A relieved sigh pushes past my lips. Meeting with these men is the first step toward negotiating peace between us. Thoughthey’ve been quiet recently, until we have a deal, I’m counting my blessings.
Too many times in the history of this area have Irish gangs ended up in feuds with each other. Those wars only end once every member of a gang has been wiped from this earth. We’re better off finding a way to work with the Monahans instead of against them.
I’ve waited a good long while for this meeting. Immediately, I send a confirmation text to Cormac and give Wolfe an update with instructions. We have one chance to make a good impression. We can’t fuck this up.
A knock comes at my door, drawing my attention. It opens, and Ravenna peeks inside before I have a chance to respond.
“Are you terribly busy?” she asks.
I smile at my wife. “I’m never too busy for you.”
“I know, but I always like to ask.” She returns my grin, and steps inside. “I saw the doctor earlier today.”
I practically fly out of my chair in my haste to go to her. My hands skim her body, seeking the slightest injury or reason she’d have to go to the doctor—and not inform me about it first.
“What’s wrong?” My tone comes out harsher than I meant.
She grips my forearms to still my wandering hands. “Nothing’s wrong. Actually, I’m as healthy as can be.”
“Then why visit the doctor?”
“Because, given our ages and general health, I should be pregnant by now and I’m not. So I finally decided to see if I had any fertility issues.” Her gaze catches mine. “I don’t. There’s absolutely no issue with my reproductive organs.”
I hold her around the waist. “That’s good.”
“It is. It just means… I’m not the reason we haven’t started a family yet.”
Seeing her point, I frown.
“Well that’s—” I clear my throat. “I’ll schedule an appointment to get checked out.”
I had considered that the problem might be me, though I didn’t want to think about it. Now that I have to, the answer is pretty obvious. The things my ex did to me… She very well could have left me damaged in a permanent way.
I might not be able to give my wife a child.
That realization punches me in the gut. I tighten my grip on her to steady myself as the room spins.
“Cian, are you all right?” Ravenna’s worried face floats before my eyes. “Cian?”
I blink several times to clear my head. Gradually, the world rights itself.
Grunting, I say, “Yeah. I’m okay.”
Releasing her, I drop into a nearby chair, my head in my hands. What if I can’t give us a family? What if I’m damaged beyond repair? Will Ravenna still love me when it will only ever be the two of us together, no children and no grandchildren?
“Cian, talk to me. What’s going on? I didn’t mean to make this awkward. Or to hurt you in any way.” She smooths back my hair.
I look up at her. “You’re not. I’m fine. We’ll figure this all out.”
Worry fills her blue-grey eyes. “If you’re sure you’re okay.”
“I am.” Taking a deep breath, I sit upright. “How’s your cousin doing?” I’ll talk about anything for a change of subject, even Ravenna’s dramatic extended family.
Roman and Sophia seemed happy when we attended their nuptials. When they came back from their honeymoon all hell broke loose. Since then, Sophia’s been living at her parents’ house and Ravenna spends a lot of her time visiting.
Apparently, Roman did something unforgivable, but I don’t have the mental capacity to get too involved with all of that when I’m trying to keep my own empire alive and thriving.
What I do know is that the peace between the Italians and the Russians is precarious at best. But that all went up in smoke as soon as the engagement between Sophia and Nikolai ended.
