I chose my words carefully.
“I’ve had to live a certain way for a long time. I wasn’t allowed to do the things I wanted. I was essentially kept prisoner in my own house, very rarely allowed to leave. My parents said it was in my best interest, and maybe it was, but… that’s no way to live.”
We slowed to a stop, and my heart fluttered as our eyes met. I swallowed the emotion threatening to clog my throat and pressed on.
“All I’ve ever wanted was to be normal,” I said. “To do what everyone else did. I wanted to have fun, to live, to have friends…” The words surprised me, but I didn’t stop. I knew how I felt—I’d lived with the same thoughts plaguing me for years—but hearing it out loud made me realize how desperately I’d been yearning for what I finally had. “And now that I have a taste of that, now that I finally know what I’ve been missing out on, I… I don’t think I could ever go back.”
A myriad of emotions flashed over Daze’s features, and another moment of silence dragged by. Heat prickled across my cheeks, and I wondered if I’d said too much. Was there such a thing?
Had I turned him off by talking about my past? I shifted my weight back and forth.Did I make everything awkward?
Finally, he smiled and stuck out his hand, turning my insides to goo. “Stick with us, and you’ll never have to go back.”
More heat bloomed over my cheeks, and I slowly reached out to take the offering, swallowing a squeak when he intertwined our fingers.
Turning without a word, he led us down the sidewalk. All the while, my heart hammered erratically, and I kept glancing at my hand in his. It was silly, but I’d never been so happy. Like a kid with her first crush, I was giddy, and I had no idea what to do about it.
WhatcouldI do about it?
Nothing. But that didn’t stop the little jolts of electricity skipping along my skin every time we touched. Nor did it prevent the goofy smile that spread across my face.
I might have been clueless when it came to boys, but everything about being with Daze made sense.
It felt soright.
Surely, he felt it too…
We waited at the corner for the light to change and crossed the street. I had no idea where we were going, but I trusted his sense of direction. If he wanted to take the long way back, I was fine with that. And if he didn’t want to go back at all, preferring to roam the streets of Dallas until sunrise, that was okay too.
Turned out, that wasn’t his plan.
After walking a few more blocks, the convention center came into view, and my eyes immediately landed on the clown bus. My heart sank, but I tried not to be too disappointed.
We needed rest. Daze, especially. The troupe had a big performance to prepare for. He couldn’t stay out all night, as much as I wished he could.
“Thank you for everything,” I said as we stopped next to the bus. “I needed this.”
“Me too.” He nodded, and my chest deflated when he let go of my hand.
We stood staring at each other for a long moment, my insides churning with conflicting thoughts. There was so much I wanted to say, questions I wanted to ask. But how did I ask if this was going to be our dirty little secret? If we were going to pretend like none of this happened when the sun came up?
Gossip would likely take the circus by storm, and if we told anyone, the entire troupe was liable to know by lunch.
“Get so?—”
“We shou?—”
We both started talking at once, and I blushed harder.
“Get some rest,” he said with a sympathetic smile. “I’ll see you around tomorrow.”
“Oh. Right.” I tried to ignore the disappointment that landed heavily in my chest. “Yeah, get some rest.”
Awkwardness eating through my insides like acid, I turned to grab the door handle. I pulled the door open, staring up into the dark interior, but Daze grabbed my free hand and spun me back around to face him.
“What are you?—”
He swooped down swiftly and caught my lips with his, cutting off my question, and I sighed into his mouth.
