The till operator smirked as she swiped the magazines over the bar code sensor and, while looking Annabel directly in the eyes, seemed to purposefully place them on top of the food mound for all to see. ‘That will be forty-eight pounds and twenty,’shesaid.
Desperate to get out of there, the last thing Annabel wanted was to have to wait for change and, fumbling in her purse, she tried to come up with the right amount of cash. While counting it out to the last penny, she almost had to stop herself from throwing the money at the woman, doing her best to hold her head high. Finally, she could make her exit, and raced to the doors. At last, out in the fresh air, she just thanked goodness there were other supermarkets she could go to fromnowon.
Annabel couldn’t help but feel a little disheartened as she took in her purchases. Not only did they look pitiful, but this certainly wasn’t how she’d envisaged her inauguration into motherhood. Even so, she supposed needs must; after all, getting pregnant wasn’t exactly something she could do onherown.
She let out a long, hard sigh and checked her watch. ‘Thirty minutes and counting,’shesaid.
* * *
Dan shook the deodorant can,trying to get at the last dregs of spray. Despite almost covering himself in the stuff, he still felt hot and bothered. He’d never slept with a complete stranger before and the strain of knowing that’s what he was about to do was clearly taking its toll. He felt nervous as hell, worried he wouldn’t be able to perform. Yes, Annabel was gorgeous; he’d have to be blind not to see that. But stress could play cruel games when it came to a man’s anatomy; especially when the pressurewason.
He wished he could be more like his mate Richard, a man who’d bed a different woman every night of the week given half the chance. Unlike him though, Dan more often than not preferred to get to know someone before sleeping with them. No wonder he felt nervous. Apart from their initial meeting in the pub and bumping into her in the street that day, he hadn’t clapped eyes on Annabel since. They’d spoken on the phone, of course, and to be fair, Annabel had seemed just as nervy as him about the whole thing; as well as being surprised that he’d actually agreed to do this. Now he began to askhimselfwhy?
He grabbed his jeans and while pulling them on, he suddenly paused, as an unwanted thought entered his head. ‘What if she doesn’t want to sleep with me?’ he asked. Unwelcome images of being shown to the bathroom appeared in his mind; he being forced to do the business solo as while she watched TV in another room, turkey-baster at the ready. A situation he considered way more embarrassing than the both of them jumping into bed together. ‘No,’ he said. ‘She wouldn’t. Would she?’ He shook the very idea away, telling himself he was just being daft. They might not have talked about the actual practicalities of getting Annabel pregnant, but he couldn’t see her putting himthroughthat.
He continued to dress, wondering what his baby might look like; whether he, or she, would inherit his pale blue eyes and unruly blonde hair. Annabel had made it clear that Dan would be the father in DNA terms only; that once the deed was done he’d be out of the picture. But that didn’t stop him secretly hoping she’d change her mind once the baby was born. Or that there’d be something a bit more visual to indicate paternity, something obvious to back up the science. He almost laughed, forced to ask where this desire for amini mehad come from. He found it pathetic; he’d always viewed himself as more of a forwardthinker.
Then again, he supposed becoming a donor was bound to raise issues. It could even explain why he’d been thinking about his own dad a lot more recently. Questioning how different his life would have been had his fatherlived?
My father, Dan thought. A man, who to all intents and purposes had taken good care of himself, yet had still only managed a relatively short innings. Thinking about it, his dad hadn’t been much older than he was now when he’d passed away and surely if it could happen to him, it could happen toanyone.
Dan knew such a fear was irrational, but he had to wonder if his dad’s mortality had somehow informed his decision to go ahead with Annabel’s request. It would certainly explain his sudden need to let the world know his seed had what it takes. After all, without this opportunity, there might never be any living proof he’d ever personally existed. He thought about his dad’s death again, knowing that if he remained childless there’d be no one left to continue thefamilyname.
‘That’s a point,’ he said. ‘Will this baby even havemyname?’
After acknowledging there was more to this agreement than he’d fully appreciated, Dan couldn’t help but sigh. It was as if he had an angel sitting on each of his shoulders. One cheering him on, insisting he was doing the right thing, even if the finer details did still need ironing out; the other frowning and shaking its head, telling him that becoming a father was best left until he found the rightwoman.
‘The right woman,’ Dan scoffed. Picturing his mother with her long list of demands on the daughter-in-law front, he couldn’t even be sure there was a strong enough candidate outthere.
He checked his reflection in the mirror and, refusing to be swayed, once again told himself that he was just being silly. Going for casual yet smart, he wanted to create the right impression without being too formal. ‘Not bad,’ he said, liking what he saw. He turned his attention to the bedside cabinet and grabbed an envelope out of the drawer. Not the nicest of documents, he had to admit, but thanks to Annabel’s insistence on a test at least he knew for certain that he was clean, that he wasn’t carrying any STDs. He stuffed it into his pocket and took a deep breath in anticipation of the evening ahead. Now all he had to do was get past his over inquisitive mum without giving the game away, a task that could prove harder than having sex ondemand.
Making his way downstairs, he found her at the kitchen table pawing over some fancy travel magazine. ‘Planning on going somewhere?’ heasked.
She looked up. ‘No, not really, but a girl candream.’
Her response surprised Dan. His mum was always organising a trip to somewhere or another. In fact, aside of himself, her travelling expeditions were what shelivedfor.
He clocked her taking in his attire and she suddenlyperkedup.
‘Unlike you, by the looks of things. AnyoneIknow?’
‘Yes, as a matter of fact,’ said Dan. Obviously keen to know more, Dan saw her eyes widen and he couldn’t help but smile. The woman could be so predictable. ‘I’m meeting up with Richard, if youmustknow.’
‘Oh,’shesaid.
Her eagerness turned to flat out disappointment, leaving Dan doing his best to hide his amusement. ‘I’ll pass on your regards, shall I?’ heasked.
He knew he shouldn’t tease, but lately she’d gone from being interested in his love life to bordering on obsessive, something he was sure nobody else’s son had to putupwith.
‘Apparently Maeve and her new man have broken up,’ she ventured. ‘I could give Missy a call ifyoulike?’
‘No thanks,’ he replied. ‘A few beers with Richard will domefine.’
Regardless of any entertainment value, Dan hated lying to her. Although, under the circumstances he didn’t think he had a choice. Not that the baby issue on its own concerned him. His mum had always had a live and let live approach to life. However, this live and let live theory might be alright when it came to other people’s children, but would she really extend the courtesy when it came to her own offspring? He took in her expression; the look of blighted hope was enough to answer the question in itself. Of course shewouldn’t.
He decided to move the conversation on. ‘What about you? No belly dancing, didgeridoo practice or whatever else it is you get up totonight?’
His mum chuckled. ‘You know full well I don’t play thedidgeridoo.’
