But now Alex towers in front of me. He had finally started getting out and about around town. A stark difference from how he was only ever seen when picking up his car pieces from the delivery guy. I’m happy for him and know it’s all thanks to Freya and the PTSD facility he went off to.
"'Sup, Alex," I ask before fleeing to the coffee machine, attempting to avoid him like the plague. He sits at the counter. I look over at him; his ever-present baseball cap is on. Although he's made amazing progress since he went away, I can tell he still struggles with a few things. While he might be comfortable enough to be himself, scars and all, around some people, he’s clearly not comfortable here, and I feel a little bad. I sigh. I think I know the reason he’s here.
“Kayla—” He sighs. “I feel like an asshole.”
“Why? Did you scare some children again?” I smile, trying to ease him.
“Look—” He scratches his chin. “It's not my business what you do or why you do it." I already don't like where this conversation is going. "What's done is done; it can't be changed. I shouldn’t put it on you for even a second.”
I place the towel I've been wiping glasses with on the table and firmly plant my hands on the bar in front of him. I adore Alex, but now that I know the truth, I’m past putting up with these lies. For God’s sake, he thought I was to blame for that night? I’m sure he knows about Alicia. I dread the thought that, in his mind, I was somehow at fault for such a horrible thing. “What exactly don’t you want to put on me, Alex?”
“Kayla—" His jaws ticks; it's such an Alex tell. "You know… that you ratted Justin out." Now, after all those years, he finally says it out loud. He kept quiet when I needed to know why. I was harassed and abused and kept wondering, quite loudly, mind you, why Justin hated me. But now it seems like all the stoppers have been removed from everyone’s mouths.O-okay.
I feel my face harden and my jaw clenches. My eyes shoot ice. “I didn’t rat him out.” I inch closer to him over the counter. Leaning on my elbows for support, I hiss my next words, puncturing him with every one of them. “I didnotcall the cops on him. I helped Mark get to his friend’s car because he was halfdead. If I was ten minutes later, Justin would have facedmuchdifferent charges.” He tries to say something, but I silence him with a raised hand and a stern look on my face. “I’m only gonna say it once because I’mdonebeing treated like an outcast for something I never did.First, it was with my sister and my mom. Because of them and their ways, I’ve been called a town whore, trailer trash, and a home wrecker. Fuck, Iamtrailer trash. I have no formal education and no future prospects. But I’veneverbeen a whore.” I hiss at him while his eyes bolt between mine. “I thought you were one of the few who believed I’m innocent. Of everything I’ve been accused of. Who actually cared about me and looked at me like a living, breathing human being who wouldn’t lie about not knowing what happened. Who deserved the truth. But I was wrong, wasn’t I, Alex? You saw me as a pity case. And then, after whatever youthinkhappened, you were just being nice for Freya’s sake.” By the look on his face, I’ve just hit the bullseye. “So, here’s a newsflash, Alex. I wasn’t the one calling the cops on Justin. Instead of looking for somebody to blame, how about you look deeper and ask Justin what really happened that night, huh? I bet you don’t know all the details since you weren’t fuckin’ there.” I nearly yell the last sentence. I can feel a few curious glances on me. I bet the motherfuckers are wishing they had popcorn.
His jaw is locked, his eyes are narrowed, and he doesn’t say a word. Maybe I overdid it a little bit, but I’m truly, one hundred percent done. I’ll be getting my stuff in order and getting out of this town; consequences and guilt be damned.
“Kayla,” his voice is quiet, “all the evidence says it was you.”
"How about my word, huh?" My nostrils flare. I’m positive I look like an enraged bull three seconds short from charging at him and knocking his stubborn head into the counter. “Does it mean anything?”
“We haven’t really known you that well.” His voice is a little defensive.
“And youstill don’t. Talk to Justin, Alex, not me.” I grab the towel from the bar like a weapon and grind my teeth, stopping myself from spitting anything else out. Maybe I should just bite into the towel, so I don't bite his neck like a rabid squirrel over a fallen nut.
Alex clearly came here to talk about that uncomfortable millisecond moment at his house. Clearly, Justin hasn’t spoken to him yet. For all I know, Justin still doesn’t believe me. To think of it… I used to crush on that guy. Crush like crazy! He was the only man who ever awoke anything in me. I’m a mental case for accepting the treatment he was giving me for so long. Still so hopeful for a happily ever after. That he would turn out to be Snow White who wakes up from my kiss. Yep. I'm done pinning for a guy who treats me like garbage. I'm going to a bar tonight and getting laid by a perfect, sexy stranger. I don’t care that we don’t have those in Little Hope.Strangers, I mean. Especially perfect sexy ones. A girl can dream.
Alex stands up. A moment of hesitation lingers in the air before he strolls to the door without a second glance.
Marina comes out from the kitchen. “It’s time you put everybody in their place.” She says with a nod.
“And get the fuck out of this town.” I nod.
“And get the fuck out of this town.” She parrots with a smile. But then the smile vanishes. “What are you going to do about Maddie and Caroline?”
I sigh. “I haven’t thought that far. I’ll still be sending money, that’s for sure. Not like I can avoid it. As for me not physically being here… It’s not like I have tea parties with them. I can send money from anywhere in the world. Because that’s all they need.” I shrug, hopeful and sad at the same time.
“Don’t let the sins of others hold you from flying, Kayla. You’re destined for far better things than to be the punching bag for the whole town.” I look at her wide-eyed—that’s the most philosophic thing I’ve ever heard her say. “I still don’t agree with you sending the money. What?” She notices my frown. “I don’t. I have no idea why you’re doing it. Well, I suppose I knowwhybut I don’t think you should. They use you.” She shakes her head.
“I thought you loved this town.” I give her a cheeky smile, letting the other part slide—we’ll never agree on that one.
“I do.” She nods. “But I love you more.” And with that bomb, she retires back to the kitchen.
My eyes are misty. It’s the first time in my entire life I’ve been told that somebody loves me. The first time. I furiously blink back tears. The words hold even more meaning since Marina has never said them out loud, even though I've always known she loves me.
When I’m finally composed and ready, I go to clean off the tables. The last few people have left, and we’re about to close.
On the drive home, I half expect to see Justin in my chair next to my trailer. But he’s not. And he’s not there the next day. Or the day after.
I haven’t seen or heard from him or Alex the whole week. Freya stopped by a couple times and offered to do something together, but every time I was busy (yep, so busy avoiding everybody), so she decided to give me space. I feel a little guilty for not sharing my plans with her, but honestly, she doesn’t need me either. After the last encounter with Alex, I don't think I'd be very welcome in their house, and I don't want her to feel weird in the middle of this mess. She has a lot on her own plate. I know I was harsh with Alex, but it came from a place of disappointmentI had really hoped he believed in me.
ChapterSixteen
KAYLA
A whole week has passed, and I've lost all hope of ever reconciling with Alex or fixing the situation with Justin. To be completely honest, I've been harassed by him and his brother for so long that I need some sort of closure. An apology would be nice, too. One I wouldn’t accept right away, demanding another one. I want groveling.
I drive up to my trailer after the Sunday shift when I notice a big familiar truck waiting for me outside my home. I can feel my heart dropping into my belly, forming a tight knot of anticipation. What will I get today: the desired groveling or another knife in the spine?
