He’d been selfish and, looking back, had no doubt been a source of worry in much the same way as his mum had been. Not only had Julia had to watch her sister drive herself into an early grave, she’d been forced to cope with her nephew going down the same path for a while too. The stupid choices he’d made, the excuses he’d had every step of the way and all of them wrapped up in self-pity. He was definitely his mother’s son. His aunt must have dreaded the phone ringing. To havethatcall once was more than enough.
Nate never thought he’d ever understand his mum’s final act, but he had to admit that a part of him was starting to. He might not have stopped his heart from beating, but just like her, he’d certainly given up on life. He looked around the room again, realising just how much he’d locked himself away these last years, as if the outside world had hardly existed.
His eyes settled on the tall faceless angel. Grabbing a stool, he perched himself down in front of her. “And then you came along. And enticed me back.”
He couldn’t believe that in a few short weeks, Flick had managed to do what his aunt had spent years trying to achieve. In her own sweet, albeit unintentional way, Flick had shown him that his mother didn’t dictate his identity.
His smile faded as he recalled their last encounter. The confusion in Flick’s eyes, how could he not see that that was real? He could still hear the venom in his voice, feel the hardness in his face as he spat his words out. As for Brenda, of course she wasn’t the criminal mastermind he’d made her out to be. He scoffed. Having spent years telling himself he knew exactly what people were about, it turned out he knew nothing of the sort.
They were never going to forgive him. And why should they?
The pit of his stomach felt heavy with shame, which would have been enough to make the old Nate drown his sorrows in drink. He’d be staring at the bottom of an empty beer glass by now, because just like the other night that’s what he always did. Not this time though, this time there were no excuses. He had to face up to his behaviour, it was just a case of how?
He thought for a moment, before reaching into his pocket for his phone. Scrolling down his list of contacts he finally clicked ‘call’ and waited. “It’s me. I need a favour.”
41
Flick’s boots rubbed as she made her way towards the chateau. Shoving one foot in front of the other, she groaned, the sweeping drive seemed never-ending. She hadn’t intended to be out that long. After Julia’s visit and subsequent explanation as to the mystery photographer’s identity, Flick had thought a stroll in the fresh air might help clear her head. She stopped for a moment to give her feet a rest. There must have been more going on in her mind than she’d realised, her quick walk having somehow turned into a long constitutional. She sighed, supposing the blisters were worth it. She might not have all the answers yet, but she’d had plenty of time to think.
Setting off again, she wondered how Nate was feeling now the truth was out. She sighed again. He probably still hated her and her mum. Flick might not have appreciated his outburst, but she could certainly understand why he’d put two and two together and got six.
Finally, Flick reached the chateau entrance and she let herself in.Home at last, she thought, at the same time shrugging away her coat and kicking off her boots.
Heading for the kitchen, she wasn’t surprised to find her dad’s casket of ashes had reappeared on the fire’s mantelpiece. The atmosphere in the chateau had been tense over the last day or two and her mother seemed to gain comfort in having him close by. Flick had to admit she felt the same and approaching the wooden box, she let her fingers trace the carved inscription –Forever Loved. Flick knew he’d hate the current strain between her and her mum. She hated it too. “Don’t worry, Dad. We’ll get it sorted.”
As if on cue, Brenda entered the room. “I thought I’d make some lunch. Would you like some?”
Watching her head to the fridge, Flick could see the situation was taking its toll. Usually so positive, the glint in her mum’s eyes had waned and she seemed smaller somehow, older. “Let me help.” Flick stepped forward to get a knife and cut the bread while her mum grabbed the butter and cheeses, before preparing a simple salad. The silence as they worked was deafening, the quietness continuing even as they sat down for their meal.
Brenda suddenly stopped eating. “This is awful,” she said, putting down her knife and fork.
Flick popped a forkful of tomato into her mouth. “Tastes all right to me.”
For the first time in days, Brenda smiled. “You know I’m not talking about the food.”
Flick also placed her cutlery on the table. “Everything’s going to be fine. You’ve no need to keep punishing yourself.”
“But I want to show you how sorry I am for all of this. Lord knows I can’t just keep saying it. I want to put things right. If I’d known what the fallout was going to be I’d have kept my big fat mouth shut. Nothing’s worth coming between me and my daughter, not Nate, not this chateau…”
“And nothing has come between us, Mum. Not really. I admit I’m not happy about you threatening to out Nate, but what’s done is done. And I know you had nothing but good intentions, you had my best interests at heart like always. We just have to figure out how to move forward.”
“So, what’s the answer? Because I’m happy to go along with whatever you decide.”
Flick got up from her seat and headed for the cupboard. “I know this is going to sound daft.” She pulled out a couple of glasses and a jug, heading to the sink to fill the latter with water. “It’s just that when I look back on everything, it almost feels like I’ve forced people in to keep saving me. And because of that, be them good or bad, I haven’t been able to make my own choices. Not proper ones, anyway.”
“How so?” Brenda asked as Flick set the glasses and jug down on the table.
Retaking her seat, Flick tried to order her thoughts. “Put it this way, if Dad hadn’t suffered his stroke, Matthew wouldn’t have asked me to marry him. This isn’t about blame, being ill wasn’t Dad’s fault, I just handled it so badly.”
“Go on.”
“If I’d been stronger, there’d have been no reason for Matthew to step in. He wouldn’t have felt the need to rescue me. Yes, his proposal was commendable, it came from a good place, however, it was also just plain stupid. I mean, of course I was going to say yes. He offered me a lifeline when I felt like I was drowning. But let’s face it, I was in no position to make that kind of commitment. And as it turned out, neither was he.”
“You can say that again.”
Flick smiled. As far as she was concerned, none of that mattered any more.
“Coming to France was the same. Would I have chosen to own a place likeChateau D’Enchantement? Probably not...”
