CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
“There.” I pointed for Emma to follow. A break in the trees aimed the full moon’s glow directly onto a cave entrance. She weakly nodded next to me, likely to agree with anything I directed us to do at this point. “I’ll go first,” I murmured before holding her by the shoulders and dropping a kiss on her head.
Emma closed her eyes at the contact, her arms wrapping around each other as if it was all she could do to hold herself up. I crouched to crawl into the cave through its small entry, which I noted would also make it harder for predators to get through. It opened into a larger cavern that was just right for the two of us. It had long been abandoned by whatever had lived there. Probably eaten, no doubt. The cave would be safe for us tonight.
“Oh my.” Emma breathed after she ducked in after me. Her eyes turned upward as she took in the unusual sight. The cave’s interior was engulfed in soft blue glow. Countless blue slugs clung to the walls, emitting the soft light. Emma mused about their bioluminescence.
I would have asked her to explain what that was, but I was too tired, positive I was unable to absorb any more information for the day. Maybe for the rest of my life. The center of my bones ached, and my throat begged for cool water.
Emma sat against a side of the cave not covered in slugs, arms wrapping around her knees. The blue light on Emma’s face enhanced her appearance of being closed off. Since we escaped the web, it was like she switched off the valve to her emotions. It disturbed me more than I could say. I feared she was hardening from the inside out.
I sat next to Emma and wrapped her up in my arms. Instantly she released her knees, leaned into me and closed her eyes. I sighed in relief when reached back for me.
“It’s just too much. It’s all too much,” she murmured.
I ran my calloused fingers through her hair. Even the tangles from running through the jungle didn’t detracted from how soft it was.
“What is?” I asked, not truly paying attention. My mind was in a fog, and all I wanted to focus on was the feel of Emma curled safely into my side. Inhale the faint vanilla of her hair, mixed in with sweat, and her unique, intoxicating scent that was imprinted on me for all of eternity.
“Everything is. Me being the Propheros, you losing your powers, being lied to by your Order your whole life, everyone hunting us down,” her words slowed. “Travis choosing to side with the Luxis.”
Again, I was confused as to the depth he had wounded her. “Are you so bothered by what he did because you have feelings for him?”
Emma’s head reared back and off my chest to shoot me a look of disgust before swatting me on the chest. “Ew, no. Gross. Besides, I thought I made it very clear who I have feelings for.” She blushed at the end.
I nodded and touched her soft cheek so she would look me in the eye. “Then explain to me why he has upset you so.”
“Because what if he’s right?” Her words were strangled, as if her body could barely bear to let the thought out into the real world. “What if the Luxis, or the Veritas, or whoever, is right about the darkness coming? Which, let’s face it, sounds like the end of the world. Then it’s my job to figure out who is right, and then do what needs to be done.” Her arm wrapped around mine and her fingers tapped along my forearm in agitation.
I stiffened next to her, but my hand resting on her knee, tightened. “You mean die.”
She shook her head. “I mean save the freakin’ world. Whatever that means.” Then she said quietly, accompanied with a small bark of laughter, “Like how all the heroes and heroines do the right thing in my books. Except it’s not like it is in the books. We might not find a way out of this. We might not get our H.E.A.” Any trace of a smile slid off her eyes and mouth. She looked hollow and haunted. As if the past week had clapped an anchor on her soul and it was slowly drowning her.
“H.E.A?” I asked.
“Happily ever after.” Her hands tightened on my arm, clutching me closer to her.
“What is that?”
“What is happily ever after you mean?” At first her face was incredulous as it was when she’d discovered I was illiterate. Then it morphed into sadness. She reached up and brushed the hair away from where it dipped on my forehead. Her thin, chipped fingernails lightly scratched up further at my scalp. I never wanted her to stop. “It means that you’ve found a way to solve all your problems and you get to be with the person you love and stay in love forever.”
I spoke slowly, trying to comprehend what she’d just told me. It was difficult with her ministrations. “Does that really happen?” Despite my deep voice, it came out as a timid whisper, as if I was afraid to hear the truth. It almost perfectly described how I imagined it would feel to have my soul returned to me, but I never had a term for it. But now that I had my soul after all, I couldn’t have felt things were further from a happily ever after. I was with the one I loved but our problems hunted and plagued us.
Emma licked her lips and leaned her head back against the cave wall. Her arm wound back around mine again. “I don’t know. I think so, in a way. My parents were in love their whole life together, but I guess there are still problems that can’t be avoided. My mom died in a car crash, and well,” she paused as if her words pained her. “I guess my dad is gone now, too. But for a while there, things were really great. And even after my mom died, my dad said it broke his heart, but he wouldn’t do anything different.”
She turned away. “Then he said some mushy stuff about how she gave him the greatest gift of all, which was me.” Her fingers automatically reached up to touch the pendant that had fallen under her shirt.
For some reason it scared me to say the words out loud, but I couldn’t keep them from her. “I would like that. An H.E.A. for us.”
Emma managed to both smile at me and look miserable at the same time which urged me on.
“You said it. They are all liars.” My voice dropped and I fought the urge to grind my teeth. “I am only something to be used.” I grabbed her hand, threading my fingers into hers. “Just as they wish to use you too. If we go far away where they can’t get us, we can have a happily ever after.”
It all hadn’t quite hit me. I understood the Luxis had lied to me, but I still couldn’t believe I had a soul. I tried to search inward, as if by knowing it was there I could contact it within myself. But I came up feeling empty, broken, and tired. And not a trace of my former powers warmed me. I felt naked and exposed without them. As if any slight wind could bowl me over. But I could be strong for Emma. I would do anything for her.
“What they did to you makes sense,” Emma mused.
I blinked.
