CHAPTER TEN
The car drifted lazily into the next lane, then lurched as Emma jerked the wheel.
“Do we need to pull over?” I asked gently.
Emma had been driving for just under an hour when I noticed her eyelids droop with fatigue. Travis was already snoring loudly in the back once again. I was learning his stress response was to pass out.
She trained her bloodshot eyes on the road ahead. “Um, no. Maybe if you could just switch me in about half an hour.”
I had been dreading this moment. I toyed with the hilt of the sword which stood between my legs. “Emma, I can’t drive.”
“Why? Because it’s hard to protect us and drive at the same time?” She sighed. “I guess that makes sense.”
I kept my eyes on the hilt as I traced the designs of stars and ornate circles on it with my thumbs. “I mean I don’t know how to drive. I never learned.”
I felt her stare but didn’t meet it. It was just one more thing I lacked. I didn’t drive, I’d never tried the wine I bought from her, I didn’t understand most of the references she and Travis made, and I didn’t have a soul. Before now, I’d never been self-conscious of what I was. I’d always known I was less-than. Unworthy. But being around Emma brought it into a whole new light and it blinded me with its harsh glare.
“So magic and sword play, that’s what you’re good at,” she said as if trying to make sense of me.
I wasn’t a puzzle though. Far from it.
“Yes.” I was surprised by the bitterness of my tone.
“And taking people at their word,” she added with a side-long look.
I didn’t respond to that one, unsure of what she meant by it.
“Not everyone does that you know,” she said quietly. “Most choose not to trust anyone and assume everyone is always lying to them. Hell, some are even hoping to catch people in their lies just to prove themselves right for shutting everyone out. People can find a perverse comfort in proving to themselves they are alone and others are only out to get them.”
“Having faith in others is imperative when cultivating faith in the greater good.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“To avoid suffering, we must have faith in our place, in the people around us, in the greater design.”
She shrugged. “Yeah, I guess that’s why organized religion is so popular. We all want to avoid suffering and everyone tries to find different ways of doing it. Except everybody gets hurt in life at some point, then we begin to build walls around ourselves.” She cast another curious look at me again. “Except you. You don’t seem to do that.”
I frowned. “That’s not self-preservation. It’s separation. People separating from each other is like turning away from the Light.”
“Maybe,” She shot me a look. “But sometimes someoneisout to get you.”
Emma pulled the jeep over to the side of the road and flipped off the lights. Unbuckling her seat belt, she twisted her body so she could face me. The blue glow from the radio illuminated her as she studied me. Again, when she looked at me it was like truly being seen and my heart pounded with excitement.
“You don’t have walls or protection around you. You’re guileless and open yet…” she bit on her lip a moment, as if chewing on a thought instead of her lips. “Somehow separate.”
I swallowed hard. “I am a Chevalier. I am a servant.” Emma had turned the engine off and with it the heater, but the air seemed to warm around me under her intense stare.
After a few moments, she replied, “So you’ve said.” Before I could respond, her eyes batted away from mine. “Why are you making yourself separate from me?”
I lurched forward. “I’m not.”
She looked up through her lashes. “Yes, you are.” She picked at the fingernails on her left hand. “I thought maybe you liked me from the way you’d been staring at me all week. There is something here. It’s undeniable no matter how much I try. Something draws me to you like a magnet, and all I can think about is you. I feel like I’m going out of my mind, but I can’t stop this attraction. Like my mind won’t rest until I can get close to you. And yes, before you ask I don’t have a filter. I just say whatever it is that I’m thinking.” She ducked her head away as if embarrassed.
I turned my head to look out the passenger window. It was a clear night. The full coin of the silver moon cast its bright light onto the expanse of fields covered in a layer of glittering snow. They led to the dark looming mountains beyond. Only one vehicle passed by since Emma pulled over.
It was undeniable for me too, and a force unlike any I’d known. I wondered if the gods were laughing from up high as they cast temptation before both of us like bait on a hook.
Emma continued. “When I kissed you, I sensed you wanted more but then you stopped.”
