Her friend looked to Rebecca and, despite not saying a single word, Annabel could see they were still inagreement.
Both women turned their eyes directlyonher.
‘Lucky!’ they said, inunison.
* * *
Dan pouredthe freshly blended mix of vegetables, herbs, and stock from the mixer back in to the pan. ‘Not bad,’ he said. ‘Even if I do say so myself.’ He breathed in the soup’s enticing aroma. No way would his mother be able toresistthis.
He gave it a quick stir, and stopped to lean against the kitchen counter; he took his mobile from his pocket and, yet again, read the text from Annabel. Up until now, he’d been the only one to instigate contact outside of their usual appointment, so her message had come as a bit of a surprise. A nice surprise, he had to admit, especially when she’d expressed her gratitudealready.
He smiled to himself, doubting she’d have shown any appreciation at all had she known he’d been half tempted to let her head off in search of Gavin herself. Considering her wardrobe, it would have been great entertainment value. Although she did look pretty cute in her PJs, he had to concede. Not quite as cute as when she opened the door in nothing but her dressing gown, of course. Now that was an image he’d neverforget.
He almost laughed at how his mind actually went blank for a second, causing him to come out with some inane question about it not being a bad time. Obviously it wasn’t a good time. The woman had had to answer the door half-naked. He continued to picture her though and couldn’t help the wordstom-ay-toandtom-ah-tospringingtomind.
He snapped himself out of it, knowing it was exactly these kinds of thoughts that had gotten him into his currentpredicament.
What a mess,Dan thought to himself. Seeing her like that had left him unable to think straight, let alone remember why he was actually there. And by the time he’d pulled himself together it was too late to offer any explanation at all with regards to his impromptu visit, she was already on the phone to her sister. Why hadn’t he just said what he had to say and then left them both to it, instead of playing the knight in shining armour? If he had, he wouldn’t have heard about Rebecca’s pregnancy. But hear he did and now it felt cruel to tell Annabel their arrangement was off. The mere mention of Rebecca having a baby had struck him, so he could only guess at how Annabel must feel. She might put on a brave face, but whether she admitted it or not, it hadtohurt.
‘Anyone I know?’ asked his mum, enteringtheroom.
As she peeked over his shoulder, Dan quickly tucked his phone into his jeans pocket. ‘I shouldn’t think so,’ he said. He pushed anything and everything Annabel related to the back of his mind, it was something he’d have to deal withlater.
He picked up the wooden spoon again and got back to his stirring. ‘I hope you’re hungry. This soup is to die for.’ Dan cringed. There were so many innocuous statements that, under normal circumstances, would go unnoticed. Now, however, they seemed to take on a whole new dimension. He turned to his mother. ‘Sorry. That came outwrong.’
Unusually quiet, she dismissed his comment with a wave of a hand. ‘This looks nice,’ she said, takingaseat.
He followed her gaze to the neatly laid table. His mum had always thought it important they eat together at least once a day. She viewed it as their time to catch up. Dan had to admit he hadn’t always agreed and sometimes he had managed to get out of it, but not very often. He thought back to his youth, he could still recall his frustration at not being able to come in from school and head straight for his room. Unlike his friends, he wasn’t allowed to shut himself away for hours on end. Instead, he’d have to sit and watch his mum prepare dinner, answering question after question about how his day had been, what he and his friends had been up to during break and did they have any plans for the weekend. Even after they’d eaten he still couldn’t escape. Under his mother’s watchful eye, he’d have to sit there doing his homework while she washed up and clearedeverythingaway.
Now though, he understood why. The prospect of losing his mum had forced him to look at their relationship through fresh eyes. He’d come to realise their tea time routine, along with the incessant questions, had been her way of ascertaining what was going on in his head, rather than in his general day to day life. She’d simply been making sure she didn’t lose him to all the badness out there in the world – crime, drugs, peer pressure, all the things that can drive a wedge between parent and child if left unnoticed. This was her way of keeping him on the straight and narrow. What he’d give to go back tothosedays.
‘So what’s on your agenda for this week?’ asked his mum, interrupting his thoughts. ‘Anythingexciting?’
Dan smiled; he thought to himself that some things never changed. Not only did his mother still employ the same tactics, she was as protective of him now as she’d ever been. He just wished he had more time left with her toappreciateit.
‘No plans to speak of,’ he replied. He carried the pan of soup over to the table and began filling their bowls. ‘Whataboutyou?’
His mum picked up her spoon. ‘I’ll be checking out the local hospice, but other than that nothingspecial.’
Dan stopped what he was doing. He knew that she hadn’t intended to sound so blasé, but he still felt like he’d been slapped in the face. Hospices were where people went to die. They weren’t something you casually dropped into aconversation.
‘Don’t look at me like that, Sweetie. We both know it’s coming and, as hard as it is to accept, we have to be organised and ready. These things have to be done.’ She paused as if thinking about the place in more detail. ‘I’m most looking forward to seeing the gardens. Apparently they’re gorgeous and, no matter the season, there’s always something in bloom. I imagine it’ll be quite comforting to be surrounded by beauty attheend.’
‘ButI…’
‘What? Expected me to spend my last days here? I don’t think so, Dan. That would be too much for the both of us.’ She began to eat. ‘And just because I had to bathe you and get you dressed once of a day, that doesn’t mean I want you returning the favour. Surely you canseethat?’
Dan didn’t know what to say. On the rare occasion he had allowed himself to think about his mother’s final days, she was right, he had automatically assumed they’d be spent here, with him, in their home. He’d assumed he’d be the one nursing her to the very end and not because of any sense of duty, but because he wanted todoit.
‘After I’m gone,’ his mum carried on. ‘I need you to remember all the fun we’ve had over the years. Not when you had to carry me down the stairs to the sofa, or worse to the toilet. I couldn’tbearit.’
No matter the explanation, Dan still felt hurt. ‘So you’d rather be surrounded bystrangers?’
She gave him one of her sterndon’t even go therelooks and Dan realised there was no point arguing. The matter was in no way up for discussion. He shook his head and sighed. He might not like her decision, he might even want to return the favour as she put it, but he had to respect her wishes even if she couldn’t respect his. ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘We’ll do thingsyourway.’
‘Thank you,’ his mum replied. ‘Now can we please talk about something positive? Tell me, how are things withMaeve?’
Dan fixed a smile on his face; he didn’t feel like talking about anything. ‘Fine,’ he simply said. ‘She’s alovelygirl.’
