This was not the morning for a repeat argument. “Why did you go out to the Dandridge to mess with Clove last night?” I demanded of Aunt Tillie.
“You’re as bad as your mother.” Aunt Tillie added something particularly vile under her breath. Mom frowned at all the curse words strung together. “How many times must I tell you that I wasn’t out torturing Clove last night?” Aunt Tillie snapped. “I didn’t even go out last night.”
“Now who’s boring?” I challenged.
Aunt Tillie’s finger jabbed in my direction. “And you’re on my list. I hope you’re happy.”
Landon snagged another slice of bacon when Mom wasn’t looking and waved it in the air until he got Aunt Tillie’s attention. Then he pointed at it and winked, indicating the curse he wanted her to place on me.
“Nobody is smelling like bacon today,” I warned him.
“Speak for yourself.” He was blasé as he bit into his bacon. “I’m going to smell like bacon in exactly five minutes.”
Mom gave him a dirty look. “No more before breakfast. You’re going to start exuding bacon grease from your pores if you’re not careful.”
Landon merely shrugged. “What were we fighting about again?” he asked to distract everybody once more.
Reading his intentions, I stormed forward and grabbed the platter of bacon from Mom. “Don’t even think about it,” I hissed.
“You can’t tell me what to do,” Aunt Tillie barked at Mom. “Besides, I didn’t do anything.”
“Pick one,” Mom shot back. “Either I can’t tell you what to do or you didn’t do anything.”
“Both!”
I was still confused. “What did she do to Clove?” I asked my mother.
“Apparently she got naked and danced on the ship.” Mom rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t even a full moon. She did a bunch of magic.”
“Clove is making that up, because it didn’t happen.” Aunt Tillie was getting further worked up with each passing second. “I was here all night.”
“Why would she make that up?” Mom folded her arms over her chest and made the same expression she unloaded when I was sixteen and told her that the car must have moved itself because I certainly didn’t do it. “Why would she possibly call first thing this morning just to lie about you?”
“Because she’s a whiner. She’s still mad that I told her she would be the first one that Bigfoot would eat if we ever crossed paths with him. She thinks I called her fat, which I didn’t. She’s just softer than she used to be and Thistle is pure gristle these days. Of course Bigfoot would go for the soft meat.”
I made a face. “Why would you tell her that? You know she’s sensitive because she can’t lose the last five pounds from the pregnancy.”
“That’s why I told her. I mean, come on.” Aunt Tillie rolled her eyes until they landed on Mom again. “Don’t accuse me of something I didn’t do.”
“Whatever.” Mom turned her back on Aunt Tillie and reclaimed the bacon platter. “I can only take so much this early in the morning. She’s going to be the death of me.”
“Don’t tease me with a good time,” Aunt Tillie shot back.
Sensing the need to defuse the bomb that was about to go off in the room, I stepped forward. “Where are Twila and Marnie? Is this the last of the breakfast?”
Mom, her eyes narrow slits of “you messed with the wrong witch,” dragged her focus back to me. “Your aunts are checking in Spencer and Steve.”
I did a double take. “What?”
Even Landon, who was fixated on edging closer to Mom so he could steal another slice of bacon, went ramrod straight. “What are you talking about?”
“They’re checking in,” Mom replied. “Steve said this case was important—too important to be an hour away if something big breaks—so they’re going to be staying here a few days. Thankfully, it’s early in the season and we had rooms available.”
I didn’t know how to respond. I looked to Landon. He was focused on the floor, as if absorbing the news. After a few minutes, he nodded. “Okay, then,” he said. This time he didn’t try to hide it when he reached for the bacon. “Don’t even,” he said when I made a face. “I’m not allowed to say anything when you get into Aunt Tillie’s hidden stash of wine after a hard day. You have to drop your grievance against bacon while my boss is here. That’s the rule.”
“I don’t have a grievance against bacon,” I challenged, glaring when he shoved the whole slice in his mouth and started chewing. “And wine is actually good for you. It has stuff that’s good for your heart and … other healthy stuff in it. It’s basically just grapes.”
“Not the way I make it,” Aunt Tillie said.
