She popped up in bed with such alacrity that her shoulder gave a twinge in protest. Gabriel has risen some time ago; he had already shaved and dressed. She clasped the covers around herself, painfully aware of her nakedness beneath the sheets.
“Did you summon your valet here while I was sleeping?” she asked, horrified.
“Yes,” he said, adjusting his shirtsleeves as he took a seat at the edge of the bed. “But I closed the bed curtains. Culpepper is discreet,” he said. “He knows better than to gossip.”
She resisted the childish urge to roll her eyes. Fat lot he knew about servants—theylivedfor gossip.
“I thought you’d prefer not to sleep the day away,” he said, “since you may now have my permission to be up and about once more.”
“Lovely,” she snapped peevishly. “Your permission is precisely what I was seeking.” She held out her hand. “My nightgown. I’m sure Sukey’s had it laundered by now.” If the servants hadn’t completely devolved into chaos in her absence.
“Why, Claire,” he said, “with such a commanding tone, I do believe you would make a fine marchioness.” But he reached out and snagged it from where it had been left, neatly folded, upon the dresser, and handed it over to her. While her arms were trapped inside the linen, he cupped her head in his hands and kissed her, his lips moving softly over hers, seeking a response. And she, like a lovesick girl, fell into that kiss with a sigh.
Until she recalled the reality of her situation. “Don’t!” she cried, struggling to thrust her arms into her sleeves and push him away. “Don’t,please—it just makes everything so much more difficult.”
His hands dropped, landing on the bed between them. “Don’t push me away, Claire,” he said, and his green gaze latched onto hers. “We don’t have to be at odds. We can be united.”
With no small amount of effort, she dragged her gaze away, clenching her hands in her lap. He said it as if it were such a simple solution, justbe marriedand everything would work itself out. But she knew what he didn’t seem to yet understand—he loved who she had once been, not who she was. Their past was new to him, fresh in his mind as if it had just happened. She had taken advantage of that last night, and she was grateful to have had one last opportunity to pretend, but it didn’t change the fact that eventually he would realize he didn’t truly love her at all. If she humored him, if she allowed him to make the monumental mistake of solidifying their marriage, by the time he came to his senses he would be trapped. And she could not watch his love turn to indifference.
She would be fine. She had been fine for seven years already. What mattered was Matthew’s security. He would be best served by being with his father. Gabriel would be best served by being the widower he had once thought himself. One day he might even be grateful to her. One day he might even understand exactly what she had sacrificed for him.
She would befine. It was just a small pain now to avert a large one later. She had survived worse.
“I think it would be best,” she said, tentatively, “if we were to begin as we mean to go on.”
“Asyoumean to go,” he corrected. “Were I to do the same, you would be flat on your back in my bed, with no thought of leaving it any time soon.”
She felt herself flush. “There’s no need to be crude,” she said. “Gabriel, we agreed—”
“No,” he said, heavily, “we didnotagree.Iagreed that I would let you leave if you so desired. I didnotagree that it would be best for you to do so, and neither did I agree to see you off with a wave and a smile.” He shoved himself off of the bed, snagging his coat from where he had hung it over the bed post. “We’re not done, Claire. Not yet. I’ve got five days left to change your mind, and I’m going to insist on every one of them.” Shrugging into his coat, he turned for the door.
“Gabriel—”
“If you’ll excuse me,” he interrupted, though his voice carried a touch more humility, “I’ll be gone for a few hours. You may expect me to return by noon—perhaps one at the latest. There’s only so much humiliation a man can stomach in a day.”
Humiliation?Claire dived for her wrapper, slinging it on a hurry. “Where—where are you going?”
“To become the kind of man you could love again,” he said, and the door closed behind him.
And she gave an incredulous little laugh, bracing herself against the dresser. Love himagain? It wasbecauseshe loved him that she was willing to let him go. She had been selfish enough already, and it had hurt all of them. It was her obligation to put things right.
Even if it broke her heart all over again.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Gabriel returned just after one, heading immediately for the kitchen, where he suspected Claire would be making a nuisance of herself despite the fact that he had technically relieved her of her position.
His hopes were not disappointed. She was bent over the counter, working a lump of dough that smelled of ginger and molasses, and as he watched she grabbed a halved lemon and squeezed a stream of juice into it. Which meant it would be, for the first time in quite a number of days,perfect.
“Sukey,” she said, “please put the kettle on. His lordship will be—Sukey?” Having failed to garner a response from the housemaid, her head jerked up from her task, and she looked over her shoulder at last to ascertain what had so distracted her staff. “Good lord,” she said. “What in the world happened to your face?”
Gabriel gave a jerk of his head, and the kitchen staff obligingly scattered. Claire scrubbed her hands on her apron as she approached, and then reached out to touch his face, turning his head to the side to examine the bruise blossoming along his jaw. Her fingers smelled like ginger, tempting enough to bite.
“You’ll remember,” he said, “I once told you I had made a number of enemies.” When she nodded, he continued, “While you have been convalescing, I decided that I would give it a fair shot at turning them back into friends.”
Claire cleared her throat. “By the look of that bruise, it hasn’t gone very well.”
“Oh, no,” he said cheerfully, “it went quite well, as a matter of fact. I let Lord Sumner plant me a facer, and he realized that I was quite serious about my intentions. We had a drink or two. I explained to him my circumstances, and he was more understanding than I would have expected. While I’m not certain we’ll ever be friends, at least I can say with some confidence that we are no longer enemies.”
