Rejected. Ouch. Was there anything worse than to be rebuffed by the one you loved? Love might be too strong of a word. I felt like I was headed that way with the way I’d been falling for Pandora, intoxicating by the heady sense of falling in love with her.
At least, I hadn’t said that to her as well.
Did it matter? Mentioning that she was my mate was bad enough, and she’d pushed me away.
My bear let out a mournful sound inside. He might have been ridiculously pushy about Pandora being our mate, but he wasn’t ignorant about what had happened. He’d felt the acute sting of Pandora’s rejection as did I.
Now what?I asked him.
For once, he didn’t insist or demand.
There was only one thing I could think of to help in this situation—to let my bear run free in the wild. I drove up to New Hampshire to a remote hiking area in the hills. Once I parked far off the side of the road, away from popular hiking paths, I ventured in with a duffle bag. After removing my clothes and stuffing them in there, I hid the bag off the overhang of a rock and covered it with branches. Fortunately, that would prevent someone from finding and removing it, leaving me to trek back to my car stark naked as a human or covered in fur as a bear—either way which would shock if not terrify humans.
I stood upright and glanced around me. A mixture of pine, spruce, and birch trees dominated the hilly terrain. Moss-covered tree trunks and rocks stood amid stretches of fern. The sound of the cars on the highway was barely discernible this deep in. I hoped that the peaceful sound of the woods with its faint sounds of wildlife and rustling leaves would help balm my battered soul.
Inhaling deeply, I let the scent of the forest soothe me. Then I initiated the shift.
My muscles and bones stretched and reformed. My body extended, and fur sprouted over me. My fingers elongated into sharp claws. I let my bear take over.
He released a low, anguished sound and then rushed forward, running up the hill. A part of me remained wary that he might turn back with the yearning to return to Pandora, but he knew better—she didn’t want us.
We stayed out there exploring the hills until the sun reached its peak overhead. Light stretched through the foliage into a dappled, lacy patchwork of light and shadows on the forest floor.
When we left the forest,I didn’t feel better like I’d hoped, and the last place I wanted to do was return home.
I texted Lucas, one of the few people I knew besides Pandora.Hey, are you free for a drink tonight?
A few minutes later, he responded,Sure.Then he texted,Everything okay?
As if he sensed something was up. No. I told Pandora. It didn’t go well.
Where are you?
Driving back from New Hampshire. I’ll be in Salem in twenty minutes.
I’ll meet you.He gave me the address of a pub that was on the way back.
Although the relief of having someone to talk to about this eased some of the cutting tension, it didn’t remove the yearning for Pandora. I clutched the steering wheel with a tighter grip.
Would anything?
My bear moaned, and I exhaled. Not likely.
PANDORA
Although I had the day off and planned to do some laundry, I only stayed home long enough to do one load in before the desire to leave drove me out. It was too difficult to stay there with what had happened with Austin so recent and so raw.
When I’d carried the basket of clean laundry into my bedroom, my gaze drifted to the rumpled sheets. I hadn’t yet made the bed, so they were mussed up from the night before with Austin. I closed my eyes and grimaced.
Should I wash them next? Somehow it seemed symbolic, like removing the sheets was an attempt to remove his presence, and I wasn’t ready to do that yet.
So, then what? I tormented myself sleeping in my bed with his scent lingering.
I gritted my teeth and forced myself to put the laundry away. Then I went downstairs. I couldn’t step into the kitchen without replaying the awful way I’d ended things earlier. He’d told me I was his mate—so I ended it?
An ache spread inside me. Had I made a terrible mistake?
I had to remove myself from the reminders.
