My fingers twitch at my side, itching to ball into a fist. I bite my tongue so hard to keep from blowing up at him that I’m surprised I don’t taste blood.
“Have you singled out any of the other trainees, or am I just the lucky winner?”
He scoffs. “You’re the only one worth a damn, and you’re half-assing it. Like I said, you’ve got potential. But you’re gonna have to get your head out of your ass if you want to succeed.”
Words fail me.This motherfucker.
He unfolds his arms and crosses behind his desk. “You’re dismissed.”
I spin on a heel, snatching up my materials as I stalk out of the room. Fuck this place, and fuck this guy for making me feel like I’m in high school.
My phone pings with a message, and I nearly hurl it I’m so frustrated.
Kate: So you’re a stalker now, huh?
Jackson: WTF are you talking about?
My phone rings in my hand, and I’m swiping to answer before I second-guess it. “What’s up, needle-pusher?”
“Weelll. I guess you didn’t fall off the face of the earth after all. And I’m talking about how you trolled my social media and liked all my posts.”
In the background, Cal yells, “Yo, Kate. I’m making a run, you need anything?”
The familiar scene stops me in my tracks.
“Nah, I’m good. Hey, come say hey to the bush boy.”
“Bush boy?” Cal questions, his voice growing louder.
“Hey, man,” I croak, throat suddenly tight. I was a real dick to him.
“Hey.” It’s more of a grunt than anything. There’s a muffled sound over the line, and then Cal’s voice sounds farther away. “I’ll be back.”
“He’s pissed, huh?” I ask when Kate comes back on the line.
“He’s not the only one. You know, I get having goals and wanting to do something different. But I thought we were friends.”
Regret is a double-edged sword, and it cuts deep. I should’ve talked to him, to all of them, about my plans. Should’ve respected our partnership enough to be open about it.
I resume heading back to my barracks, this time without the urgency to go to the next thing, wanting to keep Kate on the line for as long as she will talk to me.
“I’m a dick. I should’ve told y’all what was up. I think I was afraid you’d talk me out of it.”
The only response is a hum. It sounds like acknowledgment, but of what? That I’m a dick, or that they’d talk me out of it?
“So? How’s it going? Everything you thought it’d be?”
I reach the chairs that sit just outside of our unit and drop into one. “Not really.”
Launching into how the captain has been calling me out leads to me telling Kate more about how I’m not fitting in with the guys, and how the whole program doesn’t seem as urgent as it once did.
“Well, you had the best squad. It makes sense that everyone else would pale in comparison.”
“What about you? I saw you on a farm. What’s up with that?” I need to get us out of this deep conversation and into lighter territory. Something to ease this ache in my chest that grows the longer we stay on the line.
“Yeah, it’s sort of a working-for-my-rent situation. A friend of mine needed home-health help for her neighbor, and my landlord jacked my rent up. So it’s a win-win. He doesn’t need that much help, but he’s diabetic and not taking care of himself. He’d gotten to the point where he was calling 911 every other day. But really, I think he’s just lonely.”
“I don’t see you being a farm girl.”
