“I’m so sorry I was not honest with you from the start,” he said with an aching depth of feeling. “I was not honest with myself either, thinking I was not ready to commit to any woman, not even one I knew that I loved. Nor could I believe we three brothers could fall in love with three bluestocking friends who were as close as sisters. As the youngest, was I merely going along with my older brothers? I was so determined to stand on my own that I almost lost you because of my stupid hesitation. And it was stupid because I really hadn’t a doubt about my feelings for you.”
“I had no idea. I wish I had known.”
“And I wish I had said something to you. I was torn apart with agony when I learned of your betrothal. But I thought you were happy, that this match with Allendale was what you wanted. I would not have interfered with your happiness for the world.”
“But I was miserable, Julius.”
“You hid it well. I did not realize it until last week when I was taking you around London on your wedding errands how badly you were hurting. The moment I understood yours was not a love match, I resolved to break up your wedding.”
“You did?” She had no idea this had been on his mind.
Dear heaven.
“Then, your uncle was murdered and you…” His voice hitched. “You almost died. I have been in torment ever since, blaming myself for not speaking up sooner.”
“All the more reason why I must confront Allendale today.”
“Agreed, but not before we hear from Havers and Barrow. I will feel much better about allowing you to see Allendale if he is ruled out as a suspect in the murder.”
“Allowing me?”
He sighed. “All right, bad choice of words. I am not going to be a tyrant and demand your unquestioned obedience. Blessed saints, I do not think that word – obedience – exists in your vocabulary. But neither will I stand by and do nothing while you run straight into danger. Do I not have an obligation to protect you?”
She arched an eyebrow. “Well, for the moment the obligation should belong to Allendale. But he has been an abject failure. Not that I am usually in need of anyone to protect me, although I would not mind having you behave apishly when coming to my rescue from time to time.”
“From time to time?” He groaned. “I hope you will never need rescuing from a dangerous situation again. You are too stubborn and fearless for your own good, Gory.”
“I am not foolish.”
“I never said you were. But you do overestimate your cleverness at times. There are some situations when nothing can save you but brute strength, and that is something you do not have. Are we going to argue over this now?”
“No,” she grumbled. “But are we in agreement that Allendale must be told there will be no wedding?”
He raked a hand through his disheveled hair, somehow still looking magnificent despite the unruly mop and his day’s growth of beard. “Yes, agreed.”
“Julius… thank you.”
“I do not need to be thanked for encouraging you to break off your betrothal to Allendale. It is purely selfish on my part, as you well understand by now.”
“That is not why I said it.”
He regarded her quizzically. “Oh, then why?”
“Because when I lost my parents, I lost the only two people who ever loved me…and even they were not quite certain about it, at times. But I know they cared. They simply did not understand me. But you do. You know me better than I know myself.”
He smiled.
“No one has ever loved me truly and deeply. But now, I have that possibility with you. It is a very odd feeling, but also very nice.”
He caressed her cheek. “Then it is a good thing I have a lot of love to heap on you. I do, Gory. Never doubt it.”
Gory’s heart felt lighter than it ever had before.
She smiled back at him. “I knew I ran to you for a reason.”
“Your heart knew I was madly in love with you, even if you did not realize it yet,” he said.
When one of the maids arrived to assist her, Julius marched out to afford her privacy. His valet had taken to setting out his belongings in one of the guest rooms, and this is where Julius prepared himself for the day.
