“I guess that’s possible. It would be easier for someone with access though,” she points out.
I grunt in agreement. “We did thorough background checks before hiring any of the staff. As for my men, none of them knew Fionathatwell. If it was my brother’s things around the house, then I’d turn my suspicions on them.”
Ravenna’s quiet for a moment as we continue eating dinner. Her explanation of what’s been going on makes complete sense. Even so, it’s no excuse for my actions. I’m hesitant to apologize to her again, except for the fact that she’s treating me differently tonight. She hasn’t been this open in far too long.
I decide to get to the point and tell her the one thing that may break through her reserved demeanor.
“I’m serious about seeing a therapist. I know I told you on the jet, but even though we’ve sort of figured out what may be happening, I’m still going to go. I want to be the best version of myself, for both of us. It’s become clear to me in the past few weeks that I do need professional help. I fucking hate to admit this, but I can’t figure this shit out on my own.” I swallow down my wine.
I hate feeling so damn vulnerable, incompetent, and unable to fight my own demons.
Ravenna reaches for my hand, entwining our fingers. “It’s not weak to admit that you need outside help. In fact, it’s the opposite. You’re strong enough to seek out help in order to vanquish your inner demons.”
I hate the thought of her viewing me asbroken. Though, neither her eyes or her smile hold a hint of pity. She actually believes that by seeking out a professional, I’m showing my strength. Not weakness.
The vice around my chest loosens. I’m going to get professional help, hunt down the person responsible for fucking with our relationship and gut them, and above all else, I’m going to make this up to Ravenna.
I’ve majorly fucked up twice in our years together. The first time when I abandoned her at her family home. The second time when my jealousy and suspicions overtook me and I did horrible things.
There won’t be a third time.
CHAPTER 48
Ravenna
“I’m touring Italy with Gin. That girl does not takenofor an answer,” Elena tells me on the phone.
“You mean you’re with Gin and Blake?” I ask. Why would Gin be in Italy by herself when she was so recently married?
“Nope. Just us girls. Apparently, Blake’s on her shit list, and Gin’s getting her revenge on him. I’m helping her, too. In all honesty, I’m glad for a reason to get out of the house and see a slice of the world. We’ve been staying at the best hotels and you wouldn’t believe the food we’ve eaten. Gin knows so much about the culinary arts. We’ve been putting the top tier restaurants to the test.”
“I’m happy that you’re having a good time.” A trip like that seems very outside of Elena’s comfort zone but maybe she’s finally decided to rejoin the world. Ginevra’s so full of life, I hope she’ll be a good influence on my sister.
Though a fallout with her husband this soon into their fake marriage concerns me a bit. Not that I’m one to give marriage advice, or pass any judgements on other people’s relationships.
I wish I could tour Italy as a way to deal with my problems. Instead I’m back at home. No work life. No normal friends. Still no family of my own.
At this point, I’m hesitant about bringing a child into our lives. Until we have a stable relationship again, I don’t want to start a family. Though I’m wondering if any marriage is always stable. Maybe the ups and downs are simply part of life.
Cian’s been doing better since we had the house not only cleaned, but aired out. The entire atmosphere of the place has changed for the better.
We’ve both been discreetly trying to uncover who’s behind the perfume and that necklace. Cian reviewed the security footage going back weeks, but hasn’t found anything of note. With a, sort of, rational explanation behind it all, he’s been much calmer and more focused.
And true to his word, he’s been seeing a therapist. Which makes me greatly relieved—not to mention hopeful. I know progress will take time, but that’s okay.
Unfortunately, all evidence points to an outside intruder being the one behind the mysterious Fiona haunting. So why haven’t they been caught by our security system?
“Ven, are you still there?” Elena asks, and I realize I’ve been zoning out.
“Yeah, sorry, just a lot on my mind.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I sigh. “Not really. No. Look, I should go. You have fun and try to keep Gin from getting into too much trouble.”
“I will. Love you.”
“Love you too. Bye.” I end the call and flop back on the chaise in the library. I feel like I’m back to square one on trying to figure out what to do with my life. If I had even an ounce of the talent of my cousins, I’d be thrilled. Sophia’s a junior getting her Art History degree. Arianna’s turned out to be quite the eventorganizer, she even did Gin’s wedding, and it was beautiful. Even Gin, the wild card, turns out she’s a brilliant chef in the making.
