Though I think fifty to sixty percent of his verbal assault was fueled by the fact his boss met me for two seconds and went on about how I deserve better, and to give him a call so he could take me out to dinner as soon as I took out the trash.
My tattered self-esteem managed to cling to that interaction, and the Barbie comparison. That, and I managed to avoid sliding into a potentially dangerous pit of despair courtesy of a girl's night with Cinder and Red after we got off shift from the Poison Apple. They plied me with a new cocktail they made in my honor, ‘The Golden Ratio,’ then took me out dancing until dawn. No one can be sad with a curated buzz while dancing to Taylor Swift’s “We are Never Getting Back Together.” I suspect Cinder or Red had a little chat with the DJ.
I’m opening a new chapter and in doing that, I can face up to my own part in the toxic relationship. “It should have been a tipoff when Lawrence went on in the beginning about how my extra weight didn’t bother him at all. It was always him, never me, who brought it up. And in hindsight, I can see he was basically jerking himself off for being so high minded to date who he ultimately thought was a fat girl.”
What an absolute trash-wad.
A low growl comes from the backseat. Cinder’s narrow, violet eyes flash with barely restrained violence.
But still, after so many failed relationship attempts, I’m starting to suspect that I’m the problem.
I must have said it out loud because Red jumps right in.
“It’snotyou. You are beautiful and awesome and an absolute fucking gem. It’s just that you seem to have a knack for attracting the wrong kind of guys."
The unladylike snort that comes out of Cinder’s nose would rival a bulldog with a severe cold. "He's an inexcusable scum who should be de-sacced with a melon baller.”
I shudder. That’s a bit vivid for me.
Throwing her long fiery locks back over a slim shoulder, Red frowns. “That and you tend to get a bit. . . ”
“Obsessed?” I fill in.
“You haven’t found the right fit yet, and it throws you off balance,” Red says diplomatically.
“Fuck these guys,” Cinder adds in a voice as monotone as ever. “And definitely butt-fuck Lawrence right off a cliff into a pit of ogres and spikes. You don’t need them. After all, as of today, you are going to be way too busy to date anyway.”
She really isn’t wrong, which sends twin spirals of fear and excitement careening through me.
The car comes to a stop, reminding me of the purpose of our little road trip.
For the first time, I’m not chasing an opportunity. This time it landed right in my lap.
In the shape of an unexpected inheritance from my estranged aunt.
Red and Cinder exit the car, but I hold back a moment. Flipping down the mirror, I pull out my lipstick.
Sliding the bright pink across my lips, I gift myself the affirmations I need. “You are capable. You are enough. And you don’t need a man.” I finish by sending myself a kiss in the mirror.
Hope is a pearlescent bubble, threatening to burst in my chest.
Somethingclicksinside me. It’s a quiet but firm feeling, and I know everything is about to change.
Maybe, just maybe, this time I’ll get it right.
Chapter2
This House Is Just Right...For A Homeless Man
GOLDIE
Under the blissful shade of the New England trees, I remove my hot pink sunglasses to better take in the view, I breathe, “It’s even more perfect than I remember.”
“I don’t think perfect is the right word here, Goldie,” Red says next to me, skepticism evident in her voice. Red, a creature of comfort when away from work, opts for her usual Boston University sweatshirt and jean shorts. Though she is already peeling off her top layer and tying it around her waist. The morning is fast moving into the muggy heat of an oppressive New England summer.
I, on the other hand, chose to dress for the occasion. Or how I imagine one dresses when receiving a sizable inheritance.
In the sweltering heat, my outfit is a bit overkill. Moisture beads at my forehead and between my breasts. I’m wearing black pleather shorts and a pink tank top, paired with a lighter pink suit jacket. I’m already sweating profusely under the jacket, causing it to stick unpleasantly to my arms. I glued rhinestones onto my fuchsia heels to match my sunglasses.
