“Tell me to stop, and I will.” He leaned in until his lips hovered just above mine.
“I—” I swallowed, my voice catching. “I can’t.”
He didn’t close the distance, but I could feel the heat of his breath,the shape of his words against my skin. “Tell me to stop, Odessa,” he said one last time.
I stayed still. Silent.
Then he kissed me.
His lips were warm and soft, like silk against skin, but behind the gentleness, there was a hunger coiled tight, waiting to unloose. He pulled me in, one hand sliding to my waist, grounding me. And before I could stop myself, I was kissing him back.
The walls I kept locked away inside me didn’t fall, but for a moment, I needed to be seen, to be touched, to be known. And somehow, Raithe had always done all of that without asking me to break.
So I kissed him harder. Breathlessly, achingly. My hands searched for him, moving over his shoulders, across his chest, into his hair. I kissed him like I needed him to remember it. Like I couldn’t breathe without it.
Something in him shifted, lightening and brightening, like I had drawn something in him to the surface. He wrapped his arms around me and gently laid me down against the forest floor, hovering above, never breaking the connection. His hand cupped my face as he kissed me again, like I was the only thing that existed.
Then he paused, pulling away just long enough to look at me. His molten-gold eyes burned with something deep, something real, and I couldn’t bear it. I grabbed him by the tunic and pulled him back to me, kissing him again, not wanting to let go.
But Raithe pulled back again, and the look on his face etched itself into me. It was something I knew I’d never forget. He looked every bit the demigod of Vengeance, carved from fire and fury, except for one thing. All except for his eyes.
In them, I saw his heart.
He was offering it to me. He was trusting me to hold it, to protect it. He was waiting. Hoping. For something he’d held onto for years.
He was waiting for me.
And I almost reached for him. I almost let the walls around me fall, the ones I’d built brick by brick to keep myself safe. In that moment, I nearly believed I could be what he needed. That I could be enough.
But then I remembered why the walls were there in the first place.
I wasn’t enough. I never had been.
Raithe would see that eventually. And when he did, I wouldn’t survive what was left of me.
Panic surged through me, and I tore away from him. Whatever I felt for Raithe, I forced it down and buried it deep, like I always did. I scrambled out from beneath him, hands slipping against the moss as I pushed myself free. My breaths came in sharp, uneven gasps. Tears spilled down my cheeks before I could stop them. And I ran straight for the trees, not daring to look back.
Raithe had asked me to stay. And I chose to run.
I was a coward.
A broken sound escaped my throat, something between a sob and a scream. It didn’t even begin to match the weight of what I felt inside.
The only thought echoed through my mind, over and over was:
I am not enough. I am not enough. I am not enough.
Suddenly, a hand yanked my arm back and I cried out. Fingers closed tight around my wrist, pulling hard to spin me around. And there he was.
Raithe.
His face was thunderous, fury written in every line. The image of it made me go pale.
“No,” he seethed through gritted teeth. “I know what you’re doing, Odessa, and I won’t let you do it. Not again.”
His voice shook. “I know the things you tell yourself. I know you think you hate yourself. That you’re not enough. But that isn’t the truth. It never was.” His eyes burned as he spoke. “You believe you have to be punished for the things that have happened to you. You push away anyone who cares because the only person you’ve ever been able to relyon is yourself. And even then, you don’t give yourself the dignity you deserve.”
He stepped closer, his voice rising, the truth pouring out. “You sit in your suffering like it’s armor. You wear it because letting go of it, letting someone in, feels wrong. You think that if you just hurt enough, if you stay alone long enough, maybe it’ll all make sense. Maybe it’ll feel deserved. But I’m not going to let you keep doing this. I won’t watch yourself go numb.”
