“Look around, Benedict, are you really all that surprised?”
Before I can reply, the assistant to the mayor gestures toward us, saying something about how glad he is we could all make it. He wags his eyebrows at me and I get it. Famous person, small town. Very exciting.
“Now, remember the rules, use what you brought and when the timer sounds at thirty minutes,” he blows a bullhorn and everyone winces. “Drop everything. Good luck and, as this is our first official event, I can finally say, Happy Jolly Juniper Days!”
Everyone cheers. I clap and eye my partner, who is actually clapping. Her face is filled with dread though.
I look around, searching for the scarecrow frame. “Come now, timer’s started. I did some Googling,” I say, nodding. “But where is it?”
“Where is what?”
“The scarecrow.”
Janie picks up a long, thin piece of wood. “Um, here? We have to make it.”
“What?” I start to sweat a bit, oddly nervous. “Fine, and we? Where’s the rest of our team?”
“You know, you need to actually read the documents people send you!” She’s back to whisper-yelling. It’s less hot without the leaning and cleavage like that night in Vegas. Still stirs something in me, though. She motions between us. “This is it! You and me! It’s a couple’s contest!”
“Oh hell,” I say, my face falling.
“It’s fine,” she rubs her forehead, “We don’t have to win or anything. It’s just for photos, right?”
“Right,” I say but I don’t think she thinks it’s fine. I think she’s more competitive than she lets on. She picks up another skinny pole thing. I ask, a bit scared, “How do we make that stick into a scarecrow?”
“According to YouTube, we make a t-shape?” She holds her arms straight out. “So arms out, we put pants on the bottom. Boom. Scarecrow.”
“Pants?” I ask, looking down.
She sighs, “Calm down, I brought some of my brother’s old clothes. We’re not going to use your thousand dollar jeans, Boss.”
“Ben.”
She ignores me and holds up the two poles to make a T, and asks, “Do you know how to use a nail gun?”
“How hard can it be?” I ask, grabbing the gun she nodded at on the ground. I shoot a nail into the grass then immediately jump and drop the thing. “What! Why is this so powerful!”
Her hold on the poles relaxes as she looks up at the sky and exhales, “Tell me we are not going to end up in the ER tonight.”
“No, because we’re not touching that thing. It’s like they’ve handed each couple an assault rifle! Let’s hire it out!” I say, still a bit shocked. I’ve been skeet shooting many times. Quail hunting too. Not my favorite activity but a requirement of my upbringing. That power tool could be used for either.
“Well, Mr. Money Bags, did you bring your fancy interior decorator with you?” I sigh. “How about a glue gun?” She presses and I exhale through my nose. “Uh huh. So you hold the sticks, I’ll shoot it in place.” She moves to pick up the nail gun.
“The hell you will!” I stop her. “Step back, woman! Put those things on the ground in a T-shape and I’ll shoot it in the grass. Don’t touch that thing. This is barbaric.”
I look up to make sure she’s doing what I asked and she…
She’s smiling.
Wide and free.
Wow.
“What?” She says, the smile fading.
“Nothing, just, uh, looked like maybe you were laughing at me.”
“Oh, I was absolutely laughing at you, Bossman.”
