Liam chuckled, still chowing down. “Somebody’s hungover.”Asshole.
I cleared my throat trying to steady my voice. “No, I only had a glass and a half.” I bit out, focusing on the pattern circling the edge of my plate. “I’m just a little tired since I was cramming before winter break.”
I was screaming internally. Did I look halfway composed on the outside? I had no idea. Where the hell were the girls?! Why hadn’t anybody warned me he was coming?
“Sure.” Liam scoffed, and I shot him a dirty look, but he only grinned.
I moved behind the shelter of the kitchen island and started pouring syrup on my French toast. When I finally dared another look in Carter’s direction, I was horrified to find he wasalreadylooking at me. I suddenly turned into a wild animal, posturing, refusing to be the weaker one and break eye contact first. Carter’s gaze shifted lower, and I internally fist-pumped at being the winning primate, until I realized he was watching me make a maple syrup moat on my plate.For fuck’s sake.
“I didn’t know you were coming.” I said as casually as I could muster while I smashed another piece of French toast onto my plate, hoping it’d mop up all the extra syrup, but I was freaking the fuck out, and my voice was high and pitchy, despite my best efforts.
“Neither did I.” He was watching meso intently. “It was a last-second thing.”
“You look good.” This time, my voice sounded oddly flat. Crap. Too far the other way.
Carter opened his mouth as if to return the compliment and then refrained, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, the tension tightening between us by the second.
I crossed my arms over my boobs in an attempt to shield my embarrassingly hard nipples and rocked back on my bare heels,feeling alarmingly unhinged. “You know, I haven’t heard from you in years. I didn’t even know if you were still alive.” My voice held far too much emotion, and I winced, knowing I sounded erratic. So much for playing it cool. I sounded like I was in theater class doing different line takes, with my tone swinging from way too interested, to panicked, to outright rude.
“Sara.” My mother scolded me, pulling fruit out of the extra sub-zero refrigerator. “That’s not something to joke about, you know Carter puts his life in danger every day.” She arranged the fruit on a pretty platter and pushed it towards me before she turned to Carter, scolding, “You are taking care of yourself, being safe, aren’t you?”
He chuckled. “Yes, of course.” Was he? How’d he get the split lip, the scar? Was this a regular thing for him to look this banged up? Then he added, “As much as I can be, anyway.”
I shoved a handful of blueberries into my mouth, chomping nervously.
“I talk to him every week.” Liam shrugged indifferently. “You could have joined one of our many, many video chats.” I shot Liam a death glare.
“You want to sit down?” Carter asked, motioning to the empty chair next to him in the breakfast nook.
No, I didnotwant to sit down. Not in this outfit and not next to him, but before I could protest, he pulled out the chair for me.
I gritted my teeth. Of course, he was ever the gentleman, always polite and cool as a cucumber. “Sure,” I said tightly, trying not to draw any further attention to myself as I set my plate down next to his and slid into the velvet tufted, high-backed chair, feeling like it had suddenly turned into an interrogation seat.
I cut into my French toast far too aggressively. “Just would have been nice to hear something from you. You said—” I stopped myself, feeling the heavy rise and fall of my chest. Why was I so worked up? I thought I was over him. Iwasover him.
“You should have reached out.” Carter offered softly, still staring at me with those beautifulbrown eyes.
“Oryoucould have.” I bit out before shoving a bite of French toast into my mouth.
“Sara, what has gotten into you?” My mother scolded, looking absolutely bewildered as she flipped another piece of French toast. “You two used to be thick as thieves. I thought you’d be happy Carter’s finally home for the holidays again.”
“She’s hungover.” Liam didn’t bother looking up from his phone to torture me.
“It’s fine, Charlotte.” Carter looked totally unbothered. “She’s right. I could have reached out.Shouldhave reached out.” He corrected.
“See.” I said with a raise of my brows, but my sweet mother just gave me a look like,what the hell is your problem?
“I just wasn’t sure if you wanted to hear from me after...” Carter’s voice trailed off as my eyes went wide, silently begging him to shut his goddamn trap. He pivoted, thank God. At least I wasn’t totally dead to him. “Well, you just seemed pretty upset when I told you I was leaving back then.” Annnd never mind. Thanks for outing me to the whole table.
Carter looked down, cutting his already cut French toast into an even smaller piece, and I ignored Liam’s suspicious gaze darting between the two of us.
I hadn’t seen Carter since the charity auction. That awful, horrible night. We hadn’t spoken since he’d rejected my almost kiss, which in hindsight might not have been my smoothest move—trying to kiss him on a dare. But still. He’d broken my heart in more ways than one that night, and then he’d left, and I’d never heard from him. Not once. He’d wanted to leave his old life behind, and I guess that included me.
I was devastated. He was more than a crush. He was my best friend, and now I had no idea what we were. If there even was awe. It was embarrassing, thinking our friendship had ever been more than that. He’d always been Liam’s friend first—a fact I was continuallyreminded of.
Despite my current behavior, Iwasgenuinely relieved he was safe. Maybe a little too relieved for my liking.
I suddenly realized everyone at the table was staring at me, waiting for me to respond to whatever Carter had just said.“I’m just glad you’re home safe and sound.” My smile was forced, and I couldn’t quite meet his gaze.
