Except she pulled back breathless, eyes shiny. “Don’t say I love you like it’s a goodbye, Carter, becauseI love you too,and if you don’t come back.” Her voice cracked. “Ineedyou, so youhaveto come back to me.Promise me.” She demanded.
Did she just say she loved me? She did, right? She freaking loved me!? I picked her up and spun while the world painted itself in a rainbow of rose-colored hues. Life had never felt so full. I’d never felt so alive. Sara was all the way at the very center of my heart, and she could gut me from the inside out if she wanted to. It was simultaneously the most exhilarating and terrifying thing I’d ever felt.
“It’s not a goodbye, sweetheart. It’s the most exciting hello of my life because I’m just getting started with you.” I promised.
“It better be, because if you die over there, Kensington, I promise I’ll kill you myself.” A tear streamed down her cheek.
Oh God, I was never going to let her get in this car and leave me now.
She loved me too.
CHAPTER 45
Banana Dick
SARAFINA
My knee bounced as I anxiously sat on the stool in my art studio and reread the last text messages from Carter. I knew I should be painting. I needed to make some serious progress on this piece, but I was dying for a message to come through—one teensy-tiny little message that would give me proof of life and remind me that I was overreacting.
Actually, I was really proud of myself for keeping it together. The first couple of times Carter had gone radio silent had been absolute hell, and while I hated it, I was slowly learning to deal with the anxiety.
Honestly, it’d only been a couple of weeks since I’d heard from him, and this wasn’t even the longest stint. But for some reason, this time, it just felt harder.
I knew he loved flying, loved his job, but this fucking sucked—and even when I knew he was safe and sound, I hated the long distance. As much as I loved Briar Rose,I loved him more. Since I could really paint from anywhere, I’d already hinted at the fact that maybe after graduation I’d be willing to move, because when we did talk, in between all the flirting and sexting…we were talking about the future, and making plans—he was making plans,and I wanted them to hurry up and start already.
So I did what I always did when I missed him so bad my chest felt like it was going to cave in. I set my phone down and recorded him a funny little video.
A musical was blasting as I pranced around like a loon. “Hi baby! I hope you’re having a good day. I’m in my studio, painting, and managing my anxiety like a champ. Look what I painted—it’s your massive dick.” I giggled and picked up the camera, showing him the vulgar little doodle I’d made and then aimed the camera at the trash can. “And I even ate Thai food for lunch. Aren’t you proud of me?!” I turned the camera back around, telling him how much I loved and missed him, before I kissed the camera goodbye.
My smile faded as I quickly ended the video, knowing if it was too long it wouldn’t go through at all. But staring at the wall of messages I’d already sent him, my shoulders sagged.
I miss you so much
Good morning, thinking of you.
*Image*
I had a really bad nightmare last night. Womp womp
I wish I could talk to you right now, something real shitty happened today.
Also Vaughn is an ass, and I give you full permission to kick his butt when you get back. He deserves it. Grumpy rude asshole!
*Image*
Think of me the next time you jack off, because I’m thinking of you right now.
Remember that thing you did with your tongue. Let’s do it again sometime. Same place? Same Time?
*Image*
Carter?
Carter!
Flyboy
Hey big boi
