“You, you’re w-what?”
“I’m not in love with Theo, you big, beautiful, dummy. I love you!”
“But I heard, you said, still. You said ‘Istilllove him.’”
She slides down me and stands, hands on my shoulders, smirking, “Yes, because Skye was listing all the odds stacked against us and your many,manyflaws, and she said Janie, admit it, even with all that you still love him and I said yes I still love him!”
“You love me.”
“Yes,” she blushes and goes on to hide her nerves, “Even though you’re so terribly British and—”
I kiss her. I kiss her hard and pour all the heart break and longing and now hope and light anddamn! She loves me!Shelovesme!
She pulls back, her gray eyes narrowing, “Well?”
“Well, what?”
“You were going to say something the other night and you stopped yourself?”
I beam at her, relishing this moment. She’s flayed wide open before me, like I’ve felt for weeks now. No more walls, no more jokes. I let myself savor the feeling.
“I don’t recall,” I pretend.
“Don’t recall? Who says that? Exactly what year is it?” I laugh but I know she’s really feeling nervous now.
“Someone who is totally dead-on, no-hope, totally-mad, ass-over-tits in love with you.”
She rolls her eyes, “Ass over tits? Reall—”
I kiss her again, leaning down and grabbing her thighs. She jumps onto me like she never left. Like she’s always been right here in my arms, where she belongs. I carry her into the house, up the grand stairwell, bumping into not one but two giant bronze busts as we go. We laugh, we kiss and she cries and we laugh some more.
We reach my room and I shut the door behind us with my foot. We become frenzied, hurried. But she stops us.
“Wait, wait,” I frown down at her stunning face. Her black lashes are clumped with tears and her pink lips are swollen. She looks nervous again so I just wait, stroking a thumb under one wet eye. She says, “I want to tell you everything. I want you to understand.”
“Okay, my love,” I set us on my bed, bothered by the trembling in her voice. “Okay, tell me.”
She does. About the debt. Years and years of it. About how embarrassed she was and then how—
“What the hell! The Bonettis! Janelle, what? Honestly!” I stand, ready to march off and make some calls, but she grabs my hand and pulls me down. She explains how messy it’s been and that she didn’t want my famous name or family tangled up in it, or Skye’s either. I’m relieved to know it’s handled and the texts have stopped. I nod and assure her I’m fine, but I will absolutely make some calls after she’s asleep. No one threatens my wife, not even the mob.Italian wankers.
After the whole horrid tale, she pauses.
Her lip quivers when she starts, “I want to explain about the photos,” I try to shush her but she goes on. “It wasn’t about Theo. I mean maybe a year ago it was, but then it became more about me. Reminders for me to not be fooled, not be charmed again. I’m hard-wired for charm, but I hate that about myself, because it is how my mom was and, duh, she left me, right? I was never enough for her. Then after Theo I was so set to never be fooled again. After even one date with a guy, I’d flip through those photos. Anytime I was feeling hopeful about money or tempted to feel settled and at peace, I’d remind myself how quickly it can all be gone.”
She explains how much her split from her ex decimated her finances and her day-to-day life in New York. I add my art brokers names to my list of people I’ll be calling later. She starts to tear up again.
“Then, that whole album really was about you. I was so scared because I was falling for you and I’m still scared, Ben.”
“What? Why? I would never do what he did,” I start but she cuts me off.
“I know you wouldn’t dump me publicly and leave me in financial ruin, obviously. But what about getting restless? What about feeling bored once you get used to me and my spreadsheets and my nine pm bedtime?”
“My darling, I’m already used to you. I’m already on board with your spreadsheets and when we were in Mexico City did I keep you up? Did I drag you around?”
“But did you want to keep me up? I don’t want you to change, Ben, you are so wonderful just as you are. Funny and hot and kind and you think too much about others, about me. What if you want to drag me around? You can drag me around a little,” she says and we both chuckle.
“You came with me on the trip, Janelle. That’s what I wanted. I wanted you to be you. With me. If I desperately need to up andgo sky diving I’ll just call Aiden and make him go sky diving. Then I’ll be home by eight forty-five.”
