They could always ask him. A spark of fear rushed through them at the thought. If their doubts were true, there was no telling what he’d do when confronted. And if he hadn’t been sincere all this time, how would they know if he wasn’t still lying to them?
It was terrible, and it was foolish, and it was probably a trap made of their own mind and their turbulent emotions. Maddox loved them. Maddox was theirs. But if he wasn’t… if he was a hunter, and Diego was a vampire…
Then they would not be the first vampire to die because a hunter had taken them to bed.
Diego counted their own breaths, staring above Maddox at the crack in the curtained windows where the sky was just beginning to lighten. If they stayed past dawn, they wouldn’t be able to leave without their skin fully covered and a ride to whisk them home. They would be trapped in this apartment with their doubts festering in their mind, waiting for Maddox to wake at any moment. They needed space; space to think this through, sort out the truth from the lies, calm the trembles in their spine and warm the chill from their skin.
And they needed Valentine.
Whatever happened, Maddox was not their only soulmate, merely the one who could sob their name like a prayer while they fucked him; the one they’d recarved space for, in their heart, in their lungs, even knowing how badly he’d once hurt them. If it turned out they’d been right when they’d denied him in the beginning, they didn’t know how they’d live with themself.
8
INTERLUDE
Maddox had dreamed of Diego, of their sharp smile and the brilliant weight of them. Not them—him.
“They for my friends, he for my lovers.”
Andhewas Maddy’s lover.
He was, Maddox tried to convince himself as he drew the note of the counter:Had to go rescue Valentine. Thanks for the blood. Xoxo D.
It didn’t break his heart, exactly—a part of him had been waiting for this. He’d pushed and he’d pushed, and Diego had given in. And now they were retracting. Reclaiming the power. Putting back up their walls.
He’d hoped, stupidly, that maybe their relationship had grown past those kinds of vicious cycles they’d ravaged each other with in their youth, but it seemed they’d only transformed into something new; distance in place of barbs. Well, this version cut into him just the same. Perhaps worse. He thought he preferred Diego’s confrontational battery to this coldness. At least then, they’d been with him.
He crumpled their note, dropping it in the trash on his way to the closet. The box was just as he’d left it, safe and locked. Maddox selected his weapons with more care than usual, his mind running recklessly to Diego’s skin beneath each, all the myriad of ways that harm could be inflicted on even the strongest of vampires. He held that thought as he slipped the deadly gear into place.
Whatever Diego did, he could not forget why he had come. Or who he was fighting for.
9
“You have to talk to him.” Valentine stood in their apartment’s tiny kitchen, both hands around his coffee mug and his fangs halfway retracted. His pinky bounced anxiously against the purple ceramic, revealing the textMy New Name is Daddyin jerky flashes.
Diego leaned both elbows against the counter, trying to ignore the knot in their gut. Bile clung like a stain in the back of their throat where Maddy’s blood had so gloriously lingered twelve hours earlier, and their body seemed like it couldn’t decide whether to be afraid of him, angry at him, or angry at themself instead. “But what if I’m right?” they hissed. “He hadholy silverin his closet. I’d finally stopped seeing his grip on those damn pliers every time I tried to bite him and now this? I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel, or think, or—” They groaned, dropping their head into their hands. “I hope he’s the person I’ve been falling in love with again—I hope he’s really changed—but I can’t know for certain.”
“He’s been dedicated to you since he showed up. And not only you, Diego. He’s so sweet to me, and he doesn’t care that I’m not interested in the traditional trappings of romance or sex. He’s attentive and thoughtful, like he wants to beoursand not just yours. That means more than I can express… more than I ever thought I’d have from someone who clearly wants so badly to fuck you.” His gaze lowered to his mug. “Maybe I’m biased, but you’re brighter with him around, brighter and fiercer and more alive, and I don’t want you to lose that over something that could all be a misunderstanding.”
Diego cringed, because it was true. “It’s not thatyoudon’t make me feel alive. Because you do; you know that, right?”
“I know, Eggy.” Valentine smiled, not a hint of jealousy in his expression, only love and hope. “But I also know we don’t share all the same things you do with Maddox, and while that doesn’t bother me, it’s something you crave out of life, and you deserve a relationship that can give you that. Notinsteadof me, obviously, just like,in addition.” A touch of pink rose in his pale cheeks. “Besides, I kind of like the taste of his blood? Not in the sense you do, I’m sure, but it’s soothing in a way a lot of blood hasn’t been for me. I want to believe that he wouldn’t feel this much like home if he was secretly planning to murder us.”
“Sentimental Lentil,” Diego grumbled and wrapped their arms around him. Valentine leaned against them, and they could feel the tension slowly ease from his body. “What if heiseverything he presents himself as, and my doubts push him away?”
“If he’s that man, then he won’t balk because you confront him,” Valentine reminded them, sounding far too reasonable about something that felt so much to Diego like the end of the world. He hummed softly. “Have you told Serina yet?”
“No.”
His brow lifted.
Diego grunted and shoved him in the shoulder, receiving a snort, then a curse as his coffee spilled. It made the world feel a little less terrible. “I feel like I need more information before I go to her with it. She really wanted to believe in Maddox, but she has so much on her plate with the Paladins’ threats, and if it turns out Maddox is one of them…” Diego shook their head. “I’ll tell her, but I want to know enough that I can actually bring her something useful first.”
“Just don’t wait too long, okay?” Valentine kissed Diego’s cheek, and they let him hold them, and wished that every relationship could be this easy.
If this was anything else, it would be so simple. If Diego wasn’t a vampire, and Maddy didn’t have the tools that killed their kind stashed in his lock box. They almost wished they could just unsee it all, that they could have left well enough alone. But that wouldn’t have actually solved the problem. Not that they were solving the problem likethiseither.
They spent their days off at the club, avoiding Valentine’s questioning looks and ignoring Maddox’s calls. They left him quick messages on his answering machine in the middle of the night—they were busy, they’d had chores they’d been ignoring, the club needed an extra pair of hands, whatever excuse they could come up with. All through Wednesday practice, their brain was in shambles once again.
