I get an impulsive idea that’s one part angel and two parts devil. “Come with me to Olethia. Just while your arm heals. You can see Fen.”
And bonus, it’ll piss Nik off a little bit.Boy, you can’t call me like a dog and think you’re getting away with it just because I come with a smile. He might be able to kick me off his planet, but he didn’t say I can’t take Aqen with me.
Aqen isn’t jumping at the chance, though. He looks...conflicted. I get it. “No pressure, friend. Have you read his letter yet?”
He shakes his head. “It still doesn’t feel real. All this time apart, and I thought he didn’t want to know me. Hearing that he does? It’s...”
“Complicated,” I finish for him. Family stuff is always complicated, and his situation is more complicated than most. I pat him on the good shoulder. “Take your time. The scroll will be there when you’re ready.”
Since I only have a few more hours on this planet, I throw all my energy into helping the healers treat the injured. I salve burns and disinfect cuts and massage pigment out of muscles the way that Cidro shows me. I joke and flatter and do everything in my power to cheer up these poor guys who are lonely, hurt, and afraid. And I try and hook them up with their friends and family, so they aren’t isolated as they process their experience.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay and work for me?” Cidro jokes when I tell him I need to go pack for Olethia. He looks as exhausted as I feel.
“Wish I could, but the king says I gotta go, so I gotta go.”
He nods wearily. “If you can convince him to let you stay, we can use you. Look at how many of the warriors are laughing, how they’re letting their pigments run. You might not realize it, but they aren’t usually this free. It’s trained out of them. I always have to remind the young ones to drop their camouflage when they’re not fighting. They look at the older warriors and admire their still skin, but our pigment system evolved to protect us from predators, not hide our emotions. It causes a lot of problems to mask for more than a few minutes at a time.”
My stomach cramps, thinking of how perfectly camouflaged Nik always is. Does heeverlet his emotions show? “What kind of problems?” I ask carefully, trying not to sound too curious.
“Pain,” Cidro says absently. “Pigment crystallizes in the camouflage channels if it’s present too long and has to be broken up manually to reveal the emotive channels beneath them. It’s not pleasant, but if the crystals are allowed to remain, they can cause internal wounds. That is why we always massagethe warriors after their bouts. If they control their emotions too drastically, eventually their emotive channels collapse and harden and become unusable. Then, every emotion causes pain as well, because the pigment has nowhere to go. Only a few cases are so severe, though. It takes a lifetime of abuse to get that bad.”
My belly clenches again. Somehow, I know that he’s describing Nik the dick. At least that explains why he’s so grumpy all the time. And why he was getting a massage the first day we got here instead of looking for Lena. He wassuffering.
Goddamn it. I don’t want to care.
“Philadelphia, we must go,” Aqen says, an impatient edge creeping into his voice. It’s the second time he’s reminded me, I realize. I was so caught up in my sympathy for Nik that I wasn’t paying attention.
“Call me Delphie,” I remind him after I say goodbye to Cidro and a small group of wounded warriors.
“Jara asked me not to. Only he is to call you that,” he says quietly.
I have to roll my eyes. I can forgive Nik a grumpy attitude now that I know he’s in pain, but I don’t have to excuse all his bossy, controlling bullshit. Look at all these people in the pits, suffering with injuries ranging from ouch to almost-dead, and none of them are as dickish as he is. “Well, it’s my name, and I say you can use it.”
“Okay,” Aqen says, chuckling, but he doesn’t use it, and I bet he won’t ever use it. Not unless Nik tells him he can.Kings.
The passageways are clogged with sleeping Irrans pretty much all the way up to my room. I recognize the right fork before Aqen points it out, which makes me unreasonably proud. Maybe Icanlearn my way around this place. I only got turned around a couple of times when I went from my room to the pits to help out the healers. Maybe I just needed to do it myself to be able to remember the route.
My belly cramps again, this time for no reason. No, wait...damn it. There’s a telltale warm wetness between my thighs that lets me know my period has shown up early. I guess that’s why I’ve been a little extra salty and emotional the last couple days.
Shit. It’s going to besooomuch fun to have my period in space. Can’t wait to be stuck in a transport ship the size of a motel room, sharing a tiny bathroom with a bunch of alien dudes who have no idea about human biology! At least I have the fancy, period-proof undies the Xaszians made for all of us humans so I don’t have to worry about cleanup or supplies.
Aqen waits outside my room while I go in to get my trunks ready to go. I guess the bright side is that I haven’t had much time to settle in, so there’s not a lot of work to do. In the dim half-glow of the generator-powered wall sconce, I dump the already-worn svelis in with everything else to sort out when I get back to Olethia and grab my toiletries from the tiny bathroom. There. Packed.
I turn to make the bed before I go. You don’t grow up in a military family without developing an obsessive bed-making habit. But Ican’tmake it, because there’s a goddamn alien king asleep in it!
Nik is lying on his side in the furs, curled around my pillow, his face pressed into the soft fluffy fur. And he’s not carefully camouflaged the same cream-and-beige color as the furs.
He’s practically glowing lavender.
I’ve only seen that color on a handful of Irrans. Specifically, the ones who are married to my friends. It’s the color of love—not just love. Fated love. Is he dreaming of finding his fated queen? That’s kind of sweet. Real fucking sweet, actually.
I thought he’d be the type to dream about flawlessly defeating his enemies using his superior strength and being crowned Emperor of the Five Planets. Or maybe anxiety dreamsabout trying to save the world and always falling a tiny bit short. I didn’t know he was a secret romantic.
His lids snap open, startling me, and I let out a small scream. Aqen immediately crashes through the door, knives in hand, to see what’s wrong, and it’s like Nik goes apeshit. His color slams back to match the room at the same time that he loops one arm around my waist, flinging me onto the bed. Once he’s satisfied that I’m behind him, he springs on his feet in the most feral posture, like a fucking werewolf transformation.
Heloomsover Aqen,literally growling, until the poor guy sheaths his knives and backs outside, apologizing. And then all that intensity turns and stalks toward me.
“Sorry for waking you up?” I offer, not sure what he wants from me. Then hepounces, landing perfectly on the bed so he’s braced on either side of me, not crushing me or making me uncomfortable in any way except for his way-too-closeness. His breathing is oddly harsh, eyes unfocused as he leans forward to bury his face in my neck.
