“I hoped you will use them to paint a picture of us, so we can have this moment forever.” His voice is low, just for me, and I remember that this is how their joining ceremonies are. The words exchanged aren’t for the crowd. They are just for the couple. Just for us.
“I love that idea.”
“Be patient with me.” He takes a deep, cleansing breath that I can feel in my bones. “I’ve spent my life trying to do what was right, even when it was difficult. In my youth, I thought I succeeded in this. But as I have aged, I have had less and less confidence that my actions had meaning. I have often wonderedif any of it mattered. If it was important or made a difference. If there was any purpose to my life at all.
“It wasn't until I met you that I realized all of it had a purpose. Every harsh blow I dealt. Every harm I caused, intentionally or unintentionally. Because every action, every mistake, every duty fulfilled, every moment of self-doubt... it made me who I am. It made me the male who met you. And I realize now that all that duty was not to my father. It was not to the Five Planets. It was to you. Only to you. You are the light that brings me life.
“I survived so I could become strong for you. So I could protect you. So I could make the universe a better place for you. So I coulddeserveyou. This work will never be done, but I ask you anyway, will you take my crown? Will you rule beside me as my queen until our ghosts meet the goddess?”
Tears are pouring down my face, and in my peripheral vision, I see my yellow flowers quivering as my hand shakes with emotion. “Of course I will. You are one of the best people I've ever met, and I see you growing every day, pushing yourself to be even better. I never thought I’d have someone like you in my corner. Someone who would fightforme andwithme. Someone who’s as stubborn as I am.”
He laughs, flashing blue, and I can hear some of the spectators murmuring when his pigment shows.
“I'm lucky to be your queen, Nik. And I'll gladly take your crown.”
“I have it here.” He pulls something from his pocket. I don't know what I expect to come out, but it's not the small bottle of lavender paint and a paintbrush. He holds them up. “I made these from the stones I stole from you. I thought they'd serve as a crown, if you trust me to paint a straight line. You are marrying my planet as well as me, and I know neither of us will be easy husbands.”
That makes me smile. “I love you. Both of you.”
He opens the tiny bottle and gingerly brushes a thin line across my forehead. It's cold, but as soon as it’s complete, it heats up. Way up. The paint sears into my forehead, forcing my eyes shut. I clench my jaw against the pain, but it's so much that it bows my back and Nik has to hold me up. Just when I'm not sure I can take it much longer, a delicious warmth shimmers over me, starting at the line on my forehead and moving downward to touch every part of me.
And then all the pain vanishes, and all I feel is joy. My joy is reflected in Nik's face, and the goddess’s joy is bursting through me like a hundred comets. I looked down at my hands that are steady now, and see they are swirling with color, blue and green and lavender twining together against the canvas of my brown human skin. I look like a piece of art.
Nik runs his finger over the line in my forehead and I see it hit him. He has a fated queen. He's worthy in the eyes of the goddess. All of the difficult choices he had to make were necessary and worthwhile so he could become the person he wants to be. Just like I had to get abducted and dragged across the galaxy to realize that I don’t have to do everything alone.
We join hands and turn to face the crowds and the comm screens, soaking up the approval of everyone who came to celebrate us. Then Nik gives a signal and scoops me up in his arms. I watch as all the apprentices scurry to make space for us to exit. I spot Tamira laughing as I try and wave goodbye to her, but I guess she understands why I can't stop to chat.
My king and I spend the rest of the day in the furs, trading orgasms and stories and compliments and promises. The Alara crown grants some special privileges when it comes to orgasms, multiplying them by a huge factor, and Nik takes full advantage, rendering me unable to walk with a few flicks of his tongue. I can’t believe this is really happening to me.
Our time is giddy and indulgent and the perfect little honeymoon, even though it only lasts one night.
Chapter 32
Nik
Iwish we could stay in bed longer. I wish I had weeks to map her body and practice pleasing her. But we are Jara and Alara of this planet, and we have responsibilities to tend before we can tend each other. Plus, I think my cock is sore.
“You have defeated me,” I tell Delphie, grinning.
“I'll take my prize in nomo.” She yawns and stretches, wriggling her tiny toes in the furs. Her feet fascinate me still, but I don't have time to explore them. There’s too much to do.
I get up and dress, surprised that my pain levels are lower than usual. My skin aches, but not as much as I’d expect given the high emotion from our joining. My channels must be healing now that I am following the healer’s protocols and allowing more of my colors to show.
“I won't see you much today,” I confess as I tie my sveli shut. “I promise you lastmeal, though, and a training session afterward. And once this business with the Eye is done...”
“I know,” Delphi says softly. “The world is too big to ignore. It's all right. Go. I need to practice with my knives anyway.”
“Keep your sveli on this time,” I growl at her. I'm only half joking, but she laughs as though it's all good humor, and it should be. A practice knife near my artery taught me what a blind spot jealousy can be. On the way out, I warn Aqen not to let any harm come to her during training or I’ll put him onpermanent pit-sweeping duty, order him to fetch her firstmeal and anything else she wants, and then throw myself into my daily tasks.
I work with Gemeri and Cidro on the details of the exchange. I wish I could alert my brothers that their mothers are alive and near rescue, but I can’t risk tipping off Zomah if he’s still spying on my comm channels. It will have to wait until they are safe. So we make plans and then backup plans, and backup plans for the backup plans. I have no idea what condition my mother and other concubines will be in, so I ask Cidro to examine them all when we bring them inside.
“Anticipate they’ll all need some kind of medical attention,” I tell him. “It may be battle injuries, it may be malnutrition, it may be injuries of the mind.”
He nods, taking notes on his comm. “And the shadowcloaks?”
“What about them?”
“Should I treat their injured?”
