Christian pulled another disinfectant wipe from the container, sparing only the briefest glance in her direction. “Yeah, she’s great.” He attacked the stove with the wipe.
Mom came up beside him, stopping his cleaning with a hand onhis arm. “What’s wrong? I’ve never known you to willingly volunteer to clean my kitchen.”
“I’m fine.”
His muttered comment earned him one of her signature Mom looks. “Honey, I’ve had the privilege of watching you grow up for twenty-seven years. I know when you’re lying to me. Is it Paul?”
“Paul’s great.”
“Then what is it?”
Christian sighed, turning to face her. “I don’t know, Mom. Everything’s just happening so fast. You spend two weeks with the guy and now we’re meeting his family? Are you going to call me tomorrow to say you’re getting married?” He went back to furiously attacking the burners with the wipe.
Mom stayed silent for a moment before a lengthy exhale preceded her next comment. “I see. You’re thinking about Dad.”
How does she do that?Her ability to read his mind had always freaked him out. He’d never been able to keep anything from her. If she were a superhero, reading minds would be her power.
“It kind of seems like you’re trying to replace him,” Christian admitted softly.
“Honey, look at me.”
Slowly, he turned toward her, and she gently cupped his upper arms with her hands. “Your father was my first real love. I could never replace him. I’m sorry that’s what you think.”
Christian swallowed hard, doing a poor job of keeping his sadness at bay. “Do you still miss him?”
Mom touched his cheek. “Every single day. Most nights, I fall asleep thinking about him. When we’re all together, I wish he were here too. And I miss him whenever you and Dani do things to remind me of him.”
“I remind you of him?”
“So much.” Mom smiled. “Especially now that you have your own kids. You’d give anything for your sweet family. Just like your father. Paul’s the same way. I think that’s what drew me to him so quickly. Neither of us are trying to replace our spouses. But there’s a comfortin sharing that grief with someone who understands what it feels like to lose your first love. I am falling for Paul. But it’s a different kind of love than it was with Dad. And that will never go away, no matter where things lead with Paul.”
Her words hit him like a Mack truck, taking his breath away. For years, he’d doubted that lasting love existed. That emotion, as forceful as it might be at the start, always fizzled out eventually.
But here was his mother, proclaiming her continued love for her late husband, even after fifteen years without him. That realization sent his mind cycling through more examples of lasting love. Tyler had shown his devotion to his wife on many occasions, both in word and action. Even Brad, a guy who Christian would never have expected to settle down with anyone, proved that with the right person, true love could change someone for the better.
Maybe his problem wasn’t that it didn’t exist. Maybe it was that he trusted the wrong person, including himself. And that one mistake made it impossible to fall in love with the right woman.
Until now.
Feeling lighter, he took his mother in his arms. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a grump.”
“It’s okay.” She patted his chest. “I handled your mood swings during puberty. I can take a little grumpiness now and then.”
“Mo-om,” he groaned, smiling at the laugh bubbling from her. “I’ll try harder to keep an open mind about all this.”
“Thank you, son. I hope you can think of Paul as a friend. That’s all I’m asking. I’ll never expect you to call him Dad.”
“Good, because I’m not going to.” He stared out the window at all the people roaming the yard. He spotted the girls playing soccer with Paul’s sons and a few grandkids. Hallie sat in casual conversation with Jenna.
Mom followed his gaze out the window. “Maybe one of these days, we can double date with you and Hallie.”
Christian tossed a side eye down at her. “There’s no way to spin that so it’s not weird.”
She smacked his chest with the back of her hand, making a noisethat was half laugh, half gasp. “Don’t get smart with me, young man. I changed your diapers.”
“You always hold that over me like I had a choice.”
“That reminds me, I need to go find the photo albums. I’m sure Hallie would love to see all those gems of you growing up. Perhaps the one when you got into my mascara and smeared it all over your?—”
