He returns very late, when I’m already half-asleep until six layers of furs. I hear him showering, and then the furs shift when he slips into bed with me. He keeps a careful distance and a few layers between us, but my skin prickles with awareness he’s right there, inches away.
“I hope I didn’t wake you,” he says quietly. “The warriors’ quarters are still occupied by displaced miners, and I wanted to give Aqen a break from guard duty, so staying here seemed logical.”
Right. Logical. Not spiritually fated by a goddess. I exhale and roll over to face him. “I wasn’t asleep yet. How’d it go today?”
“Poorly.”
I prop up on my elbow even though I can’t see him in the pitch dark. “What happened? Did more people get hurt?”
“No. Those with the worst injuries have been transported and the rest are recovering or working to repair the tunnels. My negotiations with the Eye were...unsuccessful. Zomah did not confirm or deny he’s holding the concubines, though from his reactions, I am certain he has them. But he rejected my offer.”
My heart sinks a little. “He wants more?”
Nik huffs out a breath. “Ironically, he thought I was too generous. He suspected a trap and ended the comm.”
“Shit.”
“Yes.”
“You could comm and offer him less?”
He grunts, which is probably as close as I’m going to get to a laugh at my joke. “Even then, he suspects my motives. Why would I trade power and land for a few females? It doesn’t make sense to him.”
“Misogynists gonna misogyny, I guess.”
“One would think that priests devoted to a goddess would value females,” Nik muses.
“That’s what I always say!” I nearly screech. “Sorry, that was loud. I just don’t understand how a goddess cult ended up led by a bunch of dudes who hate women.”
“In the old times, it was mothers who were the spiritual leaders on Irra.”
“I can get behind that.” My own mother was a complete badass. Lieutenant Colonel in the Army, fifth-dan black belt in judo. She had a degree in mechanical engineering, but I remember her as an artist. When she wasn’t deployed, she turned our base-housing dining room into an art studio.
“We can eat dinner on the porch,” she’d say to my dad whenever he suggested we clean it up, and he’d laugh, lean against the wall to eat his sandwich, and watch us paint. She let my brothers build rockets and set up elaborate obstacle courses all over the house, too.
She never saw the things we made as a mess. She knew what was important in life. That’s probably why she was willing to give her life for a cause.
I wish I could see her again. I hope Nik gets to see his mom.
“You should try again, but give Zomah a worse reason for wanting your mom back.”
“Such as?”
“I don’t know. Maybe your mom is just the bonus, and you really want the other moms so you can use them to control your brothers.”
I’m drifting off to sleep again when Nik groans softly as he changes position. “What is it?”
“Nothing.” I can hear the pain in his voice.
“You’re a shitty liar. Do you need a massage?”
“I didn’t want to trouble the healers,” he admits. “They have too much on their shoulders right now.”
“You have too much on yours, too,” I scold. “Take off your sveli and I’ll do your back.”
“It’s already off.”
Why does the knowledge that Nik is half-naked in my bed make my whole body come to attention. My nipples are like bullets under my fur-lined, four-armed tunic. I shift to my knees, yawning, and feel my way to him. His skin is hot and lightly textured under my fingertips. “I don’t know how you go around shirtless. It’s freezing.”
