“No.”
“No?”
“No,” she says, grabbing my belt. “I’m trying to be mad about another round of surprise decorations.” I hum in confusion, distracted by the fact that she’s taking off my pants. “But I’m just not.”
“Oh?” I say, enchanted as she whips off her shirt and sinks to her knees in nothing but a pretty, tiny, teal thong.
“No, you know what I am?” She shoves my pants and boxers down, grabsmein her hand and—
Yes!
Her mouth.
On me.
I will never get over this.
She says something, but her mouth is stuffed full.
Damn it, I’m close already. Again? No!
“What was that?” I say, breathing deep and trying to think of rugby scores or anything other than how close I am.
“Grateful, Ben. I’m grateful. Now I’m going to properly say thank you.” I hiss as she pumps me with her hand and then I experience…nirvana? Ecstasy? Heaven?
I try to make it last as long as I possibly can.
I manage to hold off for nine minutes.
_____
“Okay, where are these carriages?” I ask my blushing bride as we park near town square.
“Change of plans.”
“What? Change of plans?Your plans?” I exclaim dramatically.
She sighs. “I’m going to give you one minute to tease me about being boring and predictable and rigid, ready? Go.”
My smile dies. “Pass. You are none of those things.”
“I am, and I’m fine with it.”
“You really aren’t, love.”
She lowers her chin, “Benedict. I have a spreadsheet for my meals, remember?”
“Which I obliterated. You rolled with it. You are completely unpredictable and the least boring person I’ve ever been around.”
“You know what? We don’t have time for your lies and flattery because we,” she pauses, pleased with herself, “are going tubing.”
“Tubing,” I repeat.
“Extreme tubing down Mount Juniper. We’ll catch the bus up to the top when it circles around here in two and a half minutes.”
“You want to tube down a mountain?” I ask tentatively.
“Youwant to tube down a mountain. I want to thank you for what you did for Gran and all the other residents.”
