“Then why the hell didn’t you just say something?”
“I didn’t want to scare you.” He softened breathlessly. “You’d had such a fucking hard year.” His chest rose and fell wildly. “I didn’t want you to be looking over your shoulder, constantly worrying. I know how important having a normal college experience was for you. So I made sure they’d stay out of your way.” He swallowed hard. “But I had to be sure you weren’t in any danger.”
“I wasn’t.” I reached for him, almost surprised when he let me take his hand. “I wish you had just told me.” I breathed, eyes darting between his. Searching. Hoping. Waiting.
Whatever I was waiting for didn’t come.
My chest tightened as that cold exterior settled back over his face.
Shit.
The question was out before I could stuff it back down. “Did you kiss her back?” I asked breathlessly, feeling his big hand calloused against mine.
He didn’t hesitate as he pulled away. “Don’t ask me questions that I can’t answer without hurting you more than I already have.”
Oh. The photo was real?
I felt dizzy as the fog cleared all too quickly. He’d been telling me over and over again that he didn’t want me, but I had just done a shit job of actually listening to him. Why did I actually believe I knew him better than he knew himself? How mother fucking delusional. I’d been a plaything when it was fun andconvenient and when it mattered most. He didn’t want to commit.
The reality checkstung.
But I shouldn’t have been surprised. In fact, I should have expected it from him. I was still so naïve—afterallthose years of pining. I was still trying to force a freaking happily ever after with someone who clearly didn’t want me. Who does that?! Apparently me.
Iwasn’t supposed to chasehim, and yet that’s all I’d done,my entire life.I realized in that moment exactly what I wanted.Iwanted to be pursued for once. I wasdonedoing the chasing.
He was telling me loud and clear what he wanted, and it wasn’t me—it was another one of those fucking blondes he loved so much.
I fumbled with the clasp of the tiny pendant around my neck. “I always want the best for you, but I can’t pretend this isn’t exactly what I expected from the moment you kissed me on the pier.” I hesitated, the heartbreak quickly catching up with my ambition and fury. “I thought—this was all moving so fast, but I thought you were my person, Carter. I guess… I was wrong.” I swallowed hard, the word sticking in my throat. “Goodbye.” It came out a whisper as I trickled the necklace down onto the desk, not waiting to see if he picked it up.
“Sara, I?—”
“Don’t.” I cut him off with a sound that was more a sob than a word. “I’m finally finding the strength to do exactly what you asked me to. Please don’t follow me. This is hard enough as it is.” I practically sprinted to the elevator, violently punching the close door button to escape. Hot tears burned an acidic path down my cheeks—I was ready to tear somebody’s throat out… even if it was my own.
I stormed through the lobby, eyes blurry. I didn’t give a shit what Carter or Liam wanted for me. What about whatIwanted for me? For fucking once. Everybody treating me like glass—and, yes, maybe last year I’d needed it. But I was strong too. I could be alot of things, in fact. I could be soft, and I could be strong, and I could be complex and difficult and fuck—I couldn’t even think.
On the street, my new red-bottomed heels clicked with every thunderous step I took. I wasn’t watching where I was going, could hardly see through my tears as I slammed so hard into someone it nearly knocked the breath from my lungs.
I felt myself starting to fall, and the man grabbed my arms as we spun behind a tree, planted in the sidewalk. “I’m so sorry.” I huffed, trying to right myself, but he wasn’t letting go.
Why wasn’t he letting go?
As I peered up, I didn’t catch his face because he shoved me backward.Hard.
I gasped as I fell to the ground, but before I hit—hands grabbed me, yanking me into an SUV with tinted windows.
Everything was happening so fast and simultaneously so slow. I gagged as rough, salty fabric hit my tongue, something painfully tight around my wrists before I could pull it away, a sharp pinch in my neck and then a flood of nausea as the panic set in.
The edges of my vision started blurring before I could even scream.
None of ithad been in my head, my bodyguard was upstairs, and I’d just told the one person who knew where I was… not to follow me.Oh God.
CHAPTER 51
I’m the Bad Guy
CARTER
Traffic was a bitch as I drove to my last and most important meeting of the day. Pissed as hell, I started weaving around cars like a speed demon, because Ineededto go fast—neededto enter that narrow, peaceful space between life and death to stop the pain.
