He’d eat her alive.
The waitress dropped off our order and winked in my direction before trotting off to her next table. I ignored her and dug into my plate, painfully aware of Arina picking at her food.
Was she afraid to eat in front of me? Had our conversation spoiled her appetite?
I’d never been on a date with a woman, or anything resembling one, and I was confident I was fucking all of this up.
Not that this was a date. It wasn’t.
It was just a lunch date.
No. Just a lunch…
Flustered, I tried to make conversation.
“So, what’s next for you, Arina?” I asked, hating how well her name rolled off my tongue.
“I’m not sure.” She took a bite of her sandwich, and I watched her throat bob with a swallow. “I didn’t have any real plans before, and now… now, I have even less plans. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
She met my gaze, and I could see the fear in her eyes. She tried to hide it, and mostly succeeded, but at that moment it bled from her like blood from an open wound. She was terrified, with nothing and no one to turn to.
No one except me.
Guilt and nerves and a hundred other emotions roiled in my stomach. They squeezed at my chest, making it hard to breathe, and the diner suddenly felt much smaller.
She wasn’t asking me for help, but I couldn’t leave her stranded. Not when I had a crew of friends and resources at my disposal. Not when I knew firsthand what the circus could do to her,forher.
The question formed and flew out of my mouth before I could stop it or give it a second thought.
“Do you want to join the circus?”
She froze. The fear in her eyes morphed into curiosity, and she took another bite of her sandwich to fill the silence. Then another. A full minute passed before she said anything at all.
“Revel wasn’t too fond of that idea,” she answered finally, her voice soft.
“Yeah, well, Revel isn’t in charge.” I shrugged. “To be fair, I’m not either. You’d have to talk to Hallow, but they’re chill. Mostly.”
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. I could see the gears turning in her mind as she mulled it over. My anticipation mounted with each passing second, my insides twisting into knots.
This has to be how contortionists feel when they turn themselves into pretzels.
I was just as conflicted as she seemed, and I didn’t even know what I wanted her answer to be. If she agreed, I’d probably catch hell from Revel and Night. They’d be pissed, and there’d be no avoiding them.
But if she walked away…
I’ll be pissed at myself.
The realization shocked and terrified me.
“I don’t know anything about the circus,” she said and sighed. “I’ve never even been to one. Besides, I don’t have a talent. What could I possibly do in a show?”
“We’ll teach you,” I assured her. “Train you. I didn’t know anything about the circus either, but I learned.”
“And if I’m not any good? If I can’t learn?”
I lifted a single shoulder. “Not everyone in the circus goes on stage. Some of them help break down and set up. Some handle props. Some of the clowns just walk around and hand out flyers. I know we can find you something to do.”
She scrunched her nose. “If I wanted to do something boring, I’d get a job at the grocery store down the street.”
