Nine years.
Do you remember the day you returned to me? I thought it must be a dream. You looked different than my memories of you. Older. There were tears in your eyes, and I thought for certain I must be dead, too. For what else could explain you appearing before me?
Catherine knew where you were. She wrote to you when it was safe, and you came for me. You came, and together, we ran.
It’s been thirty-two years since that day, my love. Thirty-two years tucked away in this home all our own. I can see you now through the window, tending to our gardens, the bees flitting around your head. A smile sits on your face, and I ache with it. I love you more than I have ever loved another. I love you as only I can.
Wholly. Absolute.
I suspect we have many years yet left, my heart. We have not much, but we do not need it. Our roof, our hearth, our bed. It is enough. I would not change a single facet of this life we’ve shared.
I cannot claim to know what waits for us when we leave this world. But I beg of you to make the same promise you gave me that night so very long ago. No matter where, no matter when, be it swiftly that you return to me.
From now until the last star blinks its final breath,
Your beloved Abraham.
My vision blurs as the letter drops to my thigh. I can barely breathe, my lungs refusing to cooperate, my heart held in a vise. Caspian sets the letter aside as he crawls swiftly onto my lap, Shelly scrambling. He settles his weight on me, his hands on the sides of my neck. His eyes are wide, fathomless blue.
“Breathe. Lee,breathe.”
I pull in a shuddering gasp, the pain of it sharp in my chest.
Caspian lets out a breath, his thumbs running soothing circles over my pulse. “Again.”
I follow his instruction, forcing my lungs to inhale. A tear slips down my cheek, and he kisses it away, tucking himself against me. I wrap my arms around him tight, my entire body shaking.
“I know.” Caspian’s voice is quiet. “I know, Lee.”
“Was that…” God, how do I even say it? “Was that…me? It felt like…”
It felt so familiar. Like a recollection of a dream. My rational mind is telling me there’s no way. It’s impossible. But my heart…
Caspian lets out the softest of sounds, a laugh almost, but not remotely cruel. It’srelief. “Yes.”
“That was you and me? I…”Christ. “Who were they?”
“Jasper and Abraham.”
“Were they the same? I mean, are we always the same?”
Caspian leans back, his thumbs rubbing the moisture off my cheeks. “No, not exactly. Think of it like…nature versus nurture. Every person is shaped by their experiences. We’re no different.”
I shake my head slowly, the ache in my chest sharp. “They had a sad story.”
Caspian’s gaze holds mine. “Only in part.”
I imagine they’re not the only ones who went through heartache, but I can’t bring myself to ask. Not right now.
“They’re memories, aren’t they?” I realize, voicing my thought aloud. “All you’ve seen. All you will see. The…visions. They’re memories of the lives you’ve lived?”
Caspian’s expression is near anguished, even as he smiles. “Yes, they are.”
“And the future?Jesus. Actually, no. I’m not sure I can handle trying to wrap my head around non-linear time right now, so maybe don’t answer that just yet.”
He chuckles lightly, his fingers threading through my hair. It’s a soothing touch, as grounding for me as I suspect it may be for him.
“Do you always remember?”
