“Let’s get comfortable. I have a few suggestions that should help.”
Ryan grabbed his half-finished beer from the table and headed to the couch. Elissa swallowed the rest of her wine in a long gulp before refilling the glass. As much as she wanted to sit next to him—who was she kidding—as much as she wanted to sit on his lap, she made herself comfortable at the other end of the couch, tucking her legs underneath her. Serious conversation first.
“So, do you want the good news first, or the bad?” she asked.
“Bad.”
“I’ve done a little research into podcasting in the last few days. The market is getting saturated, so marketing will be key. Which means…”
“I need to do the market research. So, what’s the good news?”
Elissa sipped her wine. How would he take the news? Would he even see it as good given his relationship with his family?
“Spit it out,” he said when she hesitated.
“Unlike a lot of other start-up podcasters, you have resources. You can pay for the market research, and you can afford ads.”
“But the podcast will take longer to be profitable.” He tapped his fingers against the can, a nervous habit she found endearing. He was always in motion. A function of his ADHD, but she came from a more sedate family. Plenty of downtime for reading and watching TV and playing board games. She found his energy refreshing.
“Yeah, exactly. I thought you said you weren’t good at this.”
“I’m not, but I’m not stupid, either. More money upfront means it takes longer to recoup the costs.”
“By resources, I don’t only mean money, though. You have family who?—”
“No.” He took a long swig.
“Your dad is a successful businessman, your brother seems to be following in his footsteps. Your aunt is a marketing expert, and you have cousins who might be willing to help. Why not use their expertise?”
“I need to be successful without their help.”
“Why? Isn’t that what family is for?”
Ryan set the can down on the table and leaned forward.
“Maybe that’s how things work in your family, but in mine, the company is the family. If your dream doesn’t advance the company’s bottom line, you need a better dream. If what you’re good at falls outside their sphere of influence, it doesn’t count. If you can’t be the absolute best at everything you attempt, don’t expect any accolades. I’ve lived so long being told that what I want to do, what I’m good at, isn’t enough, that I’m not really part of this family because I don’t want to be part of the company. This podcast is my dream. I want to create something unique, something that uses the skills I’ve honed to support myself.”
Oh… The tears welled in her eyes as she fought breaking down entirely. He deserved better. He deserved his dreams.
Before she registered what he was doing, he’d scooted over to her side of the couch and wiped the tears away with his thumb.
“Don’t cry for me, Elissa,” he murmured. “I grew up luckier than so many others, every need taken care of. The only thing I ever wanted that I never got was my parents’ approval. I can live with that.”
“It’s not fair,” she breathed.
“I gave up on fair a while ago. Few things in life are truly fair, Elissa.”
“They should be.” Elissa regarded Ryan for a moment before she turned her attention to the table and the mess of dishes and containers strewn over it. “I’m gonna clean up while I think of a compelling reason for you to go to your family.”
She rose from the couch and cleared the table. But Elissa didn’t think about reasons Ryan should go to his family for help. Instead, she thought about how his face lit up when he talked about his podcast. She thought about how she could help him. She thought about her future at JMS Accounting and what a relationship with a client’s employee who was also a close relative would mean.
What they were doing here, now, was a bad idea. At least until she talked to Karina, they needed to put a pause on whatever this was. She turned around after placing the dishes in the sink, determined to tell him so, only to be met with his broad, muscled chest. The words caught in her throat, and she lifted a hand, half in surprise and half to close the distance between them. She was drawn to him and had to fight her instinct to touch him.
Bad idea.
Clenching her hand into a fist, she forced it down. Elissa looked up when he didn’t step away, the heat from his body warming hers. Gone were the traces of humor that had made his eyes sparkle and had turned up his lips. In its stead, what she found mirrored the wildfire of desire sweeping through her soul. Her back was against the kitchen sink, and she had nowhere to run, nor did she wish to. She longed to lose herself in the fire crackling between them. She longed to kiss him again, run her hands under his shirt and touch his skin, strip off her own clothes to experience his hands upon her.
She was tired of never asking for what she wanted.
