‘Just about how lovely it is in here,’ I reply. ‘You?’
‘I was thinking about how much I want to kiss you,’ he tells me.
‘That did pop into my mind,’ I admit.
Ethan slowly stands up straight. Then he places his hands on my sides and lifts me up, sitting me down on the windowsill. The glass feels cold on my back so I lean forward towards him,wrapping my legs around his waist, hooking my arms around his neck. Okay, this really is like muscle memory.
He presses his face into my neck but he doesn’t kiss it, he just rubs his face up against it for a second, his hands exploring my back – almost like he’s giving me a moment to think about it and, yep, thought about it.
‘We said we would never do this again,’ I remind him – not exactly sounding like I never want to do it again.
‘I think it was more that we nevershoulddo it again,’ he clarifies, his voice super soft and silky smooth.
I chew my lip thoughtfully.
I want him. I really want him, but…
‘No, you’re right,’ he tells me – and it’s only as he says this that I realise it’s the opposite of what I want to hear.
‘You love an audience, don’t you?’ I reply. ‘Here, in front of the window…’
‘Well, the first time we did it, we were in the bathroom,’ he reminds me – as though I could forget. ‘No audience in the shower.’
I know I shouldn’t, but…
‘Maybe we should go into the bathroom then,’ I say.
Ethan picks me up gently, only to place me back on the floor. It feels like it takes an hour, to walk from the window to the bathroom, but we get there, he turns the light on and – would you believe it – there’s no shower. Just a bath.
‘Ah,’ I blurt, hoping this isn’t a sign from the universe that we need to stop this right now.
‘I mean, baths are romantic, right?’ he points out. ‘Bath? It looks big enough for two…’
‘Yeah,’ I say, not sounding entirely convinced, but I’m just being silly, right? The universe doesn’t give signs.
‘I’ll run it,’ he says. ‘You go sit through there.’
Let me tell you now, nothing kills the moment like pausing to run a bath. It’s a long pause that we do not need right now, because it’s giving me a chance to think things through.
Ethan joins me, sitting next to me on the bed.
‘The bath is filling,’ he tells me. ‘Unless you’ve changed your mind? Your face looks like it’s changed its mind.’
I laugh.
‘It’s not that I’ve changed my mind,’ I begin. ‘It’s just that… there’s a reason we said we would never do this again, but every time we do, we seem to cause trouble. Last time?—’
‘Last time we were drunk,’ he reminds me.
‘I know but, still, think of the chaos we almost caused,’ I say. ‘I like to have a drink, and a good time, but there’s something about you that just makes me absolutely nuts. Like, if you told me to jump off a cliff, and you said it while you didn’t have a shirt on, I’d backflip off the thing.’
Ethan laughs.
‘It’s like you think we’re cursed,’ he says. ‘Like we’re doomed to cause a major incident.’
‘Can you blame me?’ I reply. ‘Look what we almost did, in Jennifer’s office.’
‘That was just a freak accident,’ he reassures me.
