“Jesus, Shonda! When will you take the hint?I don’t want you here.” His eyes were darker and uncaring, as if he truly meant what he said. And perhaps he did. Mason had never asked her to visit.
Her chest ached. Literally hurt to breathe.
She’d take his “hint” and run with it, though. The truth was, they were over before they’d started, because he’d never allow more. Never let someone else close enough to alter any aspect of his well-organized, lonely life. His true feelings on the matter penetrated her thick skull. Mason, like her boyfriends before him, and her parents before them, didn’t want her around. How long did it take a normal person to recognize the truth? After all, he’d been hammering it home from day one.
Stupidly, she’d allowed herself to live in a pipe dream, pretending he cared. The small, seemingly loving gestures had contradicted his claim to be a free agent, allowing her optimistic nature to feel a small measure of hope.
With a jerky nod, she spun away, avoiding eye contact with Mason’s mother, who stood gaping in the doorway. Doubtless, she was equally shocked by his behavior. No mother liked to believe her son was a complete asshole in addition to being a moron.
Connie would be wrong—herson was.
“Excuse me, please,” Shonda said with a tight smile.
Of course, Connie blocked the door, and unless Shonda intended to shove her to the ground, getting around her was impossible.
“Hold it together! Hold it together,” she mentally chanted. Focusing on the refrain enabled her to hold back the tears burning behind her lids.
“Shonda, honey,” Connie Sharp tried to do what she did best: manage the situation.
“Mrs. Sharp, would you please let me by?” she asked, low and desperate.
Wasn’t it bad enough she’d been humiliated by her own actions and Mason’s words? Did she have to be trapped by a meddlesome mother, too?
“He didn’t mean?—”
“Yes, he damned well did,” she snapped, anger bubbling to the surface. “Now, please, let me pass.”
Perhaps the desperation cut through Connie’s stubborn desire to see her eldest son settled and happy. Unfortunately for her, being settled was at direct odds with what Mason wanted. Regardless, Connie silently stepped aside, allowing Shonda a glimpse of freedom.
But as she was ready to make good her escape, Mason’s rough voice reached her.
“Shonda.”
Her treacherous heart slammed on the brakes, halting her retreat. But pride, bless it, refused to let her turn around.
“I’m sorry. If there was anyone worth changing my mind for, it would’ve been you.”
The sincerity was a baseball bat to the knees. He probably meant what he said, but it was zero consolation. Without offering a response, she walked away. But a few spasmodic steps later, the tight rein on her temper snapped. She charged back to within inches of his arrogant face.
“You know what?Fuck you!Fuck your platitudes and condescending bullshit. I don’t want or need it,” she said. The sharp tip of her nail pounded his pec with every point she made. “I feel sorry for you. One day, after you’ve shoved away everyone who might’ve tolerated your grumpy, narcissistic ass, you’ll be alone. Life will have passed you by. And you’ll think of all we could’ve had. You’re going to know true loneliness.”
She breathed deeply before saying, “But me? I’m going to meet a great guy who cherishes me. We’ll marry, maybe have a few babies. And when old age rolls around, we’ll be surrounded by our extended family. I’ll never spare you another thought after today. This”—she wagged a finger between them—“will have been long forgotten. So don’t sweat it, Mason.”
As grand monologues went, hers was excellent. And had she not been crying, perhaps he would’ve believed her.
“If it helps you sleep at night, sweetheart, then that’s what you should tell yourself.” He wasn’t cold or mean when he said it, which was worse than a brutal retort.
“I should’ve saved the bullet and let Christie finish you,” she said coldly.
His shocked silence felt way too good.
When Shonda swept out, Connie made no move to stop her. Maybe she recognized Shonda would mow her right the fuck down. Perhaps she realized, like everyone who knew him, Mason reallywasa lost cause.
As she stalked down the hallway, Shonda had never felt so alone. There was no running to Erica with her troubles. The last thing she needed was someone else’s stupid drama.
Shonda considered seeking out Dane, but it would only cause additional strife in his family. His bruises were uncomfortable to stomach.
She stumbled.
