“Oh faefucks, Goldie, no. I could never,” she says, pulling back so she can peer at my face.
“You didn’t know he was stalking me, you just saw your love interest and me. . . ” I trail off when it becomes too painful to speak.
One corner of Cinder’s mouth quirks up even as compassion fills her eyes. “First off,” she holds up a finger, “even if I hadn’t figured out you were a goner for the sinister brawny man over there, I know you would never do that to me. Number two,” she raises another finger, “I was attracted to him, sure, but I wasn’tin lovewith him. In an alternate universe without Ted where Lysander isn’t a raging psycho—half cat, half douche—if you developed feelings for each other I wouldn’t get in the way. I know you staunchly try to adhere to the girl code, but things aren’t always that black and white. And thirdly, I have been so worried about you.” Her eyes turn serious and intense. “You are a beautiful loving person and having that twisted around on you in such an ugly way is completely unfair. So please tell your subconscious fears to kindly fuck off.”
I hug her so tight, Cinder eventually gasps out that she can’t breathe. Still, I don’t let go.
When she finally wriggles away, she dramatically sucks in deep gulps of air. Getting a hold of that, she says, “He’d been weird the last couple weeks and after I saw him with you, I looked back and thought about our conversations. The way he subtly kept bringing the conversation around to you until I shared things about Ted, about your ex. Goldie, I gave him personal information he used against you, like your address for faefucks sake. But I didn’t want to jump to conclusions or panic you, so I slipped away to do my own background work on him with the help of Rap and Brexley. I see now how I must have sent you into an absolute panic spiral, thinking I must have hated you where I thought I was sparing you unnecessary panic.”
This wasn’t middle school. I didn’t lose my best friend. Cinder saw me for me and understood I valued our friendship above everything. Relief spreads through me, nearly bringing me to my knees.
Mom and Eli come in shortly after. My friends explain they found some records on Lysander stalking some girls in his past, and went personally to interview the last one. It was difficult to find her, Brexley explained, because she moved cities and changed her name and number when the restraining order didn’t work.
That’s when Rap stepped in and used some connections to find out where she lives. Apparently, she doesn’t hold any of my power problems against me and was only concerned about my safety and dedicated to helping get me in a safe spot. And when Snow caught onto the whole plot, she insisted to Cinder she come along too.
Snow adamantly claims I saved her from a fate worse than death.
I assure her she probably would have been fine on honey packets for a couple days before some other good luck came her way. Snow stares at me in that icy way before throwing her arms around me and squeezing me until my lungs almost popped. I love it.
Once they explained what they suspected, Lysander’s ex spilled everything— how obsessive Lysander was when they were dating until she basically abandoned her old life to get away from him. It was only after talking to her did my friends truly realize how dangerous he was.
As soon as they found out, they headed straight to my house to tell me. When he’d checked his messages, it had been Cinder calling him out for his stalking behavior and warning him to stay away from me.
All through this, Mom forces Ted to sit while she breaks out a first aid kit and fusses over him like he’s both the biggest knight in shining armor and the sweetest baby boy she’s ever known.
The dazed look on his face tells me he doesn’t know what to do with all this motherly attention, but the curve at the corner of his lips and the blush on his cheeks tells me he absolutely loves it.
Eli seems to get a little jealous after a while, and starts engaging my mom in conversation, but it’s really all over when JJ steps in the house. He seduces my mother—not sexually, of course—and soaks up her doting behaviors like a puppy suckling at a teat.
On second thought, that metaphor is disgusting.
Brexley hauls Lysander away, mentioning he knows some fae enforcers who will help him teach Lysander a lesson in a place where he won’t bother anyone for a very long time.
I’m about to ask questions when Red stops me. “Yeah, I wouldn’t. You probably don't want to know.”
After Mom finishes with Ted and lets him up, he crosses over to me.
“I love you, Goldie,” he says again.
“Oh Tedford,” I say, pinching his cheek. “Who doesn’t?”
He growls and nips at my throat in a playful way that makes me laugh. I may have dated a lot and seen romance in all the wrong places, but this bear shifter is just right for me.
Epilogue
GOLDIE
My desire to be admired and loved isn't so bad, it turns out. I went back to my old therapist who has some experience in psychology and magic. My fears that being so well loved will only make people hate me turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. In middle school, I learned to subconsciously punish myself for wanting to be liked, when it’s a perfectly normal thing to want to be loved and admired. I learned that if I ever got that level of admiration and love, it would destroy my friendships.
So we’ve been working on building my faith in the present with my new friends who aren’t immature or twelve. I’m also learning it’s okay to trust myself, though Ted did a lot of groundwork there, encouraging me to set boundaries according to what works for me. Therapy is a whole jumbled mess of complexes where pulling the knot on one string drags out three more.
With guidance from my therapist and Red, I’ve also learned how to use my magic to gently weave it around people, so they feel comfortable around me. At the bar, it gives me an opportunity to help people who try to drown their sorrows in booze.
Now I can blip away when I want to, though I only do it if I want to try to scare Ted at his house. It rarely works and he always makes the most of my surprise appearances.
Eli went back with my mom to Iowa and claims to be doing much better. Apparently, a couple months won’t hurt their pack bond because it is so strong. He can stay in the Midwest as long as they get together regularly.
Eli goes to meetings about his gambling addiction, and says the fresh scenery already makes a big difference. Ted and JJ agreed to go out there for Thanksgiving. In fact, I think they’d go even if I couldn’t. She adores them but probably not as much as they love her.
