“Two duchesses, actually. And I am acquainted with several others.” She chuckled at the absurdity of it, urging Phineas down from her shoulder, stroking a finger over his bright green back. “It is funny, isn’t it, that I have not been able to completely escape that world, no matter how hard I tried to?”
He did not speak for some time as they walked on, side by side. Finally, he asked, “Do you ever regret leaving that life behind?”
Without meaning to, a laugh burst free from her lips. “God no. I’m heartily glad I left. I would never wish to return to it. Ever.”
“I had thought perhaps your friends would have changed your mind about returning to the aristocracy.”
Again a laugh bubbled free. “I assure you, Lady Tesh is a mere outlier. And while I am happy that my friends have found happiness with their dukes, I would not ever want to have those societal strictures on my life again. I’m happy, and independent. What need have I for a title and all the rules that come with it? No, I’m glad I left it all behind.”
He was quiet again, an almost heaviness in the silence. When she looked up at him, he was gazing at her with a somberness that stunned her.
“Iain?”
“You are amazing, Seraphina.”
Well, that was certainly unexpected. Flustered, she returned Phineas to her shoulder. “Nonsense.”
“It is not nonsense. You are amazing.” He took her hand and squeezed her fingers. “You have built this incredible life from nothing. You have a successful business, good friends, your sisters are safe. You should be proud of all you have accomplished. I know I am.”
She stared at him, struck mute. While her sisters had always been vocal in their gratitude, she had shrugged it aside. She had not done it for their gratitude; she had done it to give them decent lives. And she saw now that it had been in no small part because she had felt she’d owed it to them. Though she did not doubt that what she had done in absconding with them from their father’s home had been right, she had felt guilty for taking them from lives where they had not had to worry about money or a roof over their heads or food in their bellies.
The pride shining in Iain’s eyes and threading through his words, however, affected her in ways she could not have ever imagined, the emotions overwhelming her. Overcome, needing to change the subject before she lost her composure altogether, she tried ignoring the new glow in her chest, even as she cleared her throat and extracted her fingers from his. “But enough about me,” she said firmly. “Why don’t we talk about you. You mentioned you had found family?”
The question did what she had wanted, in that it effectively distracted Iain from her. But his response was much stronger than she had intended. He halted in his tracks, his shock palpable. She remembered then his reaction when he had mentioned it before. He had appeared dismayed,and she had not pursued it, telling herself he would tell her when and if he was ready.
Now, however, with the new intimacy between them she found she had the deep and insistent need to know how he had found them, what they were like, where they had been during all his years of loneliness. And, most importantly, that he would not be alone when they parted.
If only they never had to.The rogue thought burst through her mind, rebelling against her certainty that they could never be together. She focused on all the reasons why this closeness must be temporary between them: her business, which she had worked so hard to build; the life she had with her sisters; the horrible, awful secrets she could never share with him. But those reasons were growing dimmer with each moment she spent with him.
Blessedly he spoke then, effectively stopping the traitorous thoughts in their tracks.
“You dinnae wish to know about them,” he replied gruffly, reaching down and yanking a long piece of grass from the thick tuft at his feet, tearing it into long strips that he let the wind carry away.
Seraphina, shaken from her moment of weakness, reached up and scratched behind Phineas’s neck as he leaned against the side of her head. Of course they would still complete this divorce and go their separate ways. She was not a gambler like him, would not take a chance on a whim. She had a safe, steady life to return to. This trip changed nothing.
“Actually,” she finally replied when she realized she had stayed quiet for far too long, “I would very much like to know about your family.” When he remained silent, looking out over the white sand beach to the churning sea beyond, thankfully oblivious to the strange moment of uncertaintyshe’d had, she decided a bit of prodding was in order. “You mentioned a grandmother and a cousin?”
His lips quirked in reluctant amusement as he cast her a sideways glance. “You willnae give up on it, will you?”
She smiled. “What do you think?”
He chuckled, a rough sound, though not nearly as rough and unused as it had been when he had first arrived on Synne. No, now it fit him, like broken-in boots, comfortable and absolutely perfect.
“Verra well,” he replied. “But let us get comfortable.” With that he removed his jacket, laying it on the ground, and helped her to sit on it.
And Seraphina, who never put any stock in gallantry of any kind, felt cherished by the care he took in getting her settled. To her further shock, she actually enjoyed the attention. Why? She was strong and independent. She didn’t care for such things; they invariably came with the caveat that something else was expected, some stroke of the man’s ego or simpering on the woman’s part. Or worse.
Yet that didn’t stop the glow of warmth in her chest as he finished making certain she was comfortable and sat beside her.
“So you wish to know about my grandmother and cousin, do you?” he asked quietly, once more looking out to the waves. Seraphina studied his profile, her gaze tracing the strong-but-crooked line of his nose, proof of a break or two in his youth; at the stubborn jut of his chin with the faintest hint of beard showing; at the lines bracketing his mouth and eyes, lines that had not been there thirteen years ago. And she realized he had never been more handsome or more dear to her.
She cleared her throat, shaken by the realization, andlowered Phineas to her skirts to distract herself from such thoughts. Thoughts she had no business thinking. She and Iain would part tomorrow, after all.
Tomorrow. It suddenly seemed so very close. Too close.
“Yes,” she replied, perhaps louder than was warranted. “Tell me everything. How did you find them after so long? Where were they? Why were you never told of them? Are they from your mother’s or your father’s side? What are they like?”
He chuckled again, and the sound filled her up. “You have a good many questions for me to answer, lass. Verra well. Where do I start?”
