“What about you, darling?” He asks Elouise. She shakes her head, totally unfazed by the pet name. I wonder if they’ve known each other a long time. But I don’t ask. Just like she appears to be, I’m all talked out. After some food arrives and we’ve each had a few bites, it’s Lou who breaks the silence first.
“That one in the corner is mine,” she says.
“What?”
“That dreamboat playing bass guitar in the band. That’s my husband.”
I look over at the man. I agree he’s good-looking, in an artistic, retired rockstar kind of way. I look back at Lou. Her black dress could be described as a suit dress, like you’d see in a court room. She doesn’t have a hair out of place and I’m tempted to ask her for the name of her aesthetician, she’s so flawless. I look back at her husband, who is in a decaying tee layered under a worn leather vest. His hair is long and growing slick with sweat.
“Yup. That’s the love of my life. I want to go to bed about the time he wants to be tuning his guitar and pre-partying. Why do we always fall in love with our exact opposite?” she asks. I snort. Her words sound snarky but her eyes are lit up as she watches him play. “He and his band don’t get many well-paying gigs anymore but Bossman heard I was married to a musician a few years back at one of these parties and, after getting over his initial shock, insisted C.I. hire them at least once a year. Usually it’s the Christmas party but I think this year they’re going with a big band, with the horns.”
“Huh,” I say, looking over at Benedict.
He catches my eye and winks at me. I roll my eyes involuntarily and of course he catches it. His smile grows wide so I look away. Lou yawns beside me.
“How do you manage that?” I ask her, yawning back on the last word.
“What?”
“Being so totally opposite? That’s never worked out for me.” She frowns and I realize what I just said. “I mean, in, uh, the past, it worked hasn’t. I mean,” I try to calm my lying self down. “Benedict and I are still, you know, trying to figure it out.”
“Eh, you will,” she shrugs. “You meet in the middle. Like the boss, knowing you need to sit here and decompress with me. He’s alright after all, isn’t he?”
My mouth falls open. Huh. He did. See me and do that for me. Without any complaining. No whining that I am affecting his fun.
He is alright. More than alright. He’s thoughtful and funny and kind but he’s also…a force. A happy, expressive, never-ending whirlwind. My total opposite.
She chuckles at me as my mind short-circuits and then goes on. “I don’t go to all Jeff’s gigs and he wouldn’t ask me to. On Saturday nights I try to keep up, go out dancing or to jazz clubs or whatever torture he has planned for us.” I chuckle again. “But, most Mondays through Thursdays we’re in bed by nine reading Lori Kent side by side on our Kindles. We balance each other out.”
“You read Lorelai?” I say without realizing how it sounds. Lori, to her readers, is a good friend of Skye’s family. I’m a fan and have gotten to meet her a few times. I wonder if Benedict knows her too. I bet he does, but I can’t imagine him sitting still with me to read her books.
“Of course,” Lou says, “who doesn't love mafia smut?”
I choke on my drink, “Good point.” I don’t say I can’t read Lori’s books anymore. I can’t even really read romance at all at this point.
She makes it sound so simple but it’s not. This is not my first rodeo. Not even my second rodeo. I can’t imagine Ben tucked in early with me every night. Wait, not that I need to. It’s not about Ben and I together. I’m just frustrated that somehow, I’ve ended up here all over again. This crappy, lame, small feeling late in the evening.
Because I didn’t want to disappoint Walker or my ex-fiance either. I wanted to balance Theo out, or let him balance me out. I really worked at it, I did. The smiling, dancing, schmoozing. I tried to keep up.
But I couldn’t.
And he left.
And Theo took almost my whole life with him when he went.
His apartment. His subscriptions to every online form of entertainment. His fancy art world friends that I thought were my friends too.
They were not.
My eyes sting and I sniff. Elouise catches it.
“Just so sweets, I, I hope we can be just like yous guy,” I stumble through the lie with a tight smile.
“You will,” She says.
But we won’t.
This time is totally different.
