“It seems your heart knew who he truly was before your head did,” Iris piped up.
“Well said, Iris dear,” Sylvia murmured.“And it worked out for the better, now that we have his assistance in recovering the jewels.”She gave Heloise a long look.“What happens between you and Mr.Sinclaire when this is over is anyone’s guess.”
Why did her heart leap at that?It was obvious things were over between them, that he would never be able to forgive her for what she had done.And that she would never be able to forgive herself.
“There will be nothing between us then,” she said.“I assure you.”
Sylvia’s lips kicked up at one corner, as if to say, “We shall see.”Before Heloise could respond, Sylvia leaned forward.
“But we have a mere three days until the masquerade.If Mr.Sinclaire cannot recover the jewels by that time, weshall have to put our plan into motion to flush out the villain who has taken them.That will be our last chance to save Julia.And so, though Mr.Sinclaire may come through for us before then, there is still a very high chance we shall have to trigger our plans for that night.”
Julia.Of course.Once more Heloise had lost sight of what this whole endeavor was about.Though this time it had been due to the faintest hope of a future for her and Ethan.A hope that, now that it had broken through the hard outer shell of self-disgust that had contained it, seemed to be growing strong roots that attached to her heart and would not let go.
“Yes, our plans,” she said in an attempt to control her quickly spiraling thoughts.But as she and the other Widows went over in meticulous detail everything that must happen the night of the masquerade, there was a part of Heloise that was thinking of the days after, and that hoped-for, yet hopeless, future with Ethan.
Ethan’s footsteps were heavy as he ascended the stairs to Gavin’s apartment, a place he’d certainly had no intention of visiting.After his devastating visit with Heloise, however, his feet had brought him here through no clear will of his own.His heart pounded in his chest as he climbed the familiar treads.The rooms, in a fashionable neighborhood in Mayfair, the place his extravagant brother had been infinitely proud of, should have been given up upon his death.There was no reason, really, to pay the exorbitant rent when no one lived in the place.
Yet Ethan had not been able to let it go.No matter what Gavin might have done, he had still been Ethan’s brother, and Ethan had never lost his love for him even through theyears of hurt.
He stopped at the door and closed his eyes, taking a steadying breath before, turning the key in the lock, he opened it wide.He had not been back here since his brother’s death three years before, unable to set foot within these walls that Gavin had called home.Yet he had made certain to pay not only the rent but also for the meticulous upkeep of the place.Every week someone came and dusted and swept and made certain the rooms were aired.At first it had seemed a better solution than covering the furniture in shrouds.It would have felt like burying his brother all over again.
He saw now, however, what a mistake that had been.Everything was just as Gavin had left it, from the chair pulled out from the table to the book lying haphazardly on the sofa cushion to the quill on the desk, dried ink still coating the nib.He went there now, picked up that quill, gripped it tight in his hand, as if he could still feel the warmth of his brother’s touch through it.Leaving this room as a kind of shrine might have lessened Ethan’s grief at the time—or, at least, not added to it.But it had also prevented him from truly laying his brother to rest in his heart.Standing here like this, surrounded by things that still held Gavin’s energy within them, he felt that at any moment his brother would step into the room with his crooked smile and hearty laugh.
Just thinking of that now made his heart seize.He dropped the pen to the desk and rubbed at his chest, willing the ache to go away.But it did not, instead spreading until it filled every inch of him.Gavin would not be coming back, he told himself brutally.It was something he should have come to terms with by now.Ignoring everything that had to do with his brother, however, rejecting his pain, had onlymade things harder in the present.
His head swam, his vision clouding and his throat closing.He swayed, reaching out to steady himself, leaning heavily on the desk as he did so.Emotions bombarded him, those damned feelings he had buried since learning of Gavin’s betrayal and death soon after, when his world, that world he had so carefully built, had come crashing down about his head.It had been a mistake to come here, a mistake to face this most agonizing part of his life.And all because Heloise had opened his heart up, that traitorous organ that should have remained closed but was now left exposed.He had to get out of here, had to find a way to close himself off again before he was completely destroyed by it.
But as he turned to go, ready to stumble his way from this place and never, ever return, the front door swung wide, and Gavin himself stood in the entrance.
He stared in disbelief, his mind unable to wrap itself around what he was seeing as he was transported three years into the past.Until Gavin moved, stepping over the threshold, and Ethan’s fevered mind finally recognized the difference in movement, the slight dissimilarity in features, the bulkier build.And then the figure spoke, the deeper tone shocking Ethan back to the present.
“Ethan, what the hell are you doing here?”
“Isaac,” he breathed.His body gave out and he lurched sideways, his hip crashing into the desk.
Isaac was at his side in an instant, arm about him as he steadied him.“Are you well?What happened?”
Ethan was tempted to lean into his brother, to garner some strength from his last remaining family, this man who had been the scared, wide-eyed boy he’d raised after their father’s abandonment and their mother’s death.
His senses, however, were coming back to him, that familiar armor that had protected him for so long.So what if there were dents and kinks in it, if one well-placed arrow could find its way past his defenses?Right now, in this moment, it gave him the protection he needed.
“I’m well,” he replied gruffly, pulling away from Isaac, taking a step to put some distance between them.His brother stood frozen, arms extended in the air like a marionette’s before he let them drop heavily to his sides.
“I did not expect to see you here,” he said, voice quiet.“You have not been back since… well, since.”
“No, I have not.”Ethan narrowed his eyes, a sudden realization dawning.“But what areyoudoing here?”
Isaac shrugged.“I come from time to time, to figure things out.”His lips twisted.“Though maybe it hasn’t been as healthy for me as I believed it to be.”
“None of this is healthy,” Ethan muttered, looking about the place, heart heavy.He let loose a harsh breath.“It’s time to let it go.”
Isaac gave him a sharp glance.“You will get rid of the apartment?”
“It’s the best solution, don’t you think?”
“I do,” Isaac replied slowly, carefully, his eyes wary as he considered Ethan.As if he feared one wrong word would act like a grenade thrown into the tentative calm that was between them.“But why after all this time?”
Why indeed.Heloise’s face swam up in his mind, the gentle compassion in her eyes that told of understanding and commiseration.No, he told himself fiercely,she has been playing me all along.Everything about her has been false, including those feigned emotions.No matter how harshly he berated himself, however, he could not force himself to believe that those moments of their affair hadbeen faked.
