of stars. But please don’t be afraid. All will be well. I take care of what’s mine, and you’re mine now,” he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. He licked over his bite, soothing the sting that was already fading. “Mine forever.”
“I feel you, too,” she whispered, her fears fading as she soaked him up. “Your happiness is so strong, it makes me dizzy.”
He laughed, and she felt the sound vibrate through both his chest and their newfound bond. “I have never been so happy,” headmitted. “Even knowing I must leave you soon. Right now, in this moment, I am perfectly content.”
Idabel turned in his arms to face him, studying the familiar harsh planes of his face with fresh eyes as she explored their bond. There were layers to him she had never suspected. She knew of his sense of duty and his fierce pride, but she didn’t realize those were underpinned by a deep loneliness. Nor could she have guessed at the desire for her so profound it took her breath away.
“How long have you felt this way about me?” she asked, reeling.
“Since the first night, I think. When I destroyed your garden.” Shame flooded through the bond. “I hated myself for causing you pain, even though I was just doing my duty. I told myself the guilt was merely my guardian instinct to protect you, but...” He shrugged. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
“I was so angry with you,” she confessed. “But you didn’t report me to the Nadir. You protected me even when I tried to punish you. You shielded me when your own body when I was attacked. I owe you my life…or my hands at the least.”
“Someday I will give you a garden.” He held her gaze for a long beat, and she could feel the depth of his promise. It was impossible, but he would do it, somehow. She believed him.
“I have to go. Betje will be worried,” she said reluctantly, slipping the chemise over her head. He released her so the fabric could fall, covering her. “Can we meet again before you deploy?”
“I don’t know. It’s likely we’ll deploy tomorrow, but I’ll try to find a way to meet you before we leave. If not…promise me you’ll be careful while I’m gone. No more thieving or schemes with war-bat fur. I need to know you’re safe.”
The memory of her deception felt sour now, tainted by the knowledge of how much pain it could have caused both him andthe young gargoyle who had nearly attacked her. “I promise. No more schemes.”
