“Yes, apparently, the Assembly Rooms will now allow anyone to subscribe.” Lady Florentia’s voice sounded like nails being dragged across a slate.
Henry glared at her, having had enough of the young woman’s mistreatment of others, especially of people he held dear. “Almack’s would be lucky to have the duchess subscribe. She is one of the finest ladies I have ever met.” Henry took a deep breath, trying to contain his temper. “If you would excuse me.”
He walked over to Julia, who quickly turned away once she noticed him strolling in her direction. He stood in front of her with his gloved hand outstretched. “May I sign your dance card, my lady?”
She stared at him, trepidation clear on her face. Henry could see the no form on her plush lips. Her eyebrows scrunched as if the simple thought of dancing with him was displeasing. Henry could hear the whispers increase around them. Although he had not stayed abreast of the gossips, he knew that residing in the same residence as Julia was probably causing tongues to wag.
“What about Lady Florentia? She doesn’t look happy.” Henry followed the tilt of Julia’s head toward the small family. The lady in question was glaring daggers at him.
He slowly looked away to give Julia his full attention. “I told you, I don’t care about her.” He offered her his hand. “May I have this dance, my lady?”
She analyzed him for a moment before she extended her hand out for him to scrawl his name on her card. “Of course, my lord.”
He scrawled his name on the empty card remembering a time when he had to ensure he signed her card first. There had always been a line of suitors surrounding the St. John ladies that first Season. He could not help but see the vast difference between the past and the present.
He did this to her.
Before he left London, Julia was a rare diamond in society. Though Livie stole the Season by capturing Karrington’s special attention and therefore the curiosity of the entire ton, Julia was just as sought after. But now, she sat among the wallflowers with an empty dance card.
What had he done?
The thought plagued him as he offered her his arm. His heart pounded from being so close to her again after weeks apart. God, he wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her properly, society and anyone else that would object be damned.
The new set began on a waltz. They took their places on the floor. Elijah was dancing with Lady Jerzy, who seemed taken with him.
Henry wrapped his arm around Julia’s waist and tried desperately to forget the last time he had held her so intimately. Without his permission, his member hardened beneath his breeches and he suppressed a groan as it rubbed against his underclothes.
Julia raised her eyes to his, her lips thinned as if she were only dancing with him to be polite. There was no joy on her beautiful face, but what could he do to change that? He wanted to see her alive with mischief and laughter as she once was in his presence. Henry would spend the rest of his life trying to make up for the pain he had caused her, just to see her happy again.
The music began and they glided across the floor in a dance that was almost as perfect as the one they had shared a fortnight ago.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he whispered close to her ear.
“There’s nothing else we have to say to each other.” Her words were cold, final, but the subtle hints of her body told him she didn’t believe them herself. Her voice shook slightly, and her body trembled beneath his fingers.
“I don’t agree with you. I think we have more to say. I have more to say.” He kept his voice low to avoid being overheard. He could feel the heat of her body and wanted to surround himself with it—with her.
Julia went rigid in his arms. “Let what happened between us be our goodbye.”
“What if I can’t say goodbye?” The words were more like a prayer than a statement.
He meant them. He didn’t want to say goodbye to her; not now—not ever.
Her eyes were full of pain and anger and something else. “You’ve already said goodbye, Henry. Let us part on amicable terms. That night was exactly what I needed. It was perfect, but that’s all it was. It meant nothing.” She nibbled on the corner of her mouth.
“It meant something to me.” The weight of the words felt like a boulder on his tongue. He didn’t know what he could do to prove to her that he wanted her.
“You’re too late. You were the one who chose to leave, and now you want to waltz back into my life as if you didn’t crush me like I was nothing but an insignificant bug—”
“No, darling, you could never be insignificant to me.” He was aware that they were gathering attention with their intense conversation.
Julia let out a hollow laugh that sent a chill down his spine. “You’ve already proven that I was insignificant because you left and never looked back. Did you return for me, the woman you supposedly love?” She paused briefly before she continued. “No, you didn’t come back for me. You came back for your own selfish reasons.”
“I came back to reclaim my life. To reclaim you.” Henry’s eyes held hers captive. He desperately wanted to show her, to prove to her, that she was his reason for everything.
When the music finally came to a stop, the other dancers all clapped happily. Julia stared at him, her eyes empty and devoid of happiness. Henry felt as if a part of him had died, seeing her so unaffected by anything he did.
“That was our goodbye, Henry.” Julia turned away from him and found her way back to where the other wallflowers sat.
